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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hand in my resignation after parental leave was refused

53 replies

Namechangedtoprotect · 21/06/2019 14:06

I have a disabled school age child and an able body one. The child with disabilities cannot go into standard holiday camps. Dh has to give up work for the summer holidays and misses doing the work that he loves that is seasonal. I put in a request for unpaid parental leave to look after dc. Just had it refused as its a peak time. Every month is a peak time. Would I be unreasonable to hand on my notice so I could be a mother for the summer holiday and then look for contractor work in September? We have savings.

OP posts:
Auellica · 21/06/2019 14:18

If your budget can handle it, go for it. Are you confident you can gain employment after the holidays?

megletthesecond · 21/06/2019 14:21

If you can afford it and find another job in the autumn I'd do it.

CassianAndor · 21/06/2019 14:21

If your finances can take it, I would. Fed up with employers being shits about this kind of thing

adaline · 21/06/2019 14:35

If you can afford it, go for it.

I don't think your employers are being especially unreasonable though - for us this is peak time - no way would we allow someone to take a planned chuck of six weeks leave.

Yabbers · 21/06/2019 14:41

Would I be unreasonable to hand on my notice so I could be a mother for the summer holiday

YABU for suggesting working people aren’t mothers.

Ski4130 · 21/06/2019 14:46

Would I be unreasonable to hand on my notice so I could be a mother for the summer holiday and then look for contractor work in September? We have savings

No you wouldn't, but I can't take time off, so am I spending my summer not being a mother. Sounds good :-)

Stripyhoglets · 21/06/2019 15:12

No YANBU to resign if you can afford it.

Fairenuff · 21/06/2019 15:15

So your dh will work over the summer instead of you? That sounds fine OP.

bringthethunder · 21/06/2019 15:18

I would. Perhaps your employer will receive the resignation and change their stance on the PL. If they're going to be short staffed anyways, perhaps they'd rather retain an experienced staff member. Possibly not, but nothing to lose either way.

KickAssAngel · 21/06/2019 15:20

How much do you want to 'fight' this? Aren't the rules different if your child has a disability?

They have to give a valid business reason (and they can't just say 'we're busy' every month of the year) and you can then challenge it. You do have a legal right to PL - what would they do come December if you requested it each month, and they kept saying 'no' - they can't kick the can down the road forever.

It sounds like you quite want to just hand in your notice, but do think about long term issues such as whether you can get another job, pensions etc.

It's not an unreasonable response, but I would write into my resignation that I was being forced out due to denial of parental leave.

VladmirsPoutine · 21/06/2019 15:35

@Yabbers The point has flown so far over your head it's currently travelling through the galaxy whilst you seem to be somewhere in a shed in Sheffield.

OP, Yanbu but you need to think about how realistic that would be to your budget. Could you afford it? In addition to that, have you received any info on what is legally permissible in these circumstances. I'm not an employment lawyer but "it's busy" doesn't sound like it would carry much legal heft.

Greatnamebtw · 21/06/2019 15:43

VladmirsPoutine Grin

beachysandy81 · 21/06/2019 15:45

YANBU but I am wondering if the same issue will arise every summer with whatever job you do, unless you manage to get a term time only job.

Would it be worth discussing it further with your employer and tell them that you don't really want to resign, but feel you will have to as you have no one to look after your child over the summer due to his disabilities. They might not want to train someone else so will let you take it if they realise the other option would be resignation. It looks like you can only take a maximum of 4 weeks in one year. If they are always busy then it is unreasonable of them to refuse it as they would have to grant it eventually.

missfliss · 21/06/2019 15:46

Is it for the full six weeks OP?

I can totally understand the complications around this - we have a child with a disability, I work FT and my husband retrained as a teacher as it suits his skillset and he was made redundant - was the only way we could make our situation sustainable as it turned out by serendipity more than by design.

I believe all WP have the right to take a certain amount of weeks unpaid parental leave before the child turns 18. The main difference for disabled children (in receipt of Mid-High level DLA)is that their parents can take this as single days rather than complete weeks.

Bearbehind · 21/06/2019 15:51

Fed up with employers being shits about this kind of thing

Really 🤔

How are employers, especially small ones, supposed to get the work they need to be done if employees just decide they need to take ad hoc leave.

Job roles require certain numbers of hours to be done, if the person in the role can’t do them then what else do you expect an employer to do?

Cuppa12345 · 21/06/2019 15:54

Bear behind - it's a statutory leave entitlement. Sounds like the OP has asked loads and the answer is it's always too busy. Unfortunately statutory leave doesn't work like that. While there needs to be some negotiation about when is appropriate, employers shouldn't just say no automatically. People vote with their feet and if you're wasting time and money recruiting people time and time again, guess what, your business isn't going to be successful...

Bearbehind · 21/06/2019 15:56

But statutory entitlement doesn’t equate to the whole summer.

It should average out at 1 week per year but if an employee wants to take the maximum 4 weeks it’s not difficult to see how the employer will struggle to facilitate that, especially all in one block.

Bearbehind · 21/06/2019 16:02

Actually, with 2 children it could equate to the whole summer but it is still virtually impossible for an employer to plan for.

Also, if they can do without you for that length of time all at once then it would call into question the need for you at all.

Fleetheart · 21/06/2019 16:06

In your position I would do it and say why. If you feel comfortable that you will pick up work again after the break it’s fine. They don’t sound like they have really put any effort into helping you out. If they help you, you will always go the extra mile I am sure!

Yabbers · 21/06/2019 16:06

@VladmirsPoutine

Or maybe it’s you who is not quite able to follow.

adaline · 21/06/2019 16:06

You do have a legal right to PL

That doesn't mean she can just take it whenever she wants though. Summer is a busy time with parents taking annual leave and people away on holidays as it is - asking for six weeks off now is leaving it all a bit late really.

If the employer can prove it's too busy, then that's it really.

AyBeeCee10 · 21/06/2019 16:07

Yabu you cant expect to be on leave for that amount of time. And would this be a once off or are your expecting to do this often. You could resign if your budget allows but only you know that.

CcarparkCha0s3 · 21/06/2019 16:15

Have you only just put in the request for leave ?
Or did you request it at the beginning of the year ?
Other people have children too. How do they provide care over all the school holidays ?

CcarparkCha0s3 · 21/06/2019 16:16

People also care for elderly relatives & adults too

Ineedhelptocope · 21/06/2019 16:24

Fed up with employers being shits about this kind of thing

It is not the responsibility of your employer to facilitate child care arrangements.