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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed by people who are always late

70 replies

AndroidB · 22/06/2019 16:38

and lack the ability to respond to texts to inform you they are going to be hours late. My mum is always late, every single time and doesn't respond to texts. I love her but ffs use your phone woman. Any of you have that friend or family member who is always late?

OP posts:
Shootingstar1115 · 22/06/2019 17:39

My mum is the same. Always guaranteed to be an hour or two late. Really winds me up. Her issues is that she doesn’t want to get up in the morning, goes back to sleep then runs late!!

When we were young we were consistently late for school and other events. So embarsssing at the time 🤣

I think it’s made me into a super punctual person because I’m always early rather than late! 🤣

Birdie6 · 22/06/2019 17:40

Yes, my sister is always late for everything. She'll say " I'll be there straight after breakfast !" and turn up at 1pm. Won't wear a watch or carry a phone. Just infuriating. Turned up at her own DD's baby shower just as everyone was leaving , things like that. I never rely on her for anything these days, it's just too frustrating.

Ginger1982 · 22/06/2019 17:40

My mum used to put the fear of God in me as a teen about what her reaction would be if I was ever late (pre mobiles) so as a consequence I am usually super early and hate other people being late!

Siameasy · 22/06/2019 17:41

Yup and I try to get revenge. Eg DH and I have a relative who is always late so we just stopped waiting for them
Similarly at work we had a few colleagues like that so we would make sure they were stitched up. Sometimes we would all have to leave at X time to go somewhere and the late person would get the hump because we’d refuse to wait

Overmaars · 22/06/2019 17:42

When I get married I bumped into two different groups who had arrived so late they hadn't gone to the room yet. One was so late we literally went down the aisle together Grin.

I'm not keen on people arriving early though, especially to your house, as I'm always doing those last minute things, and they want to chat and it holds me up. So I'd prefer five-ten minutes late than being on time at someone's house.

DiaryofWimpyMumm · 22/06/2019 17:53

I'm always early to appointments, my mum has drummed it into me over the years. My ex husband was always late. Drove me mad 😡

dustarr73 · 22/06/2019 17:57

I hate late people.Its just rudeness on their part.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 22/06/2019 18:01

I hate it. I'm usually early and will mill around if I'm meeting someone in town. I've got a friend who always arrives up to an hour late. By the time she turns up my parking is running out. Oh well.

dustarr73 · 22/06/2019 18:15

I stopped waiting for a friend one night.It was freezing cold,and she lived a good distance away.She was "always just leaving".

I waited an hour,she said she was just leaving,gave her more time.No sign,so i went home.

I got a phone call about 40 minutes later asking where i was.Told her i went home.She wasnt pleasedGrin

Usuallyinthemiddle · 22/06/2019 18:16

The same parents are late to the same playground EVERY morning! How, how? It's the same journey every day! Leave earlier. I know some people struggle with it but you have to learn to manage it, surely?

foreverchanging19 · 22/06/2019 18:28

I can't stand people that think being late all the time is okay. I don't have a lot of spare time so don't have a lot of patience for people that value their time so much more than mine.

MyPointlessUsername · 22/06/2019 18:40

@AndroidB she just doesn't plan properly, needs to be somewhere in 20 minutes but still hasn't showered. She's been doing it all my life but it massively stresses me when we need to be somewhere and she is still faffing about 5 minutes after we should have been there. She is also "that person" who will cut a massive queue because she only has a quick question and will stay in the filter in lane in traffic until the last minute so always figured she just doesn't see things from other people's perspectives but I don't think she's selfish it's just the way she is (and has been for the 20+ years I have known her as an adult)

Rainbowknickers · 22/06/2019 19:01

We have looked after a mates dog over night-they where meant to have picked him up at 1pm-we still have him and it’s giving me the rage-I adore the dog but if they’d just rang to ask if we’d mind having him a bit longer I wouldn’t mind-but they haven’t I’ve had to cancel all my plans today which has made me even more pissed off
You are not U

WeaselsRising · 22/06/2019 19:09

My DH is always late. It frustrated me for years until I realised that he is completely incapable of doing that thing where you work out how long the journey is and how long it takes to park and work backwards with the time. (suspected ASD and Dyslexia, refuses to be assessed).

