To be annoyed at friend for inviting us over for a playdate, and not letting DS play freely?

[morningglory]

Went to a friend's country house today for a playdate. It is a Grade II* listed place which has been renovated after purchase for a cost of 500,000 (she told me how much they spent renovating).

She told me prior to inviting me that she was hesitant to have us out because my son is "rambunctious". Whist we were there, my son was not allowed to leave the small playroom (with few toys in there) to go to the kitchen, or go upstairs. In the playroom, he was not allowed to grab toys from the shelves, play with cars near the walls (in case he chipped paint), not allowed to go into the kitchen and bother their newly acquired butler. In fact, he was not allowed to move freely at all. Also, he was not allowed to move faster than a normal walk in the entire house.

DS is 3 years and 7 months, and their son is 3 years and 8 months. Her son proceeded to say that my son was not his friend, berate my son on his behaviour, and had several temper tantrums. My son is an energetic boy, who is used to being allowed to play freely, with limits in our own house.

DS is a messy eater. She looked panicstricken at him eating, getting crumbs everywhere (grrrg! It's not like she is doing the cleaning up, ffs). And looked really annoyed with him when he dropped a cake onto the tile floor in the kitchen.

My son did not behave rudely, violently, or badly. Just an energetic 3 year old boy. I was a bit miffed at her insinuations today that he was a violent, naughty child. I understand her concerns about how much her house cost, but I thought country houses, especially those for families with young kids, were supposed to be child friendly places to relax away from the city!

[Megglevache]

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[mummytosteven]

oh dear. either bin the friend or only go to your place or playground/soft play. My flat is in a grade II listed building - and I don't get fussy about paintwork/visiting kids.

[Megglevache]

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[purplemonkeydishwasher]

butler.

BUTLER?????


don't go back.

[FluffyMummy123]

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[wannaBe]

"newly aquired butler". and this woman is your friend - why? sorry but she sounds like a protentious cow. Is her name bucket by any chance? .

[DoubleBluff]

She sounds likea neurotic bitch and her child will grow up with issues.
Steer well clear and make friends with common people/

[brimfull]

She's a loon who needs to take a valium.
I feel sorry for her son.

[Fireflyfairy2]

Did you snigger the whole time you were there?? I would have

But then I'm an immature brat

[potoftea]

Just be very grateful that you can provide a home for your son where he can be relaxed, and learn by doing normal things. I really feel so sorry for her child, of course they should learn to respect other people's property, but a home is for living in too.
Never bring your ds there again is my advice, and in fact if I were you I wouldn't want to visit there again. How can you even have a coffee and biscuit without worrying about dropping it if she is that fussy.

[catsmother]

YANBU.

She obviously hated every moment you were there so why invite you & him ... she had, after all, already decided he was "rambunctious" (indeed).

Maybe, just maybe, her eagerness to show off her half million pounds worth of renovations to you won out over her horror at the thought of letting your delinquent child over the threshold.

[Spidermama]

I have az friend like this. Not posh, but anal and really tense every time a child moves in her house. She spends all her time herding the kids around like sheep (she and I have four each) and trying to control their every move with bribes and punishments. It's awful. She even does it at my house.

I used to take it personally, now I know it's her and not me. It means I see her less which is a shame as I do love her too.

[wannaBe]

so, did you poach her butler while you were there?

[Spidermama]

It sounds like she wanted to show off her house to you but your child was a necessary inconvenience.

Could you tell her you'd rat5her meet at yours next time as you found it tense? After all, she was very open with you about your 'rumbunctious' child.

[Fireflyfairy2]

Do they live in this house full time?? Or was this just the first time you have ever been to it?

[DoubleBluff]

Did you ask her Butler to ring up and sort your car insurance out?

[PeachesMcLean]

When you say "friend" have you known her long? Sorry, but she sounds awful. Does she have redeeming features?

[lilolilmanchester]

sounds like you need some new friends! What are her redeeming features (before we all tell you never to see her again!)

[tuppy]

oh fgs ! My ds3 is almost the age of yours; we have a grade 2 house, albeit without the * . If you have young children surely moving about in a lively way and crashing toy cars into paintwork is COMPLETELY normal. Your "friend" sounds so far up her own arse she'll meet her own face at the other side.

[wannaBe]

is it possible it's not actually her house and that she's just house sitting for someone and has passed it off as her own? hence why she was being so precious?

[lilolilmanchester]

can you imagine if she's a MNetter tho> watch out for HER post: "AIBU to expect my friend's DS to play nicely in my £1/2million house and NOT grab toys, chip paint, go into the kitchen and bother my butler; drop crumbs so I have to pay my cleaner overtime...etc etc"

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

LOL! Does she have just the one child?