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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nursery sending DS home when he's not THAT sick

61 replies

opeo · 20/06/2019 15:28

He's been a bit under the weather all week, his temp a bit higher than usual and he's got a slight cough but he's okay in himself (otherwise I wouldn't have been sending him to nursery).
Today was the second time this week I'd been rang to say he's really unwell and to come and get him, I wasn't even able to get out of work today and had to make arrangements with a friend, the way it was worded made it sound like he was badly unwell and I was expecting my friend to call me and tell me to keep trying to get out of work to be able to get him home - but apparently he was fine, excitable even when he was picked up, asking to go to the park, his usual self (just with a slightly higher temp). He was also fine the other day when I was rang. You could tell he wasn't 100% but he wasn't ill enough to sit at home and rest all day etc, he wants to be out and up playing and stuff.
AIBU to feel that they're being a bit over cautious or something here? I'm left stressing about continuously taking time off work because he doesn't feel in 100% health (which would be a lovely and ideal situation but not when you're employed!)

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 20/06/2019 16:45

Children who are unwell act completely differently in childcare than they do at home and with a temperature that high he really should be at home and not at nursery spreading his germs.

Purpleartichoke · 20/06/2019 16:52

I’m in a different area and schools have legal mandated on health exclusions. We are not allowed to send a child to
School or nursery until temp has been below 38 without medication for 24 hours. Obviously parents try to get around this so schools end up having to call and have kids picked up once the meds wear off.

FreshlyRoastedCoffee · 20/06/2019 17:03

This is why we changed to a nanny - nurseries send children home the minute they are even slightly ill

But I have to say a temp of 38.5C I wouldn't have sent him in

Handletree · 20/06/2019 17:03

Wow, I am shocked that so Many nurseries are so keen to send children home because I have the opposite problem. My youngest seems to constantly catch colds or other viruses, have seen the doctor over it and no underlying problem, just unlucky. I give him calpol and send him in because he's fine. He's had a few days off where he was clearly too unwell and they once turned him away with conjunctivitis. The problem is that almost every illness he catches also gives him diarrhoea, runny eyes and a fever. So he has those symptoms roughly every two to three weeks. Nursery (attached to school) have been sending me official letters stating his attendance is too low and asking whether I wish to speak to the attendance officer. Also given me a copy of his register marks as though I don't already know when I haven't sent him in... If I stuck by the rules mentioned up thread he'd hardly ever be there!

adaline · 20/06/2019 17:05

38.5 is far too high!

poccadot · 20/06/2019 17:25

O

Lunde · 20/06/2019 17:39

38.5C/101F is a fever - they were correct to sent him home

MitziK · 20/06/2019 17:40

In old money, that's a temperature of over 101.

Febrile seizures are a thing from 100/38 upwards.

YABU. He's ill and needs to be home, not transmitting whatever he's got to the other children, staff and other parents.

Nodancingshoes · 20/06/2019 17:40

We always send children home with temps over 38. YABU

Putapeonyinyourpocket · 20/06/2019 17:45

In my experience nurseries will call if there is a raised temp this will be in their policies. If the child needs one to one because they are feeling poorly as well as having a temp then of course you will be called as settings run on ratio and you can't expect them to provide care for a sick children, they are not nurses. Children almost always perk up when collected, this is as frustrating for staff as it is parents. If a temp keeps reoccurring I would organise alternative child care until they are 100% well for nursery.

Bringonspring · 20/06/2019 17:45

Too high.

I pay for a nanny principally because I can’t send my children to nursery because mums like you send children who are unwell and they catch things

Starburst8 · 20/06/2019 18:31

A normal temperature in a child is 36.5 I think I'd be shocked if nursery didn't phone me if my boy had a temperature of 38.5
There's an outbreak of chickenpox going around so the nursery will be overcautious.
I agree with everyone else your child did have a high temperature and the nursery did right.

BettysLeftTentacle · 20/06/2019 18:37

OP a temperature of 38.5 isn’t a slight temperature, that’s a fever. If he’s behaving well in himself I wouldn’t give meds until it 39 but I certainly wouldn’t send them to school/childcare because they’re brewing something for sure.

AngeloMysterioso · 20/06/2019 18:38

I bet you’re one of those people who judges people who take time off work when they’re unwell for being “not THAT sick” aren’t you OP?

Bugsymalonemumof2 · 20/06/2019 18:42

Anything over 38 gets sent home here!

nespressowoo · 20/06/2019 21:45

My son gets like this then falls like a sack of potatoes. They did the right thing.

SinkGirl · 20/06/2019 21:53

You wouldn't get a temperature like that with just a cold.

Depends on the child - one of my twins gets awful temps with the slightest cold, he hit 40 at nursery once out of nowhere and was down to 38.2 by the time I arrived 10 mins later and 37 by the time we got home. He’s a strange one.

The other only gets temps when he’s very sick - just had chicken pox and went up to 40.9 even with calpol, scared me to death.

You’ll thank them in the long run - my twins nursery is not so cautious and we have been ill constantly on rotation since January.

Smurf123 · 20/06/2019 22:03

Yea you were very unreasonable to send him to nursery.. He has a fever and he is under the weather and he may seem happy enough at home with you but that can be because he has his mummy / daddy, his own toys, his own space and can relax / play as he wants
Plus the nursery staff won't want whatever it is he has and you don't know who might be extra vulnerable to illness that while it isn't making your son feel too ill might make someone else seriously ill or have big consequences. Please don't send your son to nursery or school when he is sick

Moonflower12 · 20/06/2019 22:32

Everywhere I've worked would send a child home with a temperature of 38.5 That is high.
If staff get poorly they are expected to be off work so as not to spread the infection but won't be paid for the time off.

bijoubijou · 21/06/2019 06:29

Yabu

Does he speak? Has he told you he’s fine?
The temp and cough say otherwise.
Not okay to be sending him and infecting other children when you don’t actually know what’s wrong with him.

I’d want to keep my child home to take care of them, can’t imagine it feels nice to be unwell and at nursery,

my2bundles · 21/06/2019 10:08

You shouldn't have sent him in. The staff cannot spend their time caring for poorly children, they have lots of other children to care for and supervise. In addition to that you are putting children and staff at risk, you would be the first to complain if nursery had to close next week because the staff where ill.

NCforpoo · 21/06/2019 10:21

I don't think OP is coming back...
But to add to the voices. 38.5 is high. And little kids never act ill until they're really really ill.
DD has in the past 3 months had slapped cheek (wouldn't be able to tell by looking except for the rash); chicken pox (ditto!); and 3 random "viruses" (ditto!) All with temps over 38. She wouldn't be going to nursery because she's ill! BUT at home she's playing like normal, maybe eating a tiny bit less, little bit more tired, temper a little bit shorter. We still went to the park (when no one else was there) and for some walks to get her (and me!) out of the house (avoiding others!)
The only virus that cause any complaint was one that made her tummy hurt.
DD was hospitalised twice when younger with bronchiolitis. Every nurse and junior dr who came in said " this child isnt ill!" Until they saw her oxygen levels.... She was very ill.
It's part of being a parent having to stay home with sick kids. It sucks but it's part of the job.

Teddybear45 · 21/06/2019 10:28

38 is a high temperature. Keep sending your son in when he has a high temperature and the nursery will involve social services.

BarbarianMum · 21/06/2019 10:30

38.5! How about you care for your sick child?

Merryoldgoat · 21/06/2019 10:41

You cannot send your child to a childcare provider with a temperature. That’s it.

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