To ask how often your toddlers get cake, chocolate etc?

[SinkGirl]

My twins are 2.5 - so there are no drip feeds, they are both autistic and non verbal. One has a medical condition affecting his blood sugar levels so that’s meant a high carb diet for his life so far.

I’ve tried to avoid junk food with them. Unfortunately they’re a bit too fond of processed foods like potato waffles and fish fingers for my liking, but they eat considerable amounts of fruit and veg every day so I pick my battles. One has a condition that means he must eat regularly so I have to give him what he will eat - fortunately they will eat some healthier options so I make sure they do, but they’d eat beans on toast every day if I let them. They normally only drink milk and water unless the one who’s unwell needs sugar quickly.

Anyway, I’ve avoided things like chocolate, crisps, cake, sweets, fruit juice / squash etc. Until this year they’d only had a piece of cake on their birthday and that was it. Tried to give them hot chocolate at Christmas and they threw it across the room in disgust. One had some dairy free chocolate at Easter and loved it, the other thought it was gross.

I haven’t avoided it because I think it’s bad, I’m very much a believer in everything in moderation. I’ve avoided these things for two reasons - they’re allergic to dairy, so it’s more difficult to find treat foods. Also, they don’t know these things exist and can’t ask for them, so it seemed silly to give them in case they then rejected healthier foods (a real possibility with their ASD).

One has become allergic to egg and I was advised to try him with eggs baked into something like cakes. So I bought some dairy free mini loaf cakes with jam in the middle (like the size of a cake bar). I only gave them a quarter at first in case of a reaction but they love them and no reaction.

Is a whole one of these too much sugar / calories for a toddler? How often do you give “treats” like this? I have no objection to it, I just don’t want their diet to be unhealthy and I have no frame of reference.

I thought by this age they’d be begging for this stuff and that would force my hand but as that’s not happening I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been advised to give something with baked egg in it “regularly” along with other allergens but I’m not sure what that means.

How often do you toddlers have stuff like this?

I’d love to bake them stuff myself but finding the time is not proving easy!

Oh, and I think I'm quite anal about toddler's diet e.g. no dried fruit, no juice or squash and no flavoured yoghurts, but even so everyone should be able to have a treat occasionally or you end up with an unhealthy relationship with food.

Maybe every other day - usually in the form of 'pudding' after tea.

Everyone I know who had a very restricted diet went mental as older kids and gorged on chocolate.
My ds eats like a horse. He has no sweet stuff at breakfast or in an evening as he won't nap else. He doesn't have fruit juice or squash unless at a party, its just water.
But he has a buscuit, small price of chocolate eg a third of a tiny buttons bag or a price of malted loaf or a quarter of a scone with jam every other day.
He eats fruit and veg with every meal.
He knows not to ask for sweets. He even tried black Seseme ice cream at the Japanese restaurant we went to and really liked it.
I think it's about exposing them to a large range of food and tastes all in moderation.
At the moment my battle is sandwiches as he's gone off bread!

There’s a great website called freefromfairy.com that caters for multiple allergies. Recipes and where to buy stuff as well. I have some egg free recipes too if you would like them, though I get that the last think you want to do in an evening is start cooking!

I hope your foot is feeling better!

Oh thank you - definitely much better than it was yesterday, still sore though!

Thanks, I will check the site out. I will definitely look at some recipes for making my own. Definitely won’t be this week as we are starting chicken pox round two (joy!)

Can you do a supermarket delivery? Dairy free food can often have a long shelf life so, if you can afford it, even if you don't usually have a delivery, you could stock up.
As for having a cake that size, I really wouldn't worry. There will be a lot of parents who do try & restrict that sort of food in a toddler, especially the first, but there are probably more of us who either let them have it anyway or certainly did with a younger sibling. You have two of them so it might be as easy to give them half a one each rather than a whole one each.
To be honest, given how many restrictions there must be around their food and how closely you must have to monitor everything, I'd just give yourself a break and, if they like it, give it to them.

When it comes to food, I'm the strictest person I know (admittedly not hard, as I come from a family who think haribo is some sort of sub group of toddler friendly vegetable) and even I couldn't get worked up about that a few times a week.

