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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want family heirloom cot?

77 replies

CotDilemma · 22/06/2019 21:41

Our baby is the first grandchild.

My father is very keen (insistent, really) that we use the cot that myself and my siblings used when we were babies; that my grandfather (his father) made.

It is mahogany with a very dark red-brown vanish and has become quite scuffed over the years. One one side there is an area where large plastic beads are threaded over metal rods which have now rusted. And the cot sides are fastened with metal fittings/poles that have become quite dull/rusted with age. I must admit, I don't like the style or colour of it at all and it matches nothing we own.

It is an unusual size which means we will need to purchase a custom made mattress.

I have negotiated with my father that if we use it I will paint it (initially he wasn't happy but I think he has accepted it). I am dreading the work involved in sanding, priming and painting it, how it will look afterward, and how I will remove/replace the section with the metal rods/plastic beads??

I am sooo tempted by the easy peasy option of buying a 2nd hand cot that is so much more attractive without the rusting metal, with a standard mattress, minimal work involved for less than it will cost to order a custom made mattress and buy materials to paint/refurbish this one. I've tortured myself by having a look on FB marketplace / Ebay and there are lots of lovely ones very nearby at incredibly reasonable prices. Furthermore, these can be adapted into a toddler bed - something that I think might be useful in future as we would like a potential 2nd child to share the same room for a few years (not enough space for 2 single beds).

BUT the cot has this sentimental value to my father and my parents have been (and continue to be) extremely kind and generous. My dad has helped us an awful lot with refurbishments in our house. I can't bear the thought of hurting his feelings and being ungrateful. I have already had to turn down some other very old fashioned mahogany furniture made by grandpa that my Dad wanted to offload!

I asked my mum to gauge how important us keeping the cot was to dad, she said it was sturdy and served them very well, but she doesn't think we should have to keep it. My mum's reasonableness has actually made me feel worse...

I think I probably have to keep the cot and pretend to love it, don't I? Any ideas on how I can learn to love it, or what I can do about the metal rods/beads bit?

Be mean if I deserve it! It will help me to do the "right thing"

OP posts:
EdtheBear · 23/06/2019 11:09

I wouldn't go blaming HV. That's the kind of thing that opens a can of worms and discredits anything else HV says.
Why was HV looking at it?
So and so' s HV never looked at their cot.
You slept in it fine.

Can't get a mattress to fit. Simple not lying.
Cots used to come in loads of sizes. 2009 they standardised the size of cots and cotbeds because of the risk of people using wrong sized mattresses and babies getting stuck.

Pinkmouse6 · 23/06/2019 11:40

You have to be assertive sometimes even though you know it might hurt their feelings. The cot doesn’t sound safe and frankly just sounds like a total PITA. Be honest with him about it and buy a modern cot.

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