To not stop at the weekend

[Amibeingdaft81]

Single mum. Two young children.
Ex has every other weekend
I’ve recently changed jobs - very full on (enjoying). Part time (24 hours)
No family support network whatsoever

I am military in my approach to organising my life. My house is spotless, emails are responded to immediately, I have spreadsheets for everything, the children are at different schools with different pick up and drops offs. I also really enjoy exercise and run 4x a week (very early so doesn’t impede day) and yoga 3x a week (this is mid morning so does impact day). I
Life is enjoyable but very hectic.

So on my weekends “off”. I imagine that I’m going to factor in some down time.

But I never do!! I do to do lists and every weekend is going through it.

I’m not naive enough to realise that in part it will be distraction from fact children not with me. But in part because I just don’t want to stop moving forward.

Any other single parents feel like this on their alone weekends? This feeling of keeping things moving forward and not kicking back? No judgement if you decide the latter! Just curious about the other end of the spectrum

Ps I do flake out in the evening and enjoy a TV dinner and film!!

Are you happy with your life?

I think you're luckier than most OP. You work part-time and have your children EOW too which leaves those weekends free for you. Your children are in school during the week. All sounds very doable for me, my lifestyle is busy too, I'm away with work most weeks and those weeks I feel that I have no downtime at all.

That said, I'm equally happy with my lot, if I weren't I'd change it. I imagine you'd do the same if you wanted to change things.

I don't know whether you're boasting or not, I don't think there's anything amazing in that list that many of us don't do so I'll just leave it that I think that all mums are amazing with the odd blip here and there.

OP is presumably also using some paid child care as otherwise with the 3 mid morning yoga classes the working hours don’t really add up

I think it’s the housework that’s eating up time.

I was a single parent from day one. No weekends off. I walked the dog with DS from 6.30 to 7. 30, dropped him at nursery ( school in the later years ) at 8 for work at 8.30am. Finish work at 3pm to get back and pick up and walk dog for an hour. Also had a part time job of 7 hours at weekends and did babysitting.

I still had loads of what I thought was empty downtime.

How are you getting them ready for school if you get back at 7.45 and they go to two different schools?

I think your down time is exercise.
Down time doesn't have to be sitting on the sofa it's what ever let's you get your head away from the daily grind and stress.
You're not alone in enjoying being busy.

Is nobody else sitting here wondering how to get their hands on these spreadsheets?!

@Amibeingdaft81 I think you're doing brilliantly. It sounds as though perhaps what you are after is not so much downtime as company? You haven't once mentioned a new partner or friends. Maybe you could tweak your schedule/to do list to get some time with friends or meet new people?

PS - I'm not joking. Id love to see your spreadsheets- I wish I was half as organised as you! 3DC, a hairy ancient spaniel and a FT job mean I can never seem to catch up!

I WISH I was that organised. I'm all over the shop. Is it that you feel like you just can't ever "just be" (I can't think how else to put it, sorry) and must be constantly occupied? I can see how that would be exhausting and my only worry would be burning out by putting too much pressure on yourself to be always being productive.

If it's not that and you're happy though, it sounds like you're managing things really well (.... slinks off to have umpteenth cup of tea of the day and cuddle the dog, ignoring the washing pile across the room...)

As I said previously I am trying to figure out how you fit in morning yoga given you work 24 hours, do you only work afternoons?
I work 28 hours, which equates to five days of 5.5 hours.
You need to tell us how yours are split.
As others have said running and yoga are your downtime, so it appears you have plenty of that?

Is nobody else sitting here wondering how to get their hands on these spreadsheets?!
'
Christ, no. Who needs that sort of stress in their lives?

I'm genuinely not sure what your 'AIBU' is? Running, yoga etc - isn't that downtime?

This just shows that people have very different ideas of what constitutes 'down time'. For some exercise would count, for others it wouldn't. Though surely 'a TV dinner and film' is definitely downtime?

It sounds like you have bucket loads of down time!

it sounds quite regimented and not that much fun.

I agree. It reminds me of 7 of 9, from Voyager.

Child: We never have any fun.
Seven: Incorrect. Fun has been scheduled from 09:45 until 10:23 on Thursday.

I reckon you leave the kids asleep for these morning runs ….but can't admit that on MN .

This thought crossed my mind too...

Well OP hasn't been back so think that question is answered unless we haven't reached allotted MN time on spreadsheet