To request a photo ban at my wedding?

[Psychologika]

I am seriously thinking of asking people not to take photos of meat my upcoming wedding. For context, I am very overweight, which has happened over the past couple
Of years. Historically I have suffered with anorexia, and up until the last couple of years I have been fit and slim.

The wedding is very small, just DPs family and mine, with close friends coming to the pub after (second marriage for us both).

I'm absolutely dreading the wedding atm because I feel that I will be embarrassed by how I look, and I will have these photographs in perpetuity. The thought of them being on social media makes me feel sick.

Of course I'm happy for everyone to take photos of everyone else, just not of me. AIBU to request no photos of me and absolutely none on Facebook?

A BMI of 30 really isn’t bad at all.
And a BMI doesn’t tell the full story. It all depends on how you carry your weight.

I’m sure you have chosen a beautiful wedding dress that shows off your figure.

All that said if the people coming really know you and really love you then they will know about your past anorexia and know why you might ask for no pictures.

I didnt mean that last bit to sound bad by the way!! No-one would ridicule you on social media, i always think we view ourselves worse than what people actually see us like! Take lots of photos, store them away (or look and you may be pleasantly surprised) and one day the surprise of actually looking at them fir the first time will be amazing

YANBU to ask for a ban on photos.

Remember, you will be marrying the man you love surrounded by those who you love and love you in return.
They will not be looking at you and thinking that you're fat, instead, they will be looking at you as a beautiful bride where the happiness and love you feel for your husband to be will be shining through your smile and the sparkle in your eyes.

Enjoy your wedding. Have the time of your life celebrating the next, exciting chapter of your life.

I think it’s fine to ask people not to take photos. By the way, when you feel more yourself, you can always hire a wedding dress for the day and get some photos done then by a professional at a pretty location.

I think you would regret it in the long run. I think a social media ban is fine but I wouldn't ban photos of you altogether.

I know it's been suggested already, but I just want to reiterate the comment:

Request photos aren't shared on social media by all means. But please don't veto photos of you, you will want to see them in years to come, you're marrying the man you love. And you'll look amazing 😍

I'm also a pro photographer op and I agree with @Streamside - plus a good photographer will be able to take some lovely couple shots from flattering angles and give you some images to treasure that you just can't get from guests' phone snaps

Honestly, it's YOUR wedding so if people care about you and love you, they will respect your wishes and not take photos. You should ask, if this is truly what you want and are comfortable with.

I was fat when i got married, and while it didnt occur to me to not have a photographer i was nervous to see the photos. Honestly i was shocked and still remember how i felt to this day when i opened the photos, because i looked so happy, im not a cheesy person but i could almost feel the happiness coming out of the pictures

I would have loved to be one of those women that lost wieght to get married, but i didn't and in the end it didn’t make any difference.

Have a lovely wedding OP and an even better marriage

I spoke to DP about it and he said he would be really sad if I did this ☹️

Yes, I know this isn't nice but if something bad happened to you your husband would want to cherish those special moments and to think he wouldn't have any photos to look at from your special day would leave him feeling quite sad. Photos are such an important part of life, youre gonna look nice either way its your wedding day and you will look completely different to how you look in everyday life, you're not sat in frumpy old unflattering clothes showing rolls etc you will be in a nice dress/outfit and theres so much hustle and bustle, flowers, food, music, venue, decorations etc that your figure is not going to stand out at all to be honest. Orrr what you could do is just have one appointed person to take photos who you trust or just a photographer then they wont go on social media for sure

And it's not just photos of you, if you ban photos then that means your husband wont have photos with other important family members to him. Have the pictures, i think the regret will be worse than the feeling of having them and not loving them

Of course your dp would feel sad and so would your family they love you for you! Hopefully one day on the future you will be glad you didn't ban them.

I have wonky teeth and a bump on my nose that I hate. Got married last week and just got the photos last night. All I can see in them is how much I love my husband, how much he loves me, and what a wonderful time all our family and friends had. The teeth and nose don’t even figure in it.
YANBU to request people don’t share all over social media if you don’t feel comfortable with that - not everyone has to be a slave to Facebook! But I’d really think about what you and your husband would be missing out on if you swerved the photos entirely.

I've got a FB friend who is very overweight. I'd say about a size 30. She got married a couple of years ago and posted loads of photos. Yes shes big but we all know that. But that's not what stands out in the photos. The biggest thing that strikes you in the photos isnt her, its the smile she has on her face in every one. She was with family and friends marrying the love of her life and her size didnt matter in the slightest she looks fab shes so happy.

Dont ban photos. Let people take them then they're there. You might not want to look at them but one day in the future you might want to see how incredibly happy you were on the day

Please allow photos! To ban them, would be allowing your inner anorexic to win

One of the saddest things I read on here was a mum who felt too fat to get into a swimming costume and play with her kids at the beach and pool. Every holiday she sat on her own whilst Dad did the fun stuff and she took the photos. She said she had a catalogue of photos of other people with her children and none of her with them. Then one day they were too old to want to play with her.

Your Wedding day is a new life with a man you adore and adores you back. Please take lots of pictures. Get a professional in and ban other pics if you must but please take lots of pics.

You know there’s a fb setting that stops you being tagged without your approval?

@Work12 the proposed ban was of photos of me, certainly not of him or anyone else

@FatMe yes, I do. But you can still put pictures up and not tag. If my friends were to post a pic other friends we have in common would still see them

I absolutely hate people taking pictures of me and putting them on social media and if I were you I'd take the opportunity to ban it on my wedding day!
That said, you will almost certainly look absolutely lovely and I think you should have a few taken that you can keep for yourself.

I don’t normally do stuff like this and I have NC as I don’t want to put myself, but my BMI was 42 in this pic and I’m a size 22/24.

I had an amazing day, looked lovely and had nothing but lovely comments from social media.

Don’t allow your weight to limit you. It’s one tiny aspect of who you are and your loved ones adore you whatever size you are.

Oh bride you look absolutely gorgeous!

Oh yes, she does!

Bride looks fabulous. You can also spot the arm round her and the handholding. These are the stuff of warm memories in future.