To ask for suggestions how to piss of DH :)

[verytiredMF]

Name changed for this.

So Saturday night DD who is just like her dad wakes me up 4 times, so yesterday I was exhausted and looking forward to a good nights sleep even put her to be late so she would sleep through!

Went to bed early & everything. DH has been stomping around all night because he cant sleep so woke me up 2/3 times between 10PM and 3AM.

At 3AM he finally F--ks my night by basically falling on me into bed and waking me up, he falls asleep whilst I am in the toilet leaving me no room in the bed!!

Did I mention I am also pregnant? Well I am so the baby decided to kick me for an hour so I defo wasn't going back to sleep then! By 10 to 6 I thought F--k this and got up, DD will be up within an hour so no point sleeping now!!!

So what can I do to make his life hell today since he isn't in work ? so far I have thought...

-SHAVE HIS HEAD
-GO OUT ALL DAY WITH THE CAR & ignore him
OR
-POUR THE MILK AWAY SO HE CANT HAVE A COFFEE

But not of those sound good enough to me 😄

BTW I cant wake him up otherwise he will just be a grumpy little P--ck all day and then I think id burn all of his clothes 🖕🏻

you are being incredibly childish.

Fantastic relationship you have there

Go out in the car all day, taking the telly remotes and milk with you.

Lighten up folks... Clearly she's joking.
I'd be annoyed too OP!

If DH had pissed me off, I used to squash his crisps before I did his lunch for work.

@rainbowbash @MyOpinionIsValid lol, its clearly light hearted, I'm just an exhausted fat pregnant whale that wanted a bitch and a joke on MN but apparently you cant even do that on here anymore without people getting the hump!

Was you up most of the night to guys? Don't worry I understand 😉

Change the WiFi password

@pancaketits that made me smile 😁

@InTheHeatofLisbon LOL great idea! Could take DD to soft play there is no signal but lots of cake and hot chocolate 😍

Change the wifi password go out in the car tell him the milk is off

"was" I up?

This is relevant, how?

FWIW I Had a 3 hour round trip to a specialist hospital in the middle of the night to exchange faulty life saving equipment. Now I have to go to work. You enjoy your day.

Run the vacuum round! Now!

Go out for the day... NOW! Taking the car of course! Assuming that he will wake up for your little DD x

I'd be having serious words about his behaviour when he's up and properly awake. Stomping round when you're trying to sleep is shitty of him.

Get your DD to wake him up. You snooze on the sofa

you are being incredibly childish.

I despair of people sometimes, we never used to need to put a "lighthearted" disclaimer on any thread that wasn't serious.

OP I'd go with pouring the milk away and then going out with the car. Subtle and explainable as a natural occurrence.

A slight sprinkle of glitter of his pillow will give him a lovely glow all day.

Do some hoovering, agree, play loud music in the room directly below the bedroom

Leave all of your dd noisy toys in the bedroom in random places and go out for the day. The toys that set themselves off are the work of the devil xx

Ugh I feel your pain OP! It's hard enough sleeping when pregnant. You don't need anyone making it harder. I like the idea of changing the WiFi password and going out with the car all day. Although if you can factor in a nap at some point you should. How old is your LO? Could she guilt trip Daddy in to a trip to the park so you can get some rest?

MyOpinionIsValid Are you always this stroppy or are over tired.

verytiredMF I would change the wifi password, hide the milk and go out to soft play center.

But on a more serious note I would be having conversation with DH about his selfish behavior id effecting you. And he needs to modify his behavior if he can't sleep at night. That he has to be quite and not crashing/bashing around and being loud. If he comes to bed he needs to do it so not to wake you up. I have insomnia and there is now way I would be loud an wake my DH or DC.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions!

DD and I are up and dressed ready to go out 😁 will come home when I start to crash & burn! I think coffee right now would make me sick so not going to even attempt it!

@MyOpinionIsValid that must of been hard for you, but no need to take it out on my light hearted thread, hope the rest of your week is better 💐

Don't just change the WiFi password, change the name of the hub as well.
Then go out taking the milk and the coffee.

Yes to hiding the remote, or better yet remove the batteries and make sure you have no spare ones. Then take the car out all day after using all the milk obviously, whack the heating on so he wakes up sweating while you're out! Costly, but worth it

Clearly you're being lighthearted and wanting a bit of a moan, but tell your DH to buck his ideas up

@Clutterbugsmum he really has trouble sleeping but his GP won't give him anything 😡 normally he sleeps on the sofa so he must of been very frustrated with it last night! X

Take all of his underpants out of his drawer and put in the ironing pile (the one place my DH avoids like the plague)