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Original poster

To get another dog ? My dog has died

41 replies

wishinmylife · 24/06/2019 10:56

My beautiful dog died 2 days ago he was 13 and was my life.
We rescued him at only 4 weeks old.
He was abandoned in a carrier bag and we spent the first few weeks feeding him milk with a dropper.
I loved him with all my heart.
I've never stopped crying.
I have hundreds of pics and videos on my phone of him opening his birthday presents and with his Christmas hat on.
I know people might think I'm crazy but I loved him so much.
I'm 30 and I can't imagine my life without that love again.
I want to get another dog in 4-5 months when hopefully I've healed a bit.
Not to replace him because I couldn't but I know I can give another dog a nice life.
I would get a girl dog I think as I think a boy would be too hard as my dog was a boy.
Am I betraying my dog if I got another in 4-5 months.
I've got his ashes coming home in a teddy bear,and il keep him close to me for the rest of my life now.
I've also kept a lock of fur and I'm going to put it in a frame with his picture.
If I got another dog would I be a bad person?

OP posts:
QOD · 24/06/2019 10:58

Nope
Do it. The new one will help lift you up

MQv2 · 24/06/2019 11:00

My dogs only two but I'm already dreading that day coming.
I don't think I could be without a dog again so will definitely get another.

It's not betraying your dig, you gave him a great life. It's ok to do that again with another dog he might otherwise have a substantially less pleasant life

thewalrus · 24/06/2019 11:02

I'm so sorry for your loss.
It isn't crazy to grieve your dog.
Of course you wouldn't be betraying him if you got another dog. You sound like a lovely dog owner who could give another dog a happy home. Nothing wrong with that at all. You need to do what's right for you. When my first dog died I couldn't bear the thought of having another dog (then life got in the way and I ended up not having another dog for 20 years). I love my 'new' dog dearly now and wouldn't be without her. Whatever is right for you is fine. Just take care of yourself for now.

Alsohuman · 24/06/2019 11:04

Absolutely do it. We lost our beloved Hamish two weeks ago and the house feels desolate and empty without him. It’s a tribute to how much we loved him that we’re planning a new dog in September/October. We’re going for a different breed and a bitch this time.

Procrastination4 · 24/06/2019 11:05

You so would not be a bad person. After my cavalier died(at 13) I vowed I’d never get another dog as he was such a good dog no other dog could compare to him. However, I missed him so much (our whole family did) that I found myself scouring the rescue centre websites for a dog. Four months later we took a rescue dog -a pug cross and as different in every way to my cavalier that he could possibly be. We never compare them (except to marvel at how both seem to react the same way to the kettle being switched on/the door of the cupboard where the biscuit box is being kept opened! We love our new dog (though we’ve had him over four years now) and still have the ashes of our beloved cavalier. I think it’s a great testament to your first dog that you can’t imagine life without a dog, as a result of your life with him. I know that’s how it was for us. Best of luck and hope you’ll have another dog to love soon.

Petitprince · 24/06/2019 11:07

Before humans die, they write their last will and testament, giving their home and all they have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I’d ask…
To a poor and lonely stray, I’d give my happy home; my bowl and cozy bed, soft pillow and all my toys; the lap, which I loved so much; the hand that stroked my fur; and the sweet voice that spoke my name.
I’d will to the sad, scared, shelter dog the place I had in my human’s loving heart, of which there seemed no bounds.
So, when I die, please do not say, “I will never have a pet again, for the loss and the pain is more than I can stand.”
Instead, go find an unloved dog, one whose life has held no joy or hope, and give my place to him.
This is the only thing I can give…
The love I left behind.
– Author Unknown

Toddlerteaplease · 24/06/2019 11:07

Do it. I was going to wait a while to get a new cat. But the right one came up, and I adopted her 10 days later. She was the best thing. She helped fill the hole. She didn't replace Maia but she gave me something to focus on and really helped my remaining cat.

Alsohuman · 24/06/2019 11:09

That’s so beautiful @Petitprince. It’s made me well up - not that it takes a lot at the moment.

Petitprince · 24/06/2019 11:09

Not my words, but it helped me a lot when we lost our old dog. The only thing that helped was our new dog. I'd get a new one as soon as you can.

You are not crazy. You opened your heart, and loved him like he loved you.

newmomof1 · 24/06/2019 11:14

Your boy would want you to give another dog the opportunity of the fantastic life he had.

I'm so sorry for your loss OPThanks

Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 24/06/2019 11:16

We have 4 ddogs. Recently nearly lost one to cancer, had already decided if she died I would feel duty bound to fill her space and free a ddog from a rescue to join our family..
My dm pined for years for my childhood ddog so much she missed out on loving another one. And a ddog missed out on a home - albeit a batshit owner!

Original poster
wishinmylife · 24/06/2019 11:19

@Petitprince beautiful words made me cry.

