To always fart at weddings

[hipslikecinderella]

Since I had dcs the main formal events I get invited to are weddings and I always wondered why I often farted at them, but not really elsewhere. Then connected it's the only time I ever wore heels too. Must have been something to do with the position of my pelvis and posture. Its largely fine now, but is this horrific?

Fartzilla!

This is great ! Thanks for the laugh

Maybe you do it at other times, but you are just more conscious of it in formal situations.
Good to hear you’re pondering the big questions in life.

Your heading made me laugh and I so wish this was a Victoria Wood song,

I always fart at a Wedding
It is quite the thing to do
I’ve disgraced my self at Reading
And Once at Waterloo

I blame it on my high heels
As the thruuuuump escapes my bum
Or just the quite exotic meals
Made by the bridegroom’s mum

What ever is the reason,
I really can’t explain
But once it’s wedding season
I’m farting once again.

That is hysterical @Florentina1 I actually sang that in my head 🤣🤣😂🤣😂

I don’t know if it’s the heels but this happens to me too 🙈 I’ve always thought it’s a mix of being a bit nervous as I’m terminally single so it can be a bit stressful if everyone else is with a partner plus the rich food!

well this is an eye opener
I never wear heels!

is this a thing?!

PS Fantastic poem!

hipslikecinderella SUPERB!

Please, can I nominate you to be our Resident Poet Laureate?

Sorry, see that this was submitted by florentina1 [confused}

Sentiment the same tho...

hahahaha @Florentina1

I genuinely snorted laughing at that poem...you are magnificent

And Hips...you are simply marvellous

I heard that pome in a Pam Ayres voice

Florentina1 you’re a Goddess!

I vote for this thread to be in classics based on the poem alone.

Love the poem Florentina.
It's deffo not the heels, dh could fart for Olympic levels and is not a heel wearer.

But did you snap first?

Riley Victoria Wood. Superb tribute!

RIP
I don't snart much

I am humbled and honoured.

Lol. Love the poem and the general image 😂

are you also wearing control pants? they give me wind

Champagne?

The bubbles make me fart

Awesome poem... applause

I’m not sure I should admit this in case poo troll but I always need a number 2 in bookshops and I’ve never been able to understand why

I once read something on here that was similar! I felt less alone

Yes to needing a poo in books shops and the library. I thought I was alone in this until I heard Maureen Lipman say the same. I wonder what the science behind that is.

I fart anywhere and everywhere....

I have no shame!