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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think we need a campaign to improve morals?

92 replies

jennymanara · 22/06/2019 19:22

To think we need a campaign to improve public morals? I know I sound like Mary Whitehouse, but public morality does seem to be in decline.

OP posts:

gamerwidow · 22/06/2019 19:45

These things are already frowned upon though. I’m very liberal but I don’t think I’ve come across anyone saying having sex in public or watching porn on trains is ok.
I have never seen anyone in public in fetish wear either. Where are you that this is happening often enough for it to be a problem?

nancy75 · 22/06/2019 19:45

I’m a bit shocked that anyone is disagreeing with the op here.
Who is actually ok with people having sex in public or people watching porn on public transport?

Jemima232 · 22/06/2019 19:46

@YourSarcasmIsDripping

How could she have worded it differently without coming across as a disapproving misery-guts?

gamerwidow · 22/06/2019 19:47

Ps as far as I know having sex in public is still an arrestable offence in the UK. You can’t really get any more immoral.....

IsabellaLinton · 22/06/2019 19:48

YANBU. We live in an increasingly selfish and self-centred society though. People seem to feel entitled to do as they please with no consideration for others.

JacquesHammer · 22/06/2019 19:51

What gamerwidow said!

IsabellaLinton · 22/06/2019 19:51

The thread the other day about a parent whipping a potty out in Starbucks is an example that springs to mind. How and when this became acceptable public behaviour I have no idea. I don’t necessarily see it in terms of morals, but decency.

Vibiano · 22/06/2019 19:52

Never seen any of the things you are talking about.

Yabbers · 22/06/2019 19:55

AIBU to think that having sex in public,watching porn on train and going to the supermarket in full gimp suit is a bit too much

AIBU to wonder where on earth this is happening? It's not exactly something you fall over this stuff every day of the week

Crinkle77 · 22/06/2019 19:55

I've had sex in public so shoot me now. It was years ago and I wouldn't do it now. Doesn't make me a bad person.

Jemima232 · 22/06/2019 19:57

I've never seen any of the things you're complaining about in public, OP. And I've lived in London and the middle of nowhere in Scotland.

WhatdoImean · 22/06/2019 19:57

It is not rubbish... but I accept you do not agree with me. People are allowed to do that.

You say it will not end with single pregnant women being castigated? Really? It was only 15 years or so ago that the Tory party conference where they had "a little list" - single mothers being on there (never single dads... odd that one, I thought).

The truth is we DO have a set of morals in society; it is just that you do not like the current ones we have, because they are different from what YOU prefer, probably what you were brought up with? For example:- when I was younger, drink driving was a bit of a lark, a feature of many sit coms. Now... most people really do not consider drink driving to be in any way acceptable. A change in morally acceptable behaviour.

It does seem that everything you mention (sex in public, fetish gear, porn etc.) is related to sex... Don't forget, what some might see as porn, others may see as a normal part of a film. Someone watching Game of Thrones on a tablet may look like porn, but it is not porn (more like titillation done for ratings).

As I said at the start - you have your view - you are welcome to it, and I have mine. Societies not not stay static, and that lack of stability can be uncomfortable. I treasure how easy going ours is, and would fight against any attempt to police what we do. Considering your comments are all sex related, I would guess (and I do admit this is a guess!!) that you would prefer to have no naked bums/breasts even after the watershed? If you do not mind having that degree of sex on TV, consider those who were brought up in the 50s... the idea of a naked person on TV (even partially naked) would have them complaining about modern morals etc! Which.... brings us right back to Mary Whitehouse and "the moral majority" imposing standards on others.

Original poster

jennymanara · 22/06/2019 19:57

There are plenty of MNers who have said on a thread they have had sex in public. And yes I have seen this.
I find that when kids are present people expect lots of things not to be okay. But if it is all adult e.g. late in the evening in a town or city centre, then suddenly lots of things are seen as okay.

