Why do I hate my partner

[FyEnwiYwLucy]

Not so much AIBU because I know I am, but I just don't know what to do.

We've just had DC2 and I've been on the pill for 2 weeks. I can't help but resent my partner! I can't tell you why, but he makes my blood boil! When I'm angry at him I don't care about his feelings, but when I've calmed down I feel so unbelievably shit that I've treated him like this. So my only two emotions at the moment are anger or sadness! I can't imagine how drained he is and what impact this is causing our 2 little ones.

Earlier this week, we had a pretty big argument, mostly to do with me being in a foul mood. Other than that, he's handling it really well. Trying to help as much as he can, offers me emotional support and just generally wants me to be happy. Yet I'm so horrible to him. I'm really struggling and have no idea why I feel like this. I just want help and advice as to what I can do/has this happened to anyone and what did you do to resolve this

Could it be that the Pill is messing with your hormones and making you so angry? It does to a lot of women.

What were you like before you started taking it?

Sorry you feel like this. Could it be PND?? I've had depression (still have) on antidepressants and used to be like this towards my husband. I would fly off the handle at the slightest little thing and he could make my blood boil. I was a dick.
Been taking them and I feel so much better. My relationship is better. I'm more even iykwim
Go to the docs x

Go and see your GP. If this is unlike you it’s very likely to be either hormonal or depression.

In the meantime take deep breaths, take some time for yourself and listen to calming apps or music.

I was similar to this when I had our dc2, I think it was the hormones and the fact that he could get up in the morning and go to work whereas I was left at home eith the baby (?which is what I actually wanted by the way) but the tiredness and overwhelming hormones after a baby made me resent him so much.
Maybe get checked out by the Dr? it's a horrible feeling I know.

I imagine this is due to your hormones from having a baby plus the additional hormonal issues from being on the pill I know the pill made me feel dreadful combine this with the possible sleep deprivation from having a new baby. It will pass maybe you could talk to your health visitor about how you are feeling. We take stuff out on those closest to us at least your do is taking it on the chin and still being supportive tell him how you're feeling and don't be so hard on yourself having a baby is hard work x

Oh you poor love! Don't panic! You've just had a baby, you're putting hormonal medication into your body, so it's not surprising you're feeling a bit wonky.
I agree with pps, have a word with your GP, and see what they say.
Can you sit your DP down and speak to them about it too? Maybe make them aware you're not feeling yourself (I assume things were OK before?) but you're seeking help, so can they help out, be supportive, and be aware you may be a bit snappy, but you're working on it?
Yes it's horrible having a partner who's struggling, but if you can keep the lines of communication open, at least they know what's happening, it won't be forever, and you can work through it together.
Be kind to yourself too, it's OK to feel totally bamboozled when you've just had a baby.

I really struggled with pnd with my 1st DC, and one of the symptoms was being an absolute bitch to snarky towards DH. Definitely worth speaking to your doctor/HV

Thank you everyone for the advice. Before the pill I was very chilled, DP and I would hardly ever bicker, get on like a house on fire. Very cliche but are like best friends. Now, I just feel like I'm pushing him further and further. I agree, it would be best for me to see my dr. I have had depression in the past, but dealt with it alone and when I'd overcome it, felt the best I ever did and have done since until now.

I expect it's hormones! And maybe PND. I had PND and before medication I was flying off the handle with DH all the time.

I found it helped to surround myself with women; my mum, aunt, friends, acquaintances at baby groups. I craved female company and felt calmer with women. I don't think men can ever truly understand what it's like to go through pregnancy and birth and be a mother. Other women seemed to instinctively know how I was feeling. At my breastfeeding group there were often ladies in tears and we all rallied round to support and comfort them.

This is really good that you have recognised this though!! So well done for that!! You obviously dont hate him else you wouldnt have been bothered with how youve been. I think it will be the pill for defo, i had the contraceptive injection and i turned so hard and cold from it. I imagine you are feeling pure rage when you have a spell like this, i used to feel like this with pmt so i now have a pill to stop my periods as my pmt was so awful. Good luck, maybe stop the pill and use other protection for now until you see a dr.

It is probably hormonal and linked to the pill. After all of mine, I hated my husband for about 6 months. It was really hard to cope with the first time, but after that I just recognised it and carried on.
I wasn't on the pill though, it would probably be worth a chat with your GP to see if there is a different brand or a lower dose that might be better.

Get off the pill ffs. You've just had a baby. Let your hormones level out before pumping more synthetic ones in to the situation.

I feel for you OP but also for your DP, he sounds lovely and very supportive.
As PP said why on earth are you taking the pill so soon? It won't be helping your moods at all and your body is going through enough without the additional hormones. Maybe consider taking a break from the pill then see how you feel, it just might not be agreeing with you that's all.

When I came off the pill I despised my partner for like three weeks, I posted on here about it at the time.

It does crazy things to out bodies.

The pill did this to me, I felt fine as soon as I came off it.

Get off the pill ffs

I was contemplating contraception anyway, but was made clear by my very helpful absolute witch of a health visitor that we need to be on them. She's extremely judgemental, makes me feel very uncomfortable.

It does sound hormonal one way or another, so best to see your GP and probably to come off the pill or try another brand. If it continues or if it takes a while to get an appointment, you could also try keeping a diary of your emotions and outbursts, to see if there is a link to your cycle or to the pill cycle (if you continue with it).

Fuck the health visitor, it's your body. Just use condoms.

It's the pill. If you look online there are reports of women going on or off the pill and suddenly becoming unattracted to their partner.

If you want non hormonal some people find the copper coil good

Ditch the pill, it never agreed with me either. I went from mild mannered to raging when i briefly took it, i kicked a panel out of a glass door for no real reason, stopped taking it and was back to normal in no time.

My daughter changed her pill and became completely irrational to the point she would burst I to tears when her DP took a bite out of her toast which made him laugh. I reckon it's that. She now has the coil. Maybe have a look at that.

I was on Microgynon for a while and I was vile on it. Actually I was vile on most forms of hormonal contraception so I've ended up with the copper coil.

@FyEnwiYwLucy Condoms. Or just don't shag for a while.

Get off the pill. Seriously. No one should be on any form of hormonal birth control for a fair while after a pregnancy. It just ruins some women, totally.

Never got on with the pill (no libido, depressed, could kill if need be) , been fine with a coil, very calm.