I think (completely irrational idea coming through) that cakey type things aren't as bad as sweets and crisps, because they are discernably food, in a way that a can of coke and a Chupa Chup is not. So more leeway avaliable. I echo a previous poster though- you must be incredibly busy, but if you can grab 45 minutes to make an apple cake or a batch of mini muffins, you can freeze the individual muffins or slices, and it'll save you a fortune, if nothing else.

My 2 year old has something like a mini soreen (a whole one!) or a bag of goodies toddler biscuits probably three times a week. Once a week she’ll have a small slice of ‘proper’ cake or bit of fruit crumble when we have pudding at the weekend.

She’s never had sweets and has a juice box maybe once a month if we eat out. I see those as pure sugar empty calories.

She eats a good varied diet with lots of vegetables so I feel comfortable with that level of treaty food. I’d say she’s average in her peer group, some snack on junk all the time and others are never allowed anything.

When we were weaning her I’d make fruit and veg muffins and they were great, get yourself some silicone mini muffin trays and it takes about 15 minutes to make a batch that you can freeze and will last you all week.

Thanks all. The irony is that I was a huge baker before having the kids, never bought a premade cake!

I’ve had a look at the local supermarkets who deliver and nothing great in terms of dairy free / low sugar / cooked egg. Will see if I can bulk order anywhere online otherwise I’ll bake when I can.

I really don’t want to be controlling about food - I had really bad experiences as a child that have affected my whole life and my diet is nowhere near as healthy as theirs. I’ve tried really hard to make sure they eat lots of fruit and veg but I’m the first to admit its mostly luck that they eat it! They’re strange children who’d rather have some peas or watermelon than chocolate. Their usual snacks are breadsticks and rice cakes.

I have no intention of denying them treats and if they were NT I’m sure they’d be clocking other kids eating crisps and chocolate and asking for it themselves but they aren’t so I don’t want to cause a problem when I can’t explain to them about balanced diet even in a basic way. Very determined not to make it an issue as they get bigger, I really was just wondering whether a cake of this size is really appropriate for a toddler if it’s a couple of times a week (purely for the allergen exposure).

Next up I need to start giving them nut butters (I have anaphylaxis and they’ve now ruled out nut allergy for one of them so I need to start giving them ASAP, but I’ve only just got epipens again - maybe I could make something with eggs and the various nut butters (once I’ve trialled them separately), seal and freeze in small portions and get DH to give them to them when I’m out of the way.

DD is 21 months, gets a small pot of Greek yoghurt with half a spoon of jam in daily. Other than that it’s rare tbh - she had some of my ice cream a few weeks back, a bit of rice pudding around the same time, but I can’t remember the time before that. But every toddler in our friendship group who has older siblings is much better acquainted with crisps, cake, biscuits etc. They’re all fine.

Tbh I’m pretty lax as long as she has a well rounded diet. Once she’s eaten her dinner, dessert is usually fruit with a biscuit or a cake bar- if we go out to a coffee shop she can have a sweet treat and on holiday she had a daily ice cream. However she only drinks water or milk, never had a chewy sweet or sugar cereal- and only eats those baby organic crisps.

I’ll have a look for some muffin recipes. I’m sure I can find the time if I juggle things round, I just feel like I’ve been fire fighting the last few months (we’ve all had one bug after another, we increased their nursery hours a couple of months ago and there hasn’t been a week since where at least one hasn’t been off due to illness, plus I’ve been struggling with illness myself, one had chicken pox very badly and just as he fully recovered the other is starting, DH has had a big deadline so working very long hours etc). There just hasn’t been any time or energy but I will find it!

We’re just starting to get a homestart volunteer which I’m trying to make use of by going out as I can’t take them out on my own but maybe one week she could play with them for a bit while I do some batch cooking / baking.

I see toddlers all the time eating crisps, chocolate, biscuits etc so maybe I do need to unclench and relax a bit. I just feel like we’ve lucked into a reasonably healthy diet (like I say, a bit more processed food than I’d like but skipping meals isn’t an option so
I have to go with it and add healthy stuff on the side). I’m worried about screwing it up by giving them a taste of the good stuff 😂

I have started giving occasional soy yoghurts - no ice cream etc so far. Maybe I am being mean! They really don’t have any concept though and while they enjoy the yoghurts and little pieces of cake bar, they’re not getting upset when it’s finished or doesn’t materialise.

Oh yes, they love a good melty puff or similar!

