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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want the dog trained?

48 replies

Worriedaboutdogg · 20/06/2019 10:56

I've got a 1 year old little boy and have family staying with us while their house is being renovated.

My mum has a 2 year old dog who loves children/babies and is quite excitable. She hasn't had any proper training.
My 1 year old can be quite rough with the dog. He doesn't understand that he has to be gentle with her and he pulls at her hair/ears and nips her. The dog puts up with it all and sits there calmly and quietly when he's touching her. She's never shown any signs of being annoyed or like she's going to bite etc. However I would rather she was either trained to only come over to my baby when invited so that whoever is holding him is ready to stop him pulling at her and hurting her or to be kept away from him until he's old enough to understand that he has to be gentle (the dog gets quite excited when she sees the baby and will come over to see him and gets as close as possible, she's a lovely dog but very excitable as she's so young).
My Mum has told me I'm being nuts and worrying too much. She's said I need to get help and I should let him play with her.
AIBU?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 20/06/2019 10:58

You could try training your child not to be rough with the dog and also make sure he doesn't get the chance to be rough with her.

adaline · 20/06/2019 10:59

You should be training your one year old not to treat the dog like that! He should absolutely not be allowed to pull at the dog - that's awful behaviour.

You're extremely lucky the dog hasn't reacted so far.

SoupDragon · 20/06/2019 10:59

he pulls at her hair/ears and nips her.

I mean, seriously! Parent your child - this is totally unacceptable. The dog is behaving brilliantly.

PineappleSeahorse · 20/06/2019 11:00

Why are you allowing your child to torment the dog? That's incredibly foolish and cruel, the dog shouldn't have to put up with being nipped and pulled. She isn't a toy.

PeoniesarePink · 20/06/2019 11:00

Your child needs training, not the dog Hmm

One day the dog won't put up with it, then there will be tears.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 20/06/2019 11:01

In the unlikely event that this isn't bait... train your bloody child. The dog is already putting up with enough.

PineappleSeahorse · 20/06/2019 11:01

Your Mother shouldn't be allowing it either.

Nicknacky · 20/06/2019 11:02

So basically your kid is allowed to torment the dog and if it eventually has enough and bites then it’s the dogs fault?

Or how about you stop your kid hurting the dog?!

Nesssie · 20/06/2019 11:03

The child and the dog should not be allowed to interact at all.
It is your responsibility as the parent to make sure your child cannot touch the dog.

You need to install baby gates and play pens immediately to separate the two.

LittleLongDog · 20/06/2019 11:04

Does the dog respond to it’s name? Sit/lie down/stay? Just ask your mum to call the dog to her if it’s being to excitable.

The main thing you need to do is teach your DC how to respect that the dog is an animal and treat it safely.

Sweetooth92 · 20/06/2019 11:05

Yeah the child needs teaching not the dog.
We have two young dalmatians and a toddler. He’s known from being 6-8 months old he had to be gentle to the dogs and not to pull on them.
You need to address this with your son now.
Before that poor dog looses it with his cruel behaviour and ends up being put down because you can’t parent properly

PregnantSea · 20/06/2019 11:06

That poor dog. OP you really need to step in when your child is treating the dog like this. You're very lucky that your mum's dog is so well-behaved - one day your son will do this to the wrong dog and could end up very seriously injured or worse. Please teach him now, before something serious happens.

MuthaFunka61 · 20/06/2019 11:07

Another who thinks it's a good idea for your child to learn about dogs and how to behave around them. At the same time the dog needs to be taught that they only approach when invited.
As both the child and the dog are young this'll be a challenge for all but good luck.

FizzyGreenWater · 20/06/2019 11:07

WTF, are you serious? You bloody keep your child away from the dog!

An accident waiting to happen - and it's your BABY that will be injured.

PARENT.

ButterMyBiscuit · 20/06/2019 11:08

You are the problem here, not the poor dog!

ChihuahuaMummy1 · 20/06/2019 11:08

Sorry yabu.If the dog bites your child when getting its ears pulled etc it's not a training thing it's an instinct!

DearTeddyRobinson · 20/06/2019 11:10

I call reverse. Surely no parent would be this reckless?

HideousOrangeDress · 20/06/2019 11:11

FFS - stop your child from pulling at the dog.

When she finally has enough of being manhandled and bites your son, you will be back on here screeching that the dog needs to be euthanised.

BumandChips · 20/06/2019 11:11

Are you just waiting for the dog to bite your child when it’s had enough?

Original poster
Worriedaboutdogg · 20/06/2019 11:11

Sorry, really didn't word this well. My child isn't allowed to pull at her etc. When he's been allowed to touch her that's what he's done (and been immediately told 'no' and taken away from the dog). I'm trying very hard to teach him 'no' and trying to teach him to be gentle with teddies etc.
What I mean by training the dog is training her not to come over to him before we're able to stop him being rough with her, not training her to put up with it. I don't want her to get hurt and I don't want her to snap.

OP posts:
helen650 · 20/06/2019 11:13

You let your child nip a dog?! Sorry but I think you need training. It’s a good lesson to start teaching your 1 year old to be gentle around all animals. Then of course the dog shouldn’t be left with the baby. It’s not hard we’ve had dogs and babies and you just need to remember they are animals.

Original poster
Worriedaboutdogg · 20/06/2019 11:15

@Sweetooth92 Do you have any tips? He's very rarely around the dog as she doesn't know to stay away so I tend to keep him in another room. Telling him 'no' and taking him hands off her doesn't seem to be getting through.

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedaboutdogg · 20/06/2019 11:16

@helen650 Yes of course. I completely respect the dog. She's lovely. Do you have any tips?

OP posts:
adaline · 20/06/2019 11:18

If your child can't be trusted around the dog then you 100% need to keep them separate, for both their sakes. The dog sounds incredibly tolerant but if you continue to allow your child to be rough, then the dog will eventually have enough and react - that could be growling, an air snap, a warning nip/mouthe or a bite.

If that happens, it will be the dog that suffers. So many dogs are expected to put up with rough treatment from children and then when they react (because they're bloody fed up/pissed off) we rehome them or put them to sleep - even though their behaviour is totally reasonable given the circumstances.

If your child won't listen, keep them away from the dog. Or, put the dog on a house lead/line so they can be kept away from the child.

Sweetooth92 · 20/06/2019 11:19

We did lots of practise stroking his teddies and teaching him the word “gentle”
So lots of stroking him going ah, gentle, holding his hand to stroke them and going ah, gentle. As soon as he got any rougher he would be told no and we removed him from the situation. It was tedious for a week or so but he did learn quickly that he didn’t get to be near them if he wasn’t kind. He isn’t allowed to grab at any of them-so no ears, tail etc or he is removed as above. He now knows to let them come to him and to be gentle. Just be persistent, over the top with praise and strict with removing him and it’ll come together

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