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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed by people who are always late

70 replies

AndroidB · 22/06/2019 16:38

and lack the ability to respond to texts to inform you they are going to be hours late. My mum is always late, every single time and doesn't respond to texts. I love her but ffs use your phone woman. Any of you have that friend or family member who is always late?

OP posts:
qj17 · 22/06/2019 16:47

It's so fucking rude I literally despise lateness.

Pinkmouse6 · 22/06/2019 16:48

It’s extremely rude, I hate it. I was raised to always attempt to be slightly early if possible which I still try to adhere to now.

Dollywilde · 22/06/2019 16:49

This is a constant bone of contention between DH and I. He thinks a 20 min grace period when meeting (where you don’t need to message) is normal. I think lateness is the height of rudeness. yanbu!

HomeMadeMadness · 22/06/2019 16:51

Yeah I hate it. I get some people are naturally disorganised but every single time? Really annoying especially when they say "that's just what I'm like" and make no effort to improve.

Girasole02 · 22/06/2019 16:51

Yep. Gone low contact with a 'friend'who has left me waiting on multiple occasions, often texting that they were 'just leaving' at the time we were supposed to meet. Finally had enough when we were supposed to be meeting a larger group but arranged to meet earlier so we could have a catch up. Left me waiting for 40 minutes, texting she was 'running late' after I had arrived at the arranged time. Arrived with no apology, virtually ignored me and regaled other members of our group about her various ailments (same monologue to each person). I was fuming but then angry with myself for putting up with it. Currently very low contact with no further arrangements to meet. (She also told me she was on holiday so couldn't attend a theatre show but Facebook photos suggest the show and her holiday do not clash as she's already away and show is in 3 weeks but that's another story)

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 22/06/2019 16:52

Its incredibly rude, especially when they can't be bothered to let you know.

MyPointlessUsername · 22/06/2019 16:53

My DSis is always late, if she says 2 she will rock up at 6. Her record so far is 9 hours late for a lunch invitation!

YANBU

hazandduck · 22/06/2019 16:54

@Pinkmouse6 being early is just as bad IMO. Hate people being early, it feels like someone is trying to catch you out. Especially a bride on her wedding day! Just be a bit late, everyone expects it.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/06/2019 16:57

Yes being late is annoying, your DM is noy going to change now, I usually plan an earlier time with people I know are always late.
I am usually on time or a few minutes early.
Dsis is the oppisite, she is always very early, it is very annoying, she also rings 3 times while on the way for silly things, she get annoyed when I say it to her, I'm trying to get everyone ready so piss off arriving 45 minutes before we arranged.
If id to choose I prefer late people.

Original poster
AndroidB · 22/06/2019 16:57

MyPointlessUsername 9 hours late for dinner Shock

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 22/06/2019 16:58

Anything above 1 hour is unacceptable even for a bride.

MyPointlessUsername · 22/06/2019 17:09

@AndroidB yep, she also missed most of her sons graduation, has missed several flights and lost two jobs as a result of tardiness. We have to tell her to meet us at least an hour before the time we actually meet, she has still not to this day been the first to arrive 🙄

JulianFarquaarMP · 22/06/2019 17:16

It’s really rude and totally avoidable. I can’t bear it, particularly having grown up with a mother who was always late. I am always reliable and on time for my dc.

Justathinslice · 22/06/2019 17:22

Gosh, I'm always late.... just a few mins though. If I'm meeting a friend who hates it, then I make an extra effort to be properly on time.

Original poster
AndroidB · 22/06/2019 17:23

MyPointlessUsername does she have some sort of ocd that means leaving the house takes so long or something?

OP posts:
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 22/06/2019 17:24

Just be a bit late, everyone expects it.

They really really don't. Angry

aposterhasnoname · 22/06/2019 17:25

This very morning we had an appointment in a town 20 minutes drive away in good traffic. The building where the appointment was is a minimum of five minutes walk from the closest parking, and that’s assuming you can get a spot there, by no means a given. DH thinks the correct time to leave for this appointment is 20 minutes before it’s scheduled. Thinks I’m ridiculous for insisting on 45 minutes before. We arrived five minutes late after compromising on 30 minutes before start.

Because we were late, the people scheduled for after us went in before we got there. We went in 20 minutes after our appointed time. DH insists that this proves he was right and we should have set off at 20 minutes before.

I really dont get the logic.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 22/06/2019 17:26

Gosh, I'm always late.... just a few mins though

So why don't you leave a few minutes earlier?

Why is your time so much more important that you can gaily keep other people waiting for you to finally bother to show up? It's so rude and dismissive.

Justathinslice · 22/06/2019 17:30

@BuzzShitbagBobbly
It is indeed a terrible habit. I don't think my time is more important. I do tend to consistently overpack my time, and underestimate how long each task takes...

Sexnotgender · 22/06/2019 17:30

Anything above 1 hour is unacceptable even for a bride.

I know several ministers who won’t marry anyone turning up more than 1/2 an hour late.

I hate lateness, it’s so rude.

winterinmadeira · 22/06/2019 17:33

I hate it too and think it’s very rude. In our family everyone is on time or just a bit early....except for my cousin who is always at least half an hour late. I don’t put up with it from anyone else but she’s so lovely I let her off. Only her though.

starzig · 22/06/2019 17:34

Meh. If I knew someone i was meeting is a latey, I would just be a bit later myself. Not a thing to really get upset over (unless you miss a flight)

InTheHeatofLisbon · 22/06/2019 17:34

I work with someone who is always late. It's beyond irritating because the nature of our job is that the morning shift can't leave until the afternoon shift arrive (the same for nightshift and dayshift) so it affects everyone else too.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 22/06/2019 17:36

Apart from that extreme example earlier, it's always the way that late people always manage to be on time for things like flights or stuff that matters to them personally.

Curious, that.

kiki22 · 22/06/2019 17:38

My mums always late as an adult I get major anxiety when I'm late it's all due to her.

We were going to my sisters recently she was late picking me up and said text dsis and say we will be 5 mins. It's a 15 min drive I said why would I say that we will be 15, she said it just sounds better. My jaw dropped.

I hate people that seem to be proud of their chronic lateness like it's a joke