OP posts:

ncdforthistoday · 22/06/2019 19:59

What do you mean wearing fetish gear in public? I've never seen anything like that before

Jemima232 · 22/06/2019 19:59

I think Jennymanara would be the kind of person to appreciate the pre-1060s films where married couples were depicted in films in separate beds so that nobody thought they might have sex

user1471453601 · 22/06/2019 20:00

Ok, porn on trains. I've seen it once in 70 years. I told the two young guys reading it (yes, before the internet days) that it was inappropriate and to keep it until the were in a private place, they had no problem with that and just apologised.

I'm 70 years, I've never seen people having sex in public. Maybe I've seen people dressed in fetish gear and not realised. So it cannot offend me.

I don't live a secluded or protected life. But id sooner see two people having consensual sex, than one person protesting about others having the kind of sex they don't approve of.

Of course, id sooner see neither.

If I were to campaign against anything, it wouldn't be about "public morals". It would be about politicians lying to the public and/or the public swallowing those lies.

Let politicians have sex in public (though I wouldn't want to see it) but let them also tell the fucking truth

JacquesHammer · 22/06/2019 20:01

Whose morals would the campaign centre around? Surely they’re a subjective thing (with reference to those not already covered by legislation)

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 22/06/2019 20:08

I still don't understand why people are objecting against OP's view.

I mean sex in public is illegal anyways so enough of an issue to have a law about it, but OP is a diss approving misery guts for not wanting to see it?

VioletCharlotte · 22/06/2019 20:13

I'm not sure I completely agree OP, as I've never seen anyone watching porn on a train or having sex in public. However I do think there is an issue in our society with values. So many people seem to lack, what I would call, very basic values such as respecting one another and being kind and compassionate. And there's a general lack of basic manners as well. I hate seeing people walking along the street spitting or burping loudly, it seems to be considered normal by many people (at least where I live anyway 🙄)

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 22/06/2019 20:15

I think as a society we have all become very selfish and it would do us all some good if there was public disapproval of behaviour that hurts other people.
For my money I'd like non payment of child support/not seeing your children to be something that is viewed as deeply shameful rather than accepted. I'd like cheating on one's spouse to be seen as a negative character trait rather than just something lots of people do and therefore no big deal. We are too accepting of violence and aggression - manners are important. I don't want to hear people swearing loudly in the street in front of children or getting drunk on trains etc.

NameChange9854 · 22/06/2019 20:15

I agree with you that those things shouldn't be happening in public, but I'm yet another in the thread that's never seen any of them happen so don't really see the need for an advertising campaign. Far bigger things to worry about in this country at the moment.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 22/06/2019 20:28

I have never seen anyone in fetish gear in public (and I couldn’t really have given two hoots if I had, unless I was tripping over their chains) Nor have I seen anyone have sex in public - when people say they’ve had sex in public, they generally seem to mean something like “a fumble behind a hedge in the park” rather than “We had a lengthy threesome in the tinned goods aisle of Tesco including tying my partner to a trolley for a good spanking with a Value spatula”. And - despite using public transport of varying descriptions a lot - I’ve never seen anyone watching porn. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, mind, just that it’s not the epidemic certain sections of media would have you believe.

So, OP, have you actually witnessed these things yourself or is your pearl clutching driven by perception? ‘Cos I really don’t think we’re living in some sort of moral end times. Society has always got its knickers in a twist about “modern morals” throughout pretty much every period of history.

Pinkmouse6 · 22/06/2019 20:30

Morals are subjective, they change person to person. Most of us know that certain things are deemed wrong but some people think it’s perfectly fine to do and if it doesn’t harm anyone else then so be it. Morals aren’t generally the same as laws, you can’t enforce a moral code.

ImperceptablePerception · 22/06/2019 20:54

Can you include disabled facilities such as parking spots/toilets being left for such in your campaign please.

missyB1 · 22/06/2019 20:57

I thought this thread was going to be about how immoral this Government is.

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