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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can a child go the Drs without an adult?

45 replies

iamtinkabella · 20/06/2019 21:20

Sorry.. unfortunately this is not really an AIBU, but would be if i went into further details possibly.

So anyway.. my youngest DS who is 12 yo has confided in me that she feels she may have depression. I was suprised at the comment she made and we have had a large discussion about how she feels and that she can always talk to me no matter what (i am within the decade older than her). I feel so deeply sorry for her. She would like to go the doctors and speak to a GP but our DM is not much of a caring mother and she wouldn't want to go with her. I have, obviously, told her that i will go with her and be there for her but am unsure if i can go with her without our DMs consent? DF works very long hours and isn't someone you would
talk to about this although he is such a loving DF in many other ways. Can i go with my DS to the Drs without DM knowing?

Thank you for reading everyone and so sorry for the non AIBU!

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 20/06/2019 21:30

#my understanding from when I studied social work at university. It may have changed now however.

Yes they can, however not without the parents/guardianship consent. (However I’m unsure why, but she 14 is recalling from memory and I’m unsure why)

Parents need to give consent for a minor being seen by a GP, however they will Will not be privy to the consultancy.

However at the same time, I believe you cannot received treatment for an illness without parental consent.

Kungfupanda67 · 20/06/2019 21:31

My mum never came to the doctor with me after I started secondary school. Not in an uncaring way, I just didn’t need her to and it was round the corner from my school (which was quite a way from where we lived) so I used to phone and book my own appointments for the beginning or end of the school day.

So yes, kids can go to the doctor on their own

sashh · 20/06/2019 21:31

Yes you can, and you probably should. Great that you are looking out for your ds.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 20/06/2019 21:33

Blush my post... that’s what I get for trying to post and multitask at the same time

flumpybear · 20/06/2019 21:35

Well done for caring for your Dsis - please do go with her even if you stay in the waiting room
Good luck and I hope she changes trajectory in her life

Pixie2015 · 20/06/2019 21:35

Sounds like a good idea for her to discuss how she is feeling with a GP when you book the appointment might be worth letting the receptionist know it’s for depression in a young person and they might be able to direct you towards a GP with interest in mental health. Consider speaking to your parents too even if they can’t make the appointment they may be supportive

jellycatspyjamas · 20/06/2019 21:35

The law is different depending on where you are in the uk.

Pipandmum · 20/06/2019 21:36

Anyone, no matter their age, can make an appointment to see their GP as long as they are registered.
It would be kind to go with her, but if she wants to see the gp on her own let her. You do not need to tell your parents.

CherryPavlova · 20/06/2019 21:37

Yes she can. The GP will need to decide whether she is able to understand enough to give consent to any treatment and must encourage her to involve her mother but is able to deal directly with a child if those conditions are met.

CustardOmlet · 20/06/2019 21:38

Good Gilick/Fraser competent. If the child is deemed to have the capacity to understand their condition and the treatment they do not need parental consent - however good practice is to encourage parental involvement. At 12, and with the described insight in your OP I would suggest she probably has capacity.

Pixie2015 · 20/06/2019 21:39

There is no age limit to be seen alone by a GP it is about capacity/understanding

Disfordarkchocolate · 20/06/2019 21:43

This may be useful www.cqc.org.uk/guidance-providers/gps/nigels-surgery-8-gillick-competency-fraser-guidelines

Her GP may have information on their website about healthcare for teens, for example drop-in sessions and when they can see the GP on their own.

You sound a lovely Sister, good luck.

Booboostwo · 20/06/2019 21:44

There is no lower age limit for Gillick competence. She can certainly go to the GP without her parents. Depending on the circumstances the GP will make a judgement on whether she can be treated without involving her parents or whether they should be informed. Her parents cannot refuse her treatment that a medical professional judges to be appropriate.

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 20/06/2019 21:46

Thank you everyone for your comments so far and thank you for being so helpful and kind. I just want to support and help her a long the way to get treatment for this.

OP posts:
midsummabreak · 20/06/2019 21:47

iamtinkabella you are a lovely DS Flowers
It is a concern that you are certain you DM would not take her unwell child to the GP.

Trying to understand why your DM would not take her 12 year old to the GP...
Is your DM the type of parent who is not around much or is she dismissive of people living with mental health issues?

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 20/06/2019 21:50

@midsummabreak thank you that means a lot!
My DM is not a type to understand mental health but also does not hve sympathy in general towards anything. Dsis looks up to me a lot more than DM!

OP posts:
Original poster
iamtinkabella · 20/06/2019 21:52

have* sorry for typos in any of the post. I am trying to comfort DS she is quite emotional. She is usually such a strong person, my heart breaks for her.

OP posts:
midsummabreak · 20/06/2019 21:56

Flowers good on you for being the lifesaver for your DS who is feeling symptoms of depression
Sad for you that your Dm has not been able to be there for you either

midsummabreak · 20/06/2019 21:58

Your poor Ds FlowersBear
She is also going through puberty at 12 which doesnt help her whenshe is feeling so very sad

Hiphopopotamous · 20/06/2019 21:59

GP here- they can come alone but I'd much rather see a child accompanied by someone, especially with this sort of problem. Don't mind who it is though - aunt, older sibling, gran, friendly neighbour. Just so I know they have some support and someone to talk to. You don't have to stay for the whole consultation if they want to talk to me about something privately.

Original poster
iamtinkabella · 20/06/2019 22:02

@midsummabreak my aim is to make sure my younger siblings have the support they need through me now, which is comforting as i am the eldest so had nobody.

OP posts:
Original poster
iamtinkabella · 20/06/2019 22:03

@midsummabreak also yes, puberty is 100% playing a part. But it did with mine and escalated quite quickly. I am convinced hormones can make things worse in these cases!

OP posts:
Original poster
iamtinkabella · 20/06/2019 22:04

@Hiphopopotamous Thank you for replying to the thread! So would it be acceptable for me to go as support with my Dsis? I want her to seek professional help and she only really has me to go with her

OP posts:
midsummabreak · 20/06/2019 22:10

0808 800 5000

You or your DS can call the counselling line NSPCC
How old are your other sisters & brothers iamtinkabella

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