Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to meet a man

32 replies

Nameisthegame · 19/06/2019 22:47

I’ve been split from my ex for 7 months after a 8 year relationship, how did you meet your partner? I met my ex drunkish at a protest but now have dd 2 years so not really drinking. Joined bumble dating but so far only smutty messages.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameisthegame · 19/06/2019 22:48

Anyone got a lovely brother or sister in Spain? Jks but seriously

OP posts:
artio0 · 19/06/2019 23:14

I met my partner drunkish at a pub but if was still single I think I'd volunteer somewhere and hoped to bump into a a kind and caring single man :D...

OralBElectricToothbrush · 19/06/2019 23:20

I'm married to an asexual man who agreed he'd rather I just play away than split. For some reason, I have no shortage of sex partners including one long-term one (would never, ever marry or live with another man in my life again, though, nor would he with a woman), some seem to find it very attractive to be with someone who will never put any pressure on them to have a live-in relationship or marriage (hell to the no! even if my h dropped dead).

Swellerellamoo · 19/06/2019 23:27

Well I think it all starts with a good bit of internet swiping to be honest - tinder is actually superfun, just block the smutty responses and have fun messaging people you think look cute. Then you will be amazed at how attractive you are to many, many men and will consequently meet someone lovely while living your authentic life . Cheers!Wine

Original poster
Nameisthegame · 19/06/2019 23:29

I was in a open relationship and only had 2 rules don’t f best friend and no dates he f my best friend 😩 so I now want The Who,e thing marriage commitment etc but where is it located?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameisthegame · 19/06/2019 23:30

I’m having trouble with my mobile otherwise I would have joined tinder long ago lol

OP posts:
EAIOU · 19/06/2019 23:35

I agree to the pubs. Easier to conversate, not drowned out by loud music etc also keeps it casual.

Easier to meet people in these type situations. Can't speak for online dating though, never tried it and was always too scared 😂

Good luck OP, be brave and get back into the dating scene!

aPengTing · 19/06/2019 23:36

You’ve only been split 7 months, just concentrate on helping your child adjust and feel secure for now.

OralBElectricToothbrush · 19/06/2019 23:39

I think this early on you really need to focus on creating a family with your child and on yourself and your self esteem and goals and not on a relationship with a guy.

Original poster
Nameisthegame · 19/06/2019 23:39

I don’t expect to be in a relationship for a year or two but I think like flats your best start searching early...also currently Lin even in sthe same flat but diff rooms from ex so dd is not suffering

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameisthegame · 19/06/2019 23:41

Jeez I live in a foreign country with basic language the likely hood of finding my one guy is low. I’ve so far found a job organized daycare and started my own business I am sorting myself out so why can’t I have a long time goal of getting married eventually to someone who I care about?

OP posts:
aPengTing · 19/06/2019 23:44

You sound like you have an unhealthy need to be in a relationship. You really should slow down.

SuperSara · 19/06/2019 23:52

@aPengTing I could not agree more.

Howlovely · 20/06/2019 00:00

How patronising some PPs are. How on earth do internet strangers think they know better than the OP if she deserves and is ready to look for love again? Is there an official period of mourning after splitting with a partner that must be adhered to? I'm sure she's got enough about her to make sure her child is safe, protected and loved.
OP I would recommend online dating, think it's the only way to go these days. Very best of luck x

Original poster
Nameisthegame · 20/06/2019 01:00

Thanks @Howlovely
I was aiming for 1 to 2 years to meet someone but seems mn has spoken so how long then 5,10 or forever am I meant to be single. I’ll keep searching the world for my love.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameisthegame · 20/06/2019 01:01

I don’t need to be in a relationship but I’d like one, I enjoy having a intellectual match to call my own.

OP posts:
Seren85 · 20/06/2019 01:05

The problem with your question is that there is no answer. I met my DH at school, my sister met a bloke in the pub and went home with him and that was that. One of my best mates did OLD and now they've bought a house, another went to some local history group that went for a drink and they've two kids, work mates who were both married to other people. It goes on. Just be open to it, try various avenues, don't try to force it.

SkinnyPete · 20/06/2019 01:09

I was aiming for 1 to 2 years to meet someone but seems mn has spoken so how long then 5,10 or forever am I meant to be single.

Whenever you feel you're ready, not the Mumsnet scorned benchmark. You're last relationship is over, for the love of God please have some fun!!

Original poster
Nameisthegame · 20/06/2019 01:11

Okay thank you 😊 I think I just needed to hear that not everyone got drunk at a party like how ai met my ex’s, I don’t really know anyone who’s dating anyone who didn’t meet at a bar.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nameisthegame · 20/06/2019 01:13

@SkinnyPete thank you! Feeling a bit attacked here it’s not even like there’s anyone I even fancy yet my dd is in no danger and I am working on myself as well. I just don’t want my forever to be alone. On the upside my nana met her second husband at 50? And they’ve been happy together for 30 years already x

OP posts:
Seren85 · 20/06/2019 01:27

I remember splitting up with my ex (DH did meet at school but there were a few years in between) and suddenly looking at every bloke who came into work to fix a light or who was politely smiling on the train and wondering if this was my big love story. I must have reeked of desperation. Gave up on the fact the fairy tale, met a few blokes in bars and shops and at gigs.

Anarchyshake · 20/06/2019 02:38

Met my OH on POF, by accident because I had no intention of getting involved with anyone for hook ups or more. I was isolated and needed to talk to people. And maybe I'll admit to needing the attention I sometimes got.

We got talking over time because we shared interests and it turned out we had friends in common too. By the time it came to an event we had planned to go to together as friends, we were already seeing each other.

I've met exes online, on forums, in work places, at a playground when we were both taking our kids out, at college, at gigs, at a hobby....... You can meet a person anywhere, though it's harder when you have children.

VivienneHolt · 20/06/2019 06:28

People are being twats - you don’t need some sneery internet stranger to tell you you aren’t ready for a relationship and need to prioritise your daughter ffs! Don’t know why people can’t accept that you’re the person who knows best what you want in your life and what your daughter needs.

herculepoirot2 · 20/06/2019 06:35

MN is famous for its contempt of single mums who date. OP; don’t worry.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 20/06/2019 09:24

Come join us on the dating thread over on relationships board. Current thread is 62. A friendly bunch of folk who are swiping away on the dating apps Smile