Couples who call or text constantly

[newmomof1]

I have a number of friends/family members who I spend time with on a semi-regular basis (once a month or so).
To clarify, I spend time with them individually, not as a group.

There are a handful whose OH's seem to be in contact constantly, to the point where it interrupts our catch ups, or my friends/family member end up leaving earlier than planned (especially on nights out pre-baby).
Obviously you would expect that if someone wanted to chat to you they'd drop you a text and wait for a reply, however this is more "if you don't respond to my text within 5 minutes I'll call with the exact same thing to say".
It always seems to be the most trivial things too: can you pick me up something to eat on your way home / I'm going to order a new game / are you free a week on Wednesday?

The most recent example: a friend came to visit me and my new baby and her boyfriend phoned 3 times within the space of 2 hours. "Where are you? Well I can't hear the baby!" (She was asleep)
"Can you bring me something to eat back?"
"What time are you coming back?"

If me or my OH is out with friends, we will leave the other one alone until we're ready to talk! On a night out there might be a "hope you're having a good time - I'm going to bed. Call if you can't get a taxi and I'll pick you up" but that's it.

AIBU or are their partners super clingy?

Yanbu. This really annoys me and rude too.

Yanbu stage 5 klingons
My dh and I don't message each other when one of us is out with friends unless its an emergency

Urg, totally agree.

I don't bother my DH if he's out and if I'm out he will always text to say 'off to bed but phone is on, call when you want to come home I'll pick you up, even 3am still call'.

If he phoned while I was out I'd immediately think it's an emergency.

I don’t have any friends who do this, I’d find it very odd.

If out we will send each other texts to check in let the other know we are safe that's it though however oh calls on his work break everyday to say hello to me and our son because he leaves before we get up in the morning. I'd be very annoyed if I was out and he kept ringing me to ask to bring him food or stupid reasons like that it's rude

I don't have this at all with my friends, but my DH went on a weekend away with some friends recently, and the friend he was sharing a room with was constantly being contacted by his OH: 'what are you doing?' 'what did you have for dinner?' 'what are you doing tomorrow?' etc. And that's not including the texting back and forth. Yeah I don't get it: I asked DH to ring or text to let me know he arrived safely, and then another text let me know when he setting off for home.

I only have 1 friend like this. We rarely get to see each other and when we do her OH is onto her constantly and she ends up leaving early. I think this is because he's a controlling abusive dickhead.

Almost certainly controlling behaviour. I never text my DH, only for emergencies. Don't be annoyed by it, be concerned!

@SignedUpJust4This this is my thinking - the people who do get constantly hassled like this are the most vulnerable ones, all for different reasons. I'd hate to think they're being controlled or manipulated and that there's nothing I can do to help.
They seem happy in their relationships, but then they also see this behaviour as normal which is what bothers me.

My DH and I message a lot, though it's never a case of checking up on each other, more sending memes and funny stories 😂

Christ I hate it. Mr Noodle and I don't text at all usually (maybe the odd in-joke or urgent news) but generally we just talk when we see each other. My friend and I went out a couple of weeks ago - her first child and partnerless night in years and we had a heavy night, returning to mine in the small hours - and her fucking partner called at 7am! Wasnt even urgent but the sort of info that would stress someone out! He called repeatedly after that! I was fuming.

Oh gosh! We are constantly in touch too. Not checking up, but usually having a conversation about politics/family/economics or something. Today we texted about the political and historical context of Red Dead Redemption 2. When I’m with friends I check messages much less frequently (once or twice an hour) but he knows where I am. I don’t find it controlling? We are just chatterboxes who like to have debates. No one has ever mentioned it offends them, but my friends are similar I suppose.

I don’t know anyone like this thankfully but it would annoy me. I do have one friend though who when we’re out for a meal, will take photos of the food and send them to her DH and other family members. Nobody can start to eat until she’s gaffes about moving plates around so she can get everyone’s plates in the shot!

Faffs*

I just don't understand it either. Nothing is so important it can't wait.

Well obviously some things are but not most 😀

I was going to say YABU as my DH and I text each other a lot generally, however it’s more chatty when we’re bored and not busy.

If I’m out/he’s out it’s just the ‘have fun/text when you’re leaving/I’m going to bed’.

As PP have said the contact you describe could be indicative of controlling behaviour which would concern me.

some of them do it to show off how they have a close relationship.

I completely agree, until DS I worked away a lot and didn't speak to DH every day. I do message ever day now though but usually just with a picture of DS because I know it makes him smile even when work is stressful. Similarly he'll check in if DS has had an unsettled night, is poorly etc. I went for coffee with a friend on Monday and DH didn't even know until he got home from work and I mentioned I'd seen X . Whilst I agree it can be indicative of controlling behaviour, I know women the same, and couples who are exactly the same, constantly texting etc. I'd hazard a guess they are the same couples who see nothing odd about tracking your partner with find my iPhone etc

Can’t stand clingy couples. I also can’t stand the ones who think they’ll die if they don’t sit together on short flights. Never understood the need to be joined at the hip.

I hate this - so needy! I text my husband one a day maybe, or I will call him at lunch to speak to my son. Will send a text after work to let him know I’m on the way and if I have food or he needs to cook. That’s it.

There seems to be a bit of competition here about who can contact their DH the least we don't think twice about ringing each other if we have something to ask. Thank god our friends are casual enough not to get uptight because one of us rang to ask if we're free next Wednesday (presumably because they're also talking with a friend and wanting to make plans).

My DH and I message a lot, though it's never a case of checking up on each other, more sending memes and funny stories

Same but he wouldn't message or ring me when I'm out with friends and vice versa (unless it was important obviously

There seems to be a bit of competition here about who can contact their DH the least

Yeah it's odd

”Where are you? Well I can't hear the baby!"

That example would concern me more than annoy me.