In his head it takes 10 minutes to get anywhere local, and 2/3 hours further afield. Despite that, he also thinks we can leave at the time we are supposed to be there. We were late every week for our karate class because it started at 10.30am so he'd be leaving the house at 10.28!

When we are going out together I now tell him the time I plan to leave the house, not the time we are supposed to be somewhere. Not foolproof and we still manage to be several hours later leaving for holiday (UK) than I plan, but we generally get to everything else on time. Left to his own devices he would miss planes and be late for work.

dustarr73 · 23/06/2019 01:17

@Rainbowknickers you have your answer for the next time.Say no.

CSIblonde · 23/06/2019 01:21

I always think it's a subconscious power thing. The 'thing' the being, 'You have to wait for me because I'm the important one' . Its massively rude and I've ditched someone who did it repeatedly.

tympanic · 23/06/2019 03:36

I used to work with a guy who was chronically late, every single day. It was anywhere from 20m to hours late. It wasn’t a job with that kind of flexibility. He would just stride in slowly and very unapologetically, yawning with his hair mussed up wearing stale, crinkled clothes, then plonk down loudly and either read the newspaper or get up again to get himself a coffee. It was amazing! The boss loved him so much he never said a word. In fact, he used to put him in charge in his absence despite the fact he was very young, incompetent and incredibly lazy. They’re both gone now.

tympanic · 23/06/2019 03:41

They’re both gone now.

FYI - I didn’t kill them off, but I felt like it.

Orangeballon · 23/06/2019 04:02

My sister invited me out for lunch on my birthday, she arrived 35 minutes late, she previously told me she could get to our meeting point in 18 minutes. Spoiled the lunch.

She has a history of being late' I call it disrespectful.

snitzelvoncrumb · 23/06/2019 04:07

My friend and I have young kids and often struggle to be on time meeting. We now arrange a time to text and let the other know how long we will be.

Snog · 23/06/2019 04:24

I don't bother arranging to meet anyone who is persistently late. So we hardly ever see SIL (who is lovely) and I ditch friends who do this. It's a shame but I get so annoyed at being made to hang around that by the time the person does show up I no longer want to spend time with them.

BitOfFun · 23/06/2019 05:05

You do realise that lots of posters are going to show up to explain how it's impossible for them to be on time because reasons? and I will get my arse kicked for saying so

I get more stressed when people are early. Well, specifically my mum. I love her to pieces, but when she says she's going to pick me up at half past, but arrives at ten past, I haven't even started my cup of coffee. It's not helped by the fact that the initially agreed time is already at least twenty minutes sooner than necessary because she estimates off-peak suburban traffic to be roughly equivalent to rush hour on the M25.

Still, it's all part of life's rich tapestry. I guess you just have to make allowances for people's little foibles.

Bumper1969 · 23/06/2019 05:44

I have friends who are always late for social meetings like coffee or drinks. Same friends are always on time for work, medical appointments etc. Drives me mad. I wait 20 mins now. It's the height of rudeness and a basic life skill.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/06/2019 05:44

Absolutely hate lateness. To me it's a sign of thinking your time is more valuable than others and is a subtle form of arrogance. Again this is especially true when people are unable to be on time for social engagements yet manage to catch trains/flights, attend appointments etc.

These days I don't let such people interfere with my plans. I have one very late friend and I treat arrangements with her as "nice if she shows up but she is non essential" and I a) won't wait for her to arrive before starting an activity etc and b) won't stay any longer if she arrives so late that I'm ready to leave.

Over time I have noticed she is now still late, but less so, 15-20mins rather than much longer lol.

my2bundles · 23/06/2019 06:27

I hate it. I plan so there's enough time to enjoy a coffee and chat etc then I need to get away at a specific time to collect my children. If someone is late it cuts into the time we have.