Fed up with friends taking the pee. Aibu?

[dragonflyflew]

I have a health condition which causes pain and fatigue. Through years of stress and depression and medication changes, disability etc I found that a diet completely free from meat and dairy really helps and gives me energy etc
I try really hard to follow this diet and for a while was completely vegan but I’ve found it hard to maintain and I have occasional slips so have stopped calling myself vegan as it feels dishonest although I still eat primarily plant based and follow lots of vegan groups and buy vegan products.
As an aside, I also try and do volunteering when I can, low level community and eco stuff and some politics...I don’t constantly talk about any of this.
I have a group of friends who are constantly taking the piss out of my being a fake vegan, bloody do-Gooder and most recently a self righteous cunt.
This really hurts my feelings and I find it hard to defend myself as it’s all said with ‘love’ and ‘fondness’ and we’re only joking...
It’s also tricky as I’d only recently become friends again with one of the group as I’d got so sick of her putting me down.
I recently told one I found it a bit much when she sent me pics (unsolicited) of strangers’ cocks (men she is dating/chatting to) and I know I have a reputation for being defensive/ standing up for myself so I am treated like a prickly and oversensitive twat.
I’ve now muted the group chat we’re in (as clearly has another friend) but I don’t know if I should say something or not. I feel they’re trampling on my boundaries, I’m nothing but kind to them and would never pick on their foibles etc especially not in a shared arena.
This morning there was yet another poke ‘at least he’s not a fake veggie like dragon’ and I just ignored it.
The cock pics felt quite offensive and this constant tirade about my eating habits is just boring but also upsetting as they know how much my health impacts on my life
Would you say something or am I being prefabs a self righteous cunt?
Aibu to mute them not want to face this crap on a daily basis?

Look I've said it, others have said but you keep going on about addressing it.
If you carry on like this you are continu6the drama and making yourself the target because you are continuing to let it happen.

Just blocked get yourself a life.
Proper friends dont mock dietary preferences, or take the piss.

Theres not much that can be added as everyone is saying the same thing and other poster will say the same.
Its up to you to decide if you want people taking the piss out of you or not.
I know what I would choose but it's your call. No point not changing anything and whining about it in 3 months time that friends are mean.

I would block them all and cut them out, genuinely. I'd ignore them if they tried to speak to me. I'd make new friends.

Thank you everyone. Interesting how much reasonable thought there is on here. I’m obviously very warped by what I’ve allowed over the years! This has given me a real insight into how mean and dishonest my friend is, interestingly I knew this really and have observed it in her relationships with others. Incidentally when she lodged with me I asked her to leave because of this very behaviour. We salvaged a friendship from it because we have ‘history’ and she can be fun to go out with etc (when I think about it she’s only fun when it’s going ‘her’ way...)
Whenever I post anything on soc media she or other friend find a way to link it back to veganism, this other friend is quite new to the group, I don’t think she’s mean per se but she’s trying to fit n and I think sees this as the group patten and just gone with it (not an excuse)
Anyway, it’s made me feel less ‘safe’ around them and I’ll be distancing now I’ve said my piece, at least it’ll be clear to them now why I’ve backed off.
Her lying about not knowing is really the last straw, she knew, we discussed it and I’d feedback on how it was impacting my condition etc, she’s completely blown her cover now in terms of dishonesty!
I have a very busy and demanding life and am in an ldr so I don’t have much time to call my own so losing out on this group won’t impact me too much, just habit and familiarity I guess.
But as someone said upthread, the familiarity isn’t necessarily a healthy association with my past!
Another aside, two of the women have mums exactly like mine give us part of what bonded us, if I was American I’d say ‘go figure’!

People are vile, you sound sensible changing your diet to help your health issues, she know why if shes lived with you. As for the dick pics, I'm liberal minded, like a laugh, a drink, a raunchy-ish girly convo but looking at dick pics, NO, MY EYES! vile looking things, much better in the dark under the duvet! I really wouldn't be happy with that, no Pinotjo' eye to japs eye for me!

You sound like you're intelligent, have a strong moral compass, and strong ethics.

They do not. They sound like the opposite of you.

So I think that the relationship (I'm not going to say friendship), may well and truly have run its course. Onwards and upwards, leave them to wallow in their slops!

Pinotjo I’m also pretty liberal and I didn’t don’t actually mind a dick pic but only if it’s a dick I’m actually involved with. I’ve told her more than once I don’t like it and in the group message recently she joked how much she enjoys ‘baiting the vegan’
I feel so much better now I’ve shared this here and realising that once again, my boundaries are askew!

These people make you unhappy. What are you getting out of this "friendship"? Even if they are just joking around, you don't find it funny so they clearly don't share the same sense of humour as you.

I would gradually move away from these people and make some new friends.

It sometimes takes someone on the outside (or a bunch of strangers on MN ) to make you realise that you're flogging a dead horse.

I was in a watsapp group with some not so close friends and they were all single (I am married) and would very regularly post dickpics and screenshots of sexually explicit messages from their latest conquests. In the end I just left the group. Firstly, I don't want to see that shit. It's pathetic and depressing. Secondly, I felt it was really unfair on my lovely DH that I had a load of pictures of other men's penises on my phone. I wouldn't like it if I found pictures of other women on his phone.

