To not tell my family I love them?

[Rowennaravenclaw]

I know they love me. And I'm pretty sure they know I love them.
We hug and kiss and always put 'love' on cards.
But we never say "I love you".
Is that strange?

P.S. this isn't including partner and kids, as I don't have any. This is my parents and siblings.

My parents never say it to me and never have that I can remember. But like many other PP I know they do. It's only since I met my DH and his family that I realise how lacking mine is in showing emotions...both MIL & FIL tell me how much they love me and how happy they are to have me in the family, random aunts on the other side of the world say I love you to me when we Skype twice a year...its made me realise how nice it is to hear the words even when you know through actions and so I tell my kids every day that I love them and DH and I say it often to each other.

My husband always says “love you” at the end of phone conversations with his family, I never say it to my family (parents, brother). But I tell him and my dc I love them every day. Of course I love my family, we very very close, and I give them hugs/kisses whenever I see them, but we’ve never been a family that say “I love you”

Most of my family don't say it but we show it by being thoughtful and generous (with our time). Strangely the person most nauseatingly vocal about her love for our elderly disabled mum is the one that does nothing for her.

Showing love is much more important than saying it out of habit. We have a guy at work who says it to his wife on their 2-3 times a day phone calls, I'm pretty sure he loves her to bits but it's obviously just habit, proof of this was when it said it to one of his line reports when ending a call "ok, thanks, love you!" 🤔😳🤣 The only person I say it to is ds.

DD1 asked my mother why she never said 'I love you' to me.

The answer was 'I don't'.

This wasn't a surprise to me. After all, she'd never said it, so why on earth would I ever think she did?

If you do love them, it wouldn't hurt to say it.

I don’t ever remember being told I was loved as a child - but I never doubted it
Always tell my adult DC how much I love them
Always tell my DF n DM how much I love them - DM has Alzheimer’s so rinse n repeat regularly
DF (93) had a stroke a few months ago - I always tell him “I love you lots n lots (kiss) and a bit more than that even (second kiss) “ when I say goodbye after visiting him in nursing home - his eyes light up n it breaks my heart every time

Gosh @mitzik that must have been awful. I'm sorry you had such a mother

Ill say it to my parents when I leave or am on the phone. Mums mum died suddenly when my mum was a child and my paternal grandparents were not demonstrative of their feelings so my parents made up for that as you never know the last time you’ll see someone and I have carried it on with DD

Bluerussian

I don't think grown up family members do go around saying that they love eachother. You tell children you love them and partners. With adults it's implicit, doesn't need to be said. Everyone knows when they're loved, it shows.

^^ This.

I'm most likely to say it to my kids when they've been warts, particularly on frazzled "SOCKS!!! SHOES!!!" type mornings. A quick forgiving hug, kiss and "love you" goes a long way.

Hopefully my extended family should know I love them... well apart from "DM" which is just complicated. I know she loves me in her own way; she just doesn't always have age appropriate ways of demonstrating it. She seems to be realising that I'm an adult two decades on from reaching voting age...

How many more years will it take me to get the hang of formatting posts

We as a family (mum, dad, siblings, grandparents,etc.) have never been ones to verbalise it but I am under no illusions that they love me unconditionally and I am 100% positive that they know/knew that I love them with all my heart and would do anything for them. Actions speak louder than words and I am very lucky to have such a close, loving family. Therefore, no - I don't think it's odd or weird not to say 'I love you' to your nearest and dearest.

Gosh - thinking about it I can't ever remember my parents or brother saying it to me or me to them. I say it to my kids often.

I can't imagine not saying I love you to my parents, husband and kids. My parents said it to me and each other all the time. My husband and I started a tradition that we never leave the house without saying it, and my kids have always done so, as well. Our reason is that life is unpredictable and it may be our last chance and we would never want to miss the opportunity.

Once, when my son was 17, he ran out the door to meet his mates, he only said " See you later! " and then I heard his car start. About 5 seconds later, I heard him shut the car off, open the front door, and I thought he must have forgotten something. All he did was open the door and shout in, "I LOVE YOU!" , and then left again. It was so sweet.