To have only found out about birthing my own child 6 years later!

[Fakenametodayhey]

Me and DH were talking recently about when I was giving birth the first time. Baby was facing the wrong way so every time I pushed he kept sliding back in. I was pushing for 2 hours and was exhausted. Loads of doctors and nurses. About 10 people in the room. Can't really remember much except being so tired i didn't even care about the pain anymore.

I knew I had been cut open to help get him out. But DH only just told me that they had to use a suction cup and that he thought they dragged him out like a little rag doll.

I remember the midwife told me that I have to keep pushing or else the baby would die and I might die.
I remember thinking I will die then. So I missed one contraction and didnt push but then pushed so hard on the next one! And he came out and i felt all proud but nobody told me that i had help. Until now...

I remember talking to my friend who had a baby and had forceps and I told i had been cut but nothing more.

Actually i think it might have been a tear. Now i just cant remember. I wish i had written it down but i cant believe nobody told me!

It's been six years for me too and you have described the birth of my ds to a T except I asked for him to be suctioned our as I was exhausted from pushing and had a third degree tear. I remember hearing him cry but I was wheeled away to be sown while the midwifes looked after him as I was on my own during the labour .

I agree we should have a debrief as standard if possible. I had a bit of a nightmare, birthing pool, things ground to a halt, then epidural then episiotomy, ventous and foreceps. I threw up all over myself and my hair which was lovely. Still, delighted when a healthy baby was presented to me and seemed none the worse with a very healthy Apgar score. It was scary biscuits though.

I have my birth notes and DS is 25!

Maybe it depends on the trust?

I didn't get a debrief and I checked my notes while in hospital there were so many errors, it confused and stressed me. It was so busy. Midwives only had time to check stats, help with latch and leave. They gave information for discharge in going through notes. They told me the computer records were accurate. Baby was born 36+4, but I couldn't remember that, and I was asked a few times as the weight graph had been plotted at 40. Also, when the anethatist came with a feedback form which said I had forceps which I didn't. They corrected it when I said. Drs talked about forceps, Midwife said last chance to Push before forceps and dh remembers birth. Plus was only midwife and she asked dh to be ready to press alarm if nessersay to call in other staff but wasn't required.

Just forget it and move on. Haven’t you got other stuff to be worried/thinking about???

I honestly never thought about having a debrief . My first birthday was so long and full of interventions many which I have blanked out that I'm just greatfull myself and my baby came thro it, I certainly have no desire to relive it. With my second I just wanted to get thro it after tne first experience and have my baby safely in my arms. At tne end of tne day how they got here is not important, what's important is that they are here and alive.

@my2bundles which is great if you feel that way, and obviously delivering a healthy baby is the important part. However, it's important not to minimise women's experiences, the reason it is an optional service as some women have no desire to relieve it; but for some it helps get over what can be a physical and emotional trauma. The woman still matter in all of this, if it was any other medical procedure in which errors were made people wouldn't have the same attitude.

I had a traumatic delivery and forceps were used as baby's heart stopped mid delivery. They spent so much time asking for consent for everything (examination, forceps, episiotomy etc) that they didn't have time to do an episiotomy (had a lovely tear instead). I imagine they'd have mentioned it at the time from a consent point of view but it (understandably) didn't go in? I was totally aware of everything as had an epidural from the start so was all quite relaxed and nothing else to focus on. I had 2 midwives at one end telling me when to push and an obstetrician and paediatrician at the other end doing the necessaries.

I'd be surprised if it wasn't mentioned at the time but understand that you and your partner may not have registered it. Surprised it wasn't discussed at postnatal reviews though.

The main thing is that both of you are well and that's the bit to focus on