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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to track my children?

78 replies

PocketFluff · 22/06/2019 12:47

I've just read about the Tile tracker on another thread on here. What a great idea! I'm getting some for wallet and keys etc. This made me think about tracking the most important things to me: my children.

Does anyone know if you can get or make (with eg a Tile) a bracelet or something similar for them? I can't find anything on Google, just watches for older children that can be tracked.

Knowing I could track them on my phone should they ever get lost at the beach, days out etc would be amazing! No substitution for keeping a close eye on them, which I do, but a good back up. It would also ease anxiety after watching the Madeline documentary. Really shouldn't have watched that. And yes, I know that it is very rare.

I'm happy to be tracked when I'm out running on my own through my phone, I see it as a really good safety feature. They're little so no invasions of privacy or anything. Has anyone found something like this??

OP posts:
MillicentMartha · 22/06/2019 15:55

Gosh, I would have loved this for DS2. He has ASD and was a runner.

Original poster
PocketFluff · 22/06/2019 16:03

My youngest has had lots of health issues and has resulting learning delays and no sense of danger. When he's going through a separation anxiety phase he stays close to me so it's fantastic, other times he can be a bit of a runner!

OP posts:
Wintersnow39 · 22/06/2019 16:06

We have a gator watch for our son, it tracks them and they can ring preset numbers on it and those numbers can also ring them. There is also an app for you phone so you can track them on it. It works very well for us and allows him to have a little independence.

Heratnumber7 · 22/06/2019 16:07

Why not get them implanted with a chip - like the ones some people use with cats and dogs? Job done.

Hopeygoflightly · 22/06/2019 16:08

If they’re so young that you need to keep an eye on them - write your phone number on their arm when at the beach or at a festival. If they’re old enough to go out on their own for Christ sake don’t track them, give them some trust and freedoms.

formerbabe · 22/06/2019 16:10

When ours were very little, we got them wristbands made with my mobile number on it in case they got lost and someone found them. Luckily they never needed to be used.

AguerosAngel · 22/06/2019 16:10

DS is nearly 13 and goes into Y8 in September.

He has an iPhone and the condition of him having that phone (the one he wanted) is that the “Find My Phone” is enabled, this is none negotiable.

DH & I both have it activated on our phones too, works well for estimating when the other will be home etc, I’ve no problem with it.

Hopeygoflightly · 22/06/2019 16:10

Why would you want to know when they arrive at school? Secondary school kids should know how to get their on time, if they don’t the school will let you know and there will be consequences. How else are they suppose to learn. What good is it doing for a parent to know what time they walk through the gate at if there are no issues??

Stayawayfromitsmouth · 22/06/2019 16:19

I would be tempted to use these when they are out at theme parks, the beach, etc or a school day trip. But not everyday use.
Also I would tell them they had them.
Me and dh turn on phone trackers when we go out for bike rides or runs, etc so we can check where they are and just in case there is a problem.

Pieceofpurplesky · 22/06/2019 16:30

DS is 15. I have a tracker on my phone for him. I am his mum and want to know where he is. Particularly with the violent incidents that go on everywhere these days.

usernameuser · 22/06/2019 16:31

Yes for a day out I think it's a good idea, OP, longer term use not so much.
I'll never forget the day we lost our DS at the zoo, when he was about 3 - longest 5 minutes of my life, he's 14 now but it still gives me chills all these years later.
Tracking an older child/teen is just weird.

formerbabe · 22/06/2019 16:32

Why would you want to know when they arrive at school? Secondary school kids should know how to get their on time, if they don’t the school will let you know

He's at primary school..last year. For my peace of mind obviously Hmm

Cinammoncake · 22/06/2019 16:33

DS is 15. I have a tracker on my phone for him. I am his mum and want to know where he is. Particularly with the violent incidents that go on everywhere these days.

