AIBU: Dating man off tindr for 2 weeks, he assures me he isn't using the app but his location changes.. do I leave?

[Loka123]

AIBU: Dating man off tindr for 2 weeks, he assures me he isn't using the app but his location changes on it frequently.. do I leave?

Yes 2 weeks isn't very long at all (and we've had just 2 dates in the time, both which he initiated) but he says he doesn't use the app, hasn't got time to date multiple people and prefers to concentrate on just one person (me) yet I know he does as his location constantly changes.

& yes I know I technically have to go on it to check whether he's on it but every time I've checked, his location often updates to where he is.

I know I'm probably going to get slated for thinking he shouldn't be on it after only knowing me for 2 weeks but I don't envision any "relationship" which started with one person still playing the field as it were after meeting twice, going on to become long term right? Seems more like a back-up plan..!

His relationship changes whether he uses it ir not, he would have to delete the app to stop it which clearly you havent done either. Why would he after 2 dates, it may not work out.
In the nicest possible way, you really need to chill out. You will scare him off with this kind of attitude.

God I hope he runs as far away as possible. You sound unhinged, OP. You're dating. Not engaged.

*his location changes, sorry not relationship

I know nothing about Tindr but presumably he could write the exact same post about you?

Why is his location changing a problem? I must be missing something but I can't see what's pissing you off.

Leave ? Leave what ?

You’re not in a relationship, you’ve been on two dates and yes, he could be hedging his bets to keep his options open. Relax, if you enjoy each other’s company, see each other more and it gets serious then I would worry if he is still on tinder.

Leave 😂 you’re not together to “leave”

So you’re pissed off with him for being on Tinder - which you only know because you are also on Tinder?

He’s probably thinking the exact same thing!

Fucking hell chill out. Of course his location changes, he can not be using it but still have the app installed and it updates location automatically.

When you download then most apps ask you if it can use your location even when you’re not using the app. Yes pruvably just doing that in the background.

You may need to take a step back if you’re this worked up after 2 weeks though. Most people haven’t even had an exclusivity chat after 2 months.

Bloody hell. Typo city. I’m not pissed just too long in the sun!

Blimey OP. I think you need to take a step back!

My location changes regularly. This morning I went to the Park Run 14 miles north of my home. Then I came home. Then I went out this afternoon to get petrol 12 miles away to the south. Then I went 4 miles west to look at underwear in Tesco F&F. Tomorrow I might go for a drive to the coast 30 miles away to the East, followed by dinner at a nice Indian restaurant I know 5 miles away to the north from my house. Why do you expect him to not move?

I don’t really know how it works but I’d imagine the location service is a background thing rather than it only changing when he looks at the app.

You’ve been on two dates though, you really need to chill out and take a few steps back unless you want to scare him away.

Just to be clear, by location changing I mean on the app so I presume he's actively using it? Even if location services are set to "always", I thought it wouldn't pick up on the new location unless the app is being somewhat used? @WillYouDoTheFandango

& okay perhaps "leave" was the wrong terminology but you know what I mean, like quit hanging out with him.

Do any of that say I'm expecting too much, be still using the app if you met someone you really could see becoming long term? Potential for the "one" can be felt even fairly early on, right? Commitment not to go on an app is surely not as official as marriage or even social media status "in a relationship"? You could easily just go back on the app if it doesn't work out?

Its been 2 weeks / 14 days / 336 hours you’ve been on 2 dates. You are overthinking things and calm diwn

If it helps tinder location isn’t the most reliable thing in the world in my experience.

I’m not sure loka it’s been a couple of years since I was on tinder. But I wouldn’t definitively say he’s using it based on location changing.

I think 2 weeks and 2 dates is very early, so it’s quite a big ask to expect each other to be off dating sites.

However obsessing checking him on the app to see if it’s updated and worrying about him seeing other people sounds like you are quite stressed out by this, I would let it fizzle out as you don’t want drama before a relationship has even started.

I'd be using it too if I were him. Potential to be long term after just two dates is madness. I'd tell my son to run a mile and fast.

God, I'm glad I was dating in the days when you wrote your landline number on the back of an envelope for someone and hung out at a pub you knew they frequented.

Are you going on it specifically to check if he's on it?

Oh and when my husband and I started dating, we both still used the dating app at first. Neither of us went on dates with other people while we were dating, but I don't know if he was talking to other women on the app. It wasn't until we had been on several dates that we discussed being exclusive. We are very happily married and have never had doubts on either side about fidelity.

thenightsky i so wish those days/ nights still existed

well to give a seriousish answer
my location servies options for tinder are:
always
while using app

if he has it set to always then it pretty much tracks his location and will always update

or he may be actually looking on it but you do sound a bit overinvested after 2 dates

So you're still using the app but you want to know if it's unreasonable that he's also still using it But it's OK for you to keep logging in as it's just to spy on him?