OP posts:
Original poster
wishinmylife · 24/06/2019 11:20

@Alsohuman I'm so sorry you lost your dog also.
I'm deffo going for a different breed too and a girl.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 24/06/2019 11:24

It really hurts, doesn’t it? Hamish was a Scottish terrier. We’re having a Jack Russell bitch this time, at the moment her name will be Gladys but she may look like something else entirely when she becomes a reality.

Original poster
wishinmylife · 24/06/2019 11:28

@Alsohuman I just feel empty.
I'm crying in the supermarket when I see dog food,I'm crying when I look at his toys.
I've never felt this heartbroken since my mum died.
He was a lurcher
I've been thinking if we get a girl to call her poppy or Rosie.
It depends on what she looks like and if it matches her personality.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 24/06/2019 11:30

I'm so sorry for your loss.Thanks

And of course you're not crazy to feel as you do. A pet dog is such a physical presence, and dependent on you, losing one leaves such a void.

How could giving another dog a loving home possibly make you a bad person? We don't think it's at all wrong for widowed people to remarry, or for people to have more than one child, after all! Capacity to love isn't limited.

Take as long - or as short - a time as you need. Our house just didn't feel right without a dog when our previous one died. We were going to get the same breed but a different colour but when we found a very similar one (physically, not character-wise!) who needed a home, we couldn't say no.

Alsohuman · 24/06/2019 11:31

We’ve put all Hamish’s things away where we can’t see them for now. They’ll come out again when someone else needs them. @wishinmylife, I know hugs aren’t the done thing on MN but I’m sending you one anyway.

MrsTommyBanks · 24/06/2019 11:31

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had my amazing rescue PTS on March 10th.
I was absolutely devastated. I couldn't stop crying, didn't eat for a week. Couldn't go upstairs as I missed the sound of her following me. I even slept on the sofa. I had her from the age of 3, and she was 14 when she died. She gave me 11 years of unconditional love and was the best therapy for my mental health. I honestly can't imagine how I would have coped without her at my darkest times.
I could never replace her, ever.
On March 28th I rehomed another dog. I felt really nervous of not bonding with the new rescue. Not having the same connection, and guilty that I was moving on so fast. But this new dog desperately needed a new home and lots of time and love. I was in a place where I could give that, also I was lost without the companionship, and having someone to care for. I needed another dog for my well being I think.
So now I have Lady (not my name choice, she is 6 so too old to change it now).
Honestly, I think Jess ( my last dog) would understand, and be glad I'm giving the love I gave her to another dog in need.

I still miss Jess, I'll never forget her. I have a million happy memories of her. I'm forever grateful I shared some of my life with her, and for everything she gave me in return.
Now I'm making new happy memories, and that's a good thing.
I know exactly how you are feeling now, it's awful. I promise it does get easier in time Flowers

3GreenFrogs · 24/06/2019 11:33

I totally understand you. I don’t have a “dog”, I have a best friend who happens to have 4 legs and I’d be beside myself with grief if anything happened to him. But I would get another dog, not to replace him but because I couldn’t live without that kind of love.

Rescue a dog in memory of your baby x

CMOTDibbler · 24/06/2019 11:36

You won't be betraying him - you'll have loved him so much that you want another dog to have the life you were able to give him, and spring another dog from rescue.
I foster lurcher puppies for a rescue, and so I meet a lot of people who have lost much loved dogs, and that love shines through. Many choose to have a different colour or rough when their old dog was smooth for instance

recrudescence · 24/06/2019 11:37

When you are ready, let another dog benefit from your love and care.

Cryalot2 · 24/06/2019 11:37

Flowersso sorry for your loss. You will always have a special place in your heart for her. Just remembered you gave her a wonderful happy life.
Do get another little pal when you feel able to.
I love my wee dog to bits ( even when she misbehaves which is not often)
You do get attached to them .
Good wishes.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 24/06/2019 11:41

We had a pair of sibling cats and when one was run over, we ended up with another rescue cat within two weeks because there was such a hole and his brother missed him dearly and was constantly looking for him. The new cat was very different in personality, but she did a lot to fill the void.

eosmum · 24/06/2019 11:44

We lost our little girl on May 4 in an accident. Myself and my daughter spent last evening in tears again missing her so much. I think we need another one, but I'm also scared that either we won't love this one as much or that we'll have to go through the grieving again. I'm thinking we may get two, to make it easier. Look up Rainbow Bridge, it may help, it has helped my son deal with it. Flowers

Crazyladee · 24/06/2019 11:46

I get a lump in my throat and get all teary at the very thought of that dreaded day my boy passes away. I too can't imagine life without him.
Another dog won't ever replace him but you will get comfort from having another dog to love and he/she will help you heal through the pain.

Do it and don't feel guilty that you are replacing him because you're not.
Massive hugs to you Flowers

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