I'd probably give them one cake bar a day until the packs gone. And then go back to raisins/haribo/fruit yo-yos/ chocolate buttons/ Icecream

I remember my horror when a friend (who has an older DD) chucked a bag of rice cakes at her son and was like, “Here you go! Share!” - I’d been doling them out one by one every day. He’s fine. DD is fine. Some of this stuff is just letting go a bit. I think most first time parents go through the same.

Erm. Well on Mondays we go to a playgroup where the snack is often Party Rings and chocolate buttons. On Wednesdays we go to a story time group and often share a piece of cake in the cafe afterwards. On Thursdays we’re at a playgroup that always has crisps at snack time. And on Fridays we go to another group that has crisps. Plus today I bought her a Krispy Kreme donut while we were waiting for her big brother who was in the hairdressers as I could watch him from the donut place. She ate the whole thing. So my 2 year old has ‘treats’ quite a bit. And I’m not beyond bribing her with a bag of chocolate buttons when the occasion calls for it.

Sometimes I wish I could bribe them with chocolate 😂

They eat so much though. Took them to a consultant appointment recently which took 90 mins and they spent the whole time begging for rice cakes and breadsticks. Must have eaten two bags, then their lunch... greedy little monkeys. Luckily they don’t stop moving ever so they’re still slim 😂

I'd probably give them one cake bar a day until the packs gone. And then go back to raisins/haribo/fruit yo-yos/ chocolate buttons/ Icecream

Unfortunately this wouldn’t help us as they need the cooked egg in the cake, plus no dairy. Do you think those things are better to give as treats than cake? I didn’t think they were (except raisins, not sure about fruit yoyos) but maybe my ideas are skewed.

@Sinkgirl I think you're very wise to keep to a healthy diet as much as you can, especially as your DC have additional needs. I know quite a few children with autism, and some have all the sensory issues you could imagine around food, and it's a total nightmare for their parents, who are trying to keep them healthy. If your children are eating well, especially a wide and varied diet, then you are absolutely right to ring-fence that, protect it, and treat it as the holy grail it is. I've known children who will only exist on plain digestive biscuits and a particular brand of orange juice, and some have at times regressed to a liquid only diet due to their issues with food. They can become really quite ill as a result. I've seen your posts before - you're doing a fab job with your twins

Oh thank you, that’s so kind.

They do have sensory issues and there are things both won’t touch (one won’t eat any kind of meat aside from mince or processed chicken Goujons, the other refuses bread and pasta - who doesn’t like pasta?!) but we are so lucky so far compared to other kids with ASD. It may well get worse as they get bigger which is why I’m scared to give things like juice and squash as I think they’d never drink water again! I do give one squash when he’s ill and not drinking but it’s rare so doesn’t stop him drinking water so far. His twin refused squash the one time he tried it. It’s all luck really.

It's like a fucking twilight zone here.

My dd today has had pancakes with lemon and sugar and maple syrup for breakfast. Then an ice lolly. Cake after her cheese sandwich for lunch, another ice lolly mid afternoon and some jelly beans. She has all her teeth, is skinny as a rake and is healthy and happy.

All 3 of my kids are fine and eat tons of sugar. Regular dentist visits, teeth brushing, and exercise. What's the issue?!

We stick to treats at the weekend after a friend's dentist suggested it to her, for her daughter.

It works as it's a simple rule to follow, so the kids don't question it. On a weekend I'd let them have a whole one of those bars though. During the week we have fruit or yoghurt with a drizzle of honey for pudding.

@SinkGirl

No they aren't healthy it's a list of all the other snacks I've seen "outlawed" on Mumsnet but that most people eat irl

Sorry. Clearly my sarcasm detector has been broken by the lack of sleep around here 😂

My 2 year old ds is allergic to milk eggs and soya. Today has been a fairly typical day and he’s had a bag of crisps (skips today but often Pom bears or veggie straws), a plain home made biscuit, a homemade gingerbread man, rhubarb crumble ( really needed more sugar imo) and almond based ice cream. We always have a proper pudding
He’s eaten a variety of other foods today and basically I don’t stress about it. I was rationed and now eat far too much sugar. DM didn’t restrict DB and he barely eats anything sweet.
I don’t give him sweets and he can have juice at meal times.
Homemade biscuits freeze really well.