Sorry to be blunt but if our dcs were involved in any sort of violent altercation a tracker would be naff all help. Part of parenting is learning to let go and trust dcs imo. The reality is we can't keep them safe after a certain point. A tracker doesn't prevent them getting run over, taking drugs, etc etc

Original poster
PocketFluff · 22/06/2019 16:43

I'm talking about using a tracker on my young children in the event of them getting lost.

But to all those who are slating parents who track older children, I can kind of see their point. I had a quick look at the statistics. Quite scary reading.

Following the publication of National Crime Agency statistics on missing, Missing People has just published new figures relating to the number of people who are reported missing every year.

Someone is reported missing every 90 seconds in the UK

180,000 people are reported missing every year

There are 340,000 missing incidents every year

Children are more likely to be reported missing than adults: 1 in 200 children goes missing each year; 1 in every 500 adults goes missing each year.

OP posts:
Cinammoncake · 22/06/2019 16:52

OP it's natural to be worried about little ones getting lost. With older teens it's a bit different as you're trying to prepare to let them go into the outside world. Still scary but they're also entitled to some privacy.

It's sad people go missing. A lot of them must run away, rather than just say going missing in town iyswim.

spam390 · 22/06/2019 17:23

@mondaysaturday

gpspathfinder.com/2017/06/08/why-bluetooth-gps-devices-are-bad-for-child-tracking/

nuff said :)

Bookworm4 · 22/06/2019 17:27

Deary me quite a few controlling parents here, tracking teenagers? Non negotiable phone tracker? So what happens if he switches it off? Call the SAS?
OP your kids and you are always in the same room?
None of this is healthy, do none of you want your kids to learn to be resilient or independent? 🙄

Bookworm4 · 22/06/2019 17:28

OP your missing statistics are pointless as the majority go missing by choice not dragged off the street.

SinkGirl · 22/06/2019 17:30

Nevertheless, this is not as simple as that. When you begin tracking your children, it also means your excessive controlling behavior is compelling them to accept surveillance.

ODFOD - that article is ridiculous, especially when talking about very young children

I have 2.5 year old twins with ASD. I have to watch them like a hawk and can’t take them out alone. They are non verbal so couldn’t tell anyone their name, my name or anything else and are unlikely to be able to.

Having something like this would not give me a false sense of security or make me less cautious but if they bolted in a busy place I’d be more able to find them.

Invasion of privacy? What privacy should a child of this age have since mine have none whatsoever as it is - the only time they’re alone is in their bedroom at night and I have a video monitor!

spam390 · 22/06/2019 17:40

@ PocketFluff

'I'm talking about using a tracker on my young children in the event of them getting lost. '

Ermm........OK, so what exactly would be the magical mythical age at which point your tracking would no longer be required ??????

@ Pieceofpurplesky I'd like to ask you too, exactly what age would you deem it 'unreasonable' for your DC to still be tracked by his mother ??????? 20 ? 30? when he's married ?

Being a mother is a gift and a privilege, not a God given right to be all powerful in your child's life FOREVER ! The 'BECAUSE I AM THE MOTHER' argument simply shows parental insecurities around their own capability as a parent ( either that, or true egomania ! LOL)

spam390 · 22/06/2019 17:45

Oh and @ formerbabe , I just want to be clear, is it your opinion that your peace of mind is of more importance than your DC's growing need for privacy, independence and autonomy as they approach adulthood ?

Apolloanddaphne · 22/06/2019 17:50

I can see where my DDs are at any time of the day or night using the Find Friends app. I can see DH too and hey can all see me. My DS are 22 and 26! They really don't mind at all and I never ever ask where they are.

Original poster
PocketFluff · 22/06/2019 17:59

@Bookworm4

OP your kids and you are always in the same room?

I'm going to assume you missed the following post where I said the reason they want to be with me all the time is because they have waves of separation anxiety after seeing their Daddy die?

OP posts:
Original poster
PocketFluff · 22/06/2019 18:02

@spam390

Ermm........OK, so what exactly would be the magical mythical age at which point your tracking would no longer be required ??????

When they're old enough to be out on their own, find their way around and not go into a panic if they're separated from me. I guess that happens around 10/11?

OP posts:
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