How long is too long

[Brandaris]

How long would you be happy to have your FIL stay in your home?

AIBU to say that 19 days is too long even for the nicest FIL? I was originally told he would be here a week but it’s starting to feel like he’s moved in. I have about 5 days to go before he (hopefully!) leaves and I’m not sure I can stand it. I hope I’m a good host but about 5 days is plenty for me and I just want my home back.

DH doesn’t understand at all and thinks the longer the better.

Why is he with you at all?

I have a 2 night maximum stay policy. That goes for visiting others or them visiting us.

That’s a long time. How come he’s with you?

He’s just visiting us to see my DH and DD. He lives abroad so I know he wants to have a longish visit to make the trip worth it, but he lives in Europe not Australia!

How old is he?

When I lived abroad DM and other relatives used to stay for a month or so... DH never moaned or commented really. Probably not what you want to hear?

Just trying to work out if I’m being mean expecting a ‘week visit’ to be an actual week, not over two and a half! I’m so so fed up of all the tiny things that show he’s here and makes me feel uncomfortable- toilet seat always up, tv on constantly with no one watching it, house filled with snacks I don’t buy as I’m trying to lose weight, finding dirty underwear around the house, little things that are fine for a bit but I’ve had enough now!

Three days is my limit. Five nights at a push.

What’s the dirty underwear all about?

Was it not discussed when the trip was planned his long he was staying? Doesn't he have a return ticket?? Two nights would probably be enough for me!

I have a lovely FIL who is no problem to have around, helps around in the house etc. He also lives abroad and normally comes for 2 weeks. We are hoping he will come longer. It is harder work as I cook more etc but we love having him.

Why is the TV on when nobody is watching it? How weird. Just turn it off.

Nosauce his dirty underwear left where he took it off and didn’t pick up all day. Urgh.

Ginger I was told it would be a week, DH clearly knew it would be longer but he also didn’t know exactly how long, it clearly wasn’t really discussed and what I thought was agreed with DH was nonsense. I’m furious with DH about that, but his family are so laid back with plans it doesn’t surprise me.

I feel your pain!

A week should mean a week and even that’s pushing it in my opinion.

I’d ideally like guests to stay 3 days maximum. A week if I really like them.

Unfortunately my husband’s family live overseas and think descending en masse for 3 weeks is perfectly acceptable

Forty five minutes. At a stretch. Thankfully the situation is unlikely to ever arise again. One of the advantages of now living on the other side of the world. . .

You're picking up your FiL's dirty underwear?! What's that all about?

@Brandaris ooh that would piss me off too!

Dirty pants would have been put in the bin. PIL who lives in Europe, 5 nights maximum. After the pants behaviour perhaps a limit of 3. He doesn't sound a nice IL at all. I don't pick up my husbands dirty pants.

I don’t pick up anyone else’s pants! DH was dispatched to sort it out.

I’m glad it sounds like my 1week visit tolerance is about average. I don’t want to be a poor host but I would never dream of staying in anyone else’s house for more than about 5 days.

I assume he is removing his underwear in bedroom so let Dh go in and pick it up. In fact make him pick it up full stop where ever that is. Does your dh pick up his own? or did the apple not fall far from the tree

Clearly you’ve never heard the saying about house guests being like fish as they both start to smell after 3 days!
15 days... shudder. And he sounds like a disgusting slob, even if he is a lovely person, I couldn’t be doing with that.

My FIL has been dead for 26 years, so if he walked in the door I'd be straight out the window! For living relatives of any kind, I'm terribly sorry, it's a real shame but we just don't have the room and all of our sofas are too short to sleep on.

No wonder you’re fed up OP. Dirty bugger leaving his undies lying around 😒

An hour . He’s a nice enough man, I can only really tolerate most people for that amount of time though.

House guests and fish ... three days works for me.

Dirty underwear: I would really have to have a chat about that. Imagine if the DC thought that was OK ? What are you doing in his room, anyway? Let him make his own bed.