The whole thing sounds like a bunch of teenage girls pissing about trying to impress each other and one up each other. Bin them off OP.

Once you've put them all on mute/discreetly block them from your feed, they will take up dramatically less of your head space and you will feel so much better.

Sending penis pictures is just disgusting.
They sound absolutely ghastly.

Real friends lift you up and support you. They don’t insult you and belittle you. No need for a big showdown or exit, they’ll never learn anything from it, just quietly walk away.

'I'm leaving the group because I am not interested in continuing to be the butt of everyone's jokes. It's nasty and I thought better of you. Goodbye'.

'Hello everyone.
I'm going to leave this group now as I'm fed up with being picked apart. I don't find it funny, I find it really hurtful.
Anymore digs about my diet on Facebook, which is health based btw, will be unfriended.
I don't need this shit in my life.
Bye.'

I don't think these are your crowd at all...
I personally think you should gradually phase them out. Don't have a big fall out, or give them any more ammo, just gradually reduce contact over time. Be "busy" when they ask you to do stuff, and speak to them less often, until you're just posting "happy birthday" on facebook walls and that's all.
...and meanwhile get some nicer/gentler friends that you actually like and make you feel good!

They’re openly belittling you in a chat group?! Get out of it, just walk away. They are not friends with you.

IhaveALooBrush

'Hello everyone*
I'm going to leave this group now as I'm fed up with being picked apart. I don't find it funny, I find it really hurtful.
Anymore digs about my diet on Facebook, which is health based btw, will be unfriended.
I don't need this shit in my life.
Bye.'
I woukdnt waste my energy tbh.
It would only give them something else to bitch and gossip about.

I've recently X'd someone who was supposedly a friend but in reality enjoyed it when I was having a hard time, constantly tried to make out my child was a halfwit whereas hers was a genius and implied I'd googled myself ill with a serious condition.

Get rid of these awful sounding twats. You won't look back.

Sharing nude pics/ intimate pics without permission from the person in the pics is illegal.

Cut them out and get new friends. You don't need this.

Thank you folks, I have definitely got to expand my friendship group! I still can’t believe that the main one lied by way of apology and still managed to get in ‘I didn’t realise that it was for health reasons, I just thought you were a cunt’ ...
this stuff never really registers with me but today it’s finally got to me. She is much taller than me, I’m very small and she introduces me to friends as ‘her primordial dwarf’ I have never found it funny but it’s always in front of strangers and I’d feel awkward challenging it.
I have put up with a lot of her shit partly because she has huge issues about being rejected and takes it very personally , I won’t go into detail here but I’ve seen her do some very mean things in order to boost her self esteem and I’ve excused it and tried to support and reason with her when she’s been broken hearted by yet another family/friend or lover rejection.
She recently did something that I found quite abusive to a young guy in her home and subsequently shared with our group...
She’s very well known in our area and offers a very popular service so we have so many mutual friends and live close by it would be nigh on impossible to block her out completely but fortunately she’s kept very busy by tinder and the owners of the varying sizes and shapes of penii.

she has huge issues about being rejected and takes it very personally

Good. I hope she gets as hurt as she has hurt you. The things she has said and done to you are utterly inexcusable.

'Primordial dwarf'? Excuse me?!

No one who called me a 'self-righteous cunt' would remain a friend of mine for very long. Time to start looking for better friends, OP.

PregnantSea yes i agree, it’s also disrespectful to my relationship and to the man I’m seeing. I def wouldn’t like it reversed but I’m also pretty sure that his friends wouldn’t share that kinda stuff in the same way (we’re all in our 40s!)
Sadly, the one who apologised is genuinely lovely and I’m sure she’s just trying to find her ‘fit’ in the group but she has always known about my health and diet and her best friend also has same condition so she does understand how much it affects me.
I’m def going to phase out as it’s really affected me this week. I know it comes as direct retaliation for my anti dick pic stance and I don’t need relationships like that. now I’ve made my feelings clear it won’t come as any surprise to any of them!

fierybiscuits there’s also been issues around my child especially when we lived together!

mbosnz my size is also related to my disability it gets better and better doesn’t it?!

pasturesgreen , self righteous cunt happened on Monday, after I’d said no to the dick pics...over the weekend she’s sent pics (clothed) of a guy in her house who was refusing to have sex with her, i found it upsetting and I know if a guy had done this I’d be absolutely horrified so I started to really question myself too, you’re known by the company you keep an I really don’t want to be associated with something so rapey and distasteful. He was much younger than her (not indecently so) but it felt horrible dressed up as funny bants. that’s when I really started to question my reasons for staying friends with her...Because of my lifetime habit of continuously poor boundary setting it takes me much longer than most to end toxic relationships!

Um, I'm not generally a violent person, but this little madam is getting me right riled.

That is out and out disgusting.

(In the interests of full disclosure, I had a friend with a daughter who was a little person - if someone said that to her I'd be wanting to hand them what little was left of their teeth, once I'd picked them out of the gutter. . .)

Haha! She is def a madam! It’s all said with a smile a laugh and a flourish, she’s very entertaining which is why she gets away with so much