To not tell my family I love them?

[Rowennaravenclaw]

I know they love me. And I'm pretty sure they know I love them.
We hug and kiss and always put 'love' on cards.
But we never say "I love you".
Is that strange?

P.S. this isn't including partner and kids, as I don't have any. This is my parents and siblings.

I don't think that's odd. My Dad never tells me he loves me, so I don't say it to him so as not to make him feel uncomfortable, but I don't doubt for a second that he loves me, and I'm sure he knows I love him too. You don't need to say it if you show it to people.

I say it to my dsis all the time, because we really do love each other and are affectionate like that, but not my parents as I don’t even really like them all that much at the best of times. DF does say it but I always cringe

I tell my dc I love them everyday as I remember my parents NEVER saying it and it makes me sad. Also tell dh every day but I don’t say it to any other family members

I don't think one person in my family has said it to each other. My parents have never said it to me. I don't have children but if I did I would definitely say it to them.

I say it to my teenage dds but not to mom, dad (died now but when he was alive) or sisters. And they don’t say it to me. We just know it without having to say it.
I think it’s a generation thing. We’re more in touch with our feelings now.

If you're all ok with it, it's not odd. If some of you are ok and some are upset, that's when it becomes a problem.

I think the first time I told my mum I loved her was as she lay dying, she was in a coma- I hope she heard me.

I don’t think she ever said it to me.

We did though... love each other. I miss her.

I tell my kids every day, and DH, and the friends I love too.

I say it but I don’t think it’s weird when people don’t. My DP obviously loves his mum and she him but they don’t say it. I think showing you love someone is just as good as saying it (sometimes better actually as words are easy to say without meaning it)

We're the same. I say it to DM as an adult. Never to Dad, Dbro or elder Dsis I do love them it feels awkward to say it.
I've said it to younger Dsis after a drink and she'd cringe.

I don’t like this at all. I come from a family if I love yous but know people who don’t and they don’t really know they love each other

@shockers I am sure she did.

I am an I love you type. My poor children, mother and sister get loads of them every day. They are the last words I say or write to them every day. I always think if something happened to me or any of them these lovely words would always be what we would remember hopefully
I can’t end a day with any of them on an argument

On my the other hand with the husband

I used to tell my mum all the time before she died. Like at the end of every phone conversation or
My sisters and I say it to each other too. Not every conversation but now and then if the context calls for it, or if we’re drunk! I do love my brother and sure he loves me but we don’t say it we don’t have that sort of relationship. I tell my best friend I love her sometimes and she tells me.

DP wouldn’t say it to his parents and I don’t think they say it particularly often to him but they do love each other very much and are close, they just show it in more practical ways. I think they have a lovely relationship and don’t think it’s weird not to say it as long as you show it, He certainly wouldn’t tell his brother he loves him and vice versa - that’s an odd relationship and rather strained although they do love each other deep down (I think!).

My parents have only ever mentioned loving me when they were beating the shit out of me (If I didn't love you then I wouldn't be bothering to do this). I don't mind so much about them not saying it, but the beatings were quite bad. Now I'm old enough to hit the bastards back (not that I ever have) they rarely speak to me at all, although I'm almost certain that they think we have a perfectly normal and healthy relationship.

I wasn't brought up with my sisters and I've never actually met my half brother, I'm sure if I told them that I loved them they would back slowly and carefully away!

With my children, I tell them that I love them and I hug them a lot, even the teenagers (who like it, I don't force them!). We talk openly about all our emotions, which again is very different from my birth family.

I say it to my mum all the time but not really my dad. I know he loves me but he's never been that kind of person.

I was thinking about this the other day. I tell my children I love them and I’m mostly vocal with my husband about it too when I’m not annoyed with him.

But my own parents/grandparents — it’s just not something we do. I write them (and everyone) how much I love them and am grateful for them, but I never receive anything back. I know they love me, they’re just not wired to verbalise it. They’re more the type that use the “acts of service” language, than people who use words.

@coffeeandbiscuit that sounds like my parents too - I’ve never doubted their love for me and they do so much for me but I can’t remember either parent telling me they loved me. I don’t consciously feel the lack but I tell my kids & DH that I love them everyday. Hopefully I show them too !

I tell my family quite often, but in the 6 years I've been with oh, I've never heard any of his family tell eachother they love one another, but it's very clear there is a lot of love in that family.

I started saying it a few years ago, when I realised suddenly that none of us (parents, siblings etc) had never said it to one another. My GM is in her 80s and I don't want to sit there after she's gone and think "I wish I'd told her I loved her". I know she knows it - it's more for myself, really.

I think if you are warm & affectionate you don't need to, as its obvious. The problem is when it's teamed with no affection of any kind, like my upbringing was.

Don't really say it in my family either. Me and mom will say it to each other jokingly, but it makes us cringe to say it earnestly.

Our love language is 'acts of service'.

I don't think you are being unreasonable but it is a bit alien to me.
My mum and dad told me and my brother every day that they loved us growing up.

Now we are adults we say it at the end of any phone call or txt, sometimes my dad will txt just to say he is thinking of me and loves me and is proud of me.

I used to tell my mum and her me, every time we spoke or saw eachother.

My DH and I tell eachother at least twice a day and I tell my son about 50 times a day and will continue to do so until it becomes embarrassing, and even then, if I'm honest, I'm not sure I will stop 😍😍😍

We don’t do it either. But it is shown.

I think we can demonstrate love every day without saying it but as someone who grew up amongst people who don’t say it, I think it leaves a space.
When my dad died those things unsaid weighed on me. I wish I’d said it more. So now I say it whenever I feel it. Why would I not?

I tell my dc every day, several times, I love them. Only people ever to tell me is dh and very very rarely my sons.

I've not loved many people. Kids I nannied for, an ex, my kids, my dh, my cats and dog .

I don't think grown up family members do go around saying that they love eachother. You tell children you love them and partners. With adults it's implicit, doesn't need to be said. Everyone knows when they're loved, it shows.