To not know how to feed my family

[WhenZogateSuperworm]

I am a terrible cook and have had issues with food and eating in the past so find that I can have no motivation or inspiration in the kitchen.

I’ve got a 2.5 year old and am on maternity leave with a newborn so all the cooking falls to me as DH doesn’t usually get home until 7pm. Toddler is fussy, I am also fussy but DH will eat anything.

Please help me with some ideas (I will need ingredients and instructions) that I can cook. I really want to be able to put a decent meal on the table every evening but am failing miserably.

As a starting point things my toddler will eat are;

Pasta
Meatballs
Fish fingers
Chicken nuggets
Potato
Sausages
Carrots
Peas
Green beans
Pizza
Ham sandwiches
Stir fry (the noodles and veg only)

Me and DH will eat on rotation;
Pie and mash (shop bought as I can’t make my own!)
Pizza
Sausage and mash
Lasagne
Spaghetti with either smoked salmon, bolgnaise or meatballs
Fish and potatoes
Hunters chicken
Chicken noodle stir fry

Ideas that can be made at 5:30 for me and the toddler and then reheated at 7:30 for DH would be great. I have a slow cooker but toddler won’t eat anything in a sauce so it rarely gets used!

I’d say that’s a pretty good list actually!

Maybe some salads with quiche or fish for a lighter option? If summer ever gets here, salads are a super easy option.

I don’t eat any salad or vegetables and DH won’t touch salad or eggs- so that rules out quiche!

That’s a pretty solid list for a toddler so I really wouldn’t worry.

In a non judgy way though you really need to get over the vegetable thing somehow for you and for setting an example. Have you seen anyone about it?

That doesn't look a bad list, tbh.

We liked Jamie Oliver's ministry of food cookbook - ideas with variations on a theme.

We find food a chore, esp with fussy DC, so I get where you are coming from.

So sorry about your eating issues!

Have you tried Annabel Karmel’s cook books, especially the finger food and toddler ones?

My youngest was terrible fussy, but really liked the fish cakes (as did my husband), and the curry (my husband loved this, maybe you could try even if it is sauce?), some homemade fish fingers were really yummy (with Parmesan and cornflakes around) and I think there were others....

Don’t worry about being a bad cook, I did these and followed the instructions and it went quite well . I need very strict guidance in order to produce edible food.

Are there no vegetables that you like? Even cooked ones?

I know what you mean about your toddler now wanting to eat things with sauces - that’s quite common - toddlers like their food to be all separate so they know what they are eating. I think it’s a prehistoric survival thing - learning what is safe to eat, etc.

If you like stir fried noodles you could try teriyaki salmon with rice or fried rice made with no egg (sweet corn, peas, spring onions, etc).

Sorry - that was meant to say “not wanting”

Burgers, I don't make them myself but do buy decent ones from a butcher

Something even my very fussy toddlers like are the "maggi" papers for chicken, especially the garlic ones. I usually do it as part of a salad with pita bread but you can do something else. They're delicious.

Chilli con carne is another winner. I usually fry the mince, garlic and onions and then throw everything in slow cooker.

I find to be a good candidate for reheating, things really need to be in some kind of sauce so I would maybe forget that idea and instead perhaps try to work around ideas where you can halve the prep?

So for example:

Make something like a stir fry or curry for you and DH which involves meat, vegetables and sauce. Prep it at 5, put aside some of the vegetables for the toddler (steam/boil them) and a smaller piece of meat/fish, which you can just do quickly in the grill, oven, or a frying pan. Or serve him the vegetables with fish fingers or chicken nuggets. While the toddler's food is cooking you can either cook your own meal to reheat later or leave the vegetables, meat etc to marinade in spices etc, and finish it off later at 7 - either you or DH doing the finishing step. You have a cup of tea and a biscuit or a piece of fruit, or a sandwich (breastfeeding hunger is real) with DS so he doesn't eat alone but then have dinner later with DH.

I find websites and apps quite good for recipes. Try BBC Good Food, or go on Pinterest and type in ingredients that you have and then see which pictures look tasty.

But if you're after a simple cookbook for the basics, I agree with Ministry of Food and then the other ones I've got basic skills from are Student cookbooks (absolutely any student cookbook, look at charity shops) and this book which I heard about on MN years ago and has been useful ever since: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00C1CTLTQ/?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I don't think there is any shame in having separate meals while they're little and my main thought would be - honestly - is there a need to suddenly change this now?? Your list of rotated meals sounds absolutely fine. Your toddler's list of foods has a range of things and they are all easy to cook and nothing is standing out as shockingly unhealthy about it. I would highly recommend to you Bird's Eye steam fresh bags, because they taste nothing like wet awful frozen veg and they are really easy to do. But otherwise, why change a system that's working? I'd go with the flow and path of least resistance for the moment. Once the baby starts weaning and eating family food then it might be worth looking at again. But I certainly wouldn't be stressing about it now.

So this week I’ve made three easy dinners out of the Sainsbury’s magazine.. to copy and paste is a bit long winded - but all were easy and cheap to make...

Try buying magazines and looking at the weekday dinners for inspiration

In a non judgy way though you really need to get over the vegetable thing somehow for you and for setting an example. Have you seen anyone about it?

Who do you go and see if you don't like vegetables?

OP, have you tried Youtube?

There are loads of very simple cooking tutorials on there.

Ah so much you can make and simple things too. You could start using jars (this is what I did) dolmio, homepride, chicken tonight. Build your confidence & then get on google for recipes to home cook the things you like. I'm 20 years on (I didn't use google initially obviously 😂) now I am not just a confident cook but a really good one. You can do it OP.

There’s a Fay Ripley book that has lots of good recipes. The basis is that each recipe will feed the whole family, and you can take out portions at different times for different needs, eg before spices, salt and grownup flavours to purée for a baby, a bit more flavour/texture for toddlers or fussy eaters, then tittivating it up to make it more adult. One dish for all with slight variations that are easy to do. Fay’s Family Food or something? Used it loads when my boys were young and still often cook some of the recipes but just the grown up version now.

Cottage pie sounds like something your toddler would like, and could be reheated.
Poached salmon, new potatoes and veg. Or salmon with potato salad and coleslaw.

I mostly give our son buffet style dinner. I get a plate with bits and he eats so well. Sometimes I make a jacket potato or a small chicken breast etc.
He is now 13 but he has been eating like this since he was a baby.
I put whatever I can think of sweet corn, sushi, small soup, fish, salad, crab sticks.
For your husband maybe chile con carne and rice. Tacos?

I am not promoting but we have tried hello fresh and also gusto cook boxes and I think they are great (although a little expensive but the welcome offers are good) they send you all the ingredients and instructions how to cook step by step with pictures, even my 7 year old son can follow them. I tend to get a box when I'm stuck in a rut and gives me new ideas or different and healthier meals!

Delia's How To Cook was in its day hailed as the best book for anyone who didn't know how to cook, it's now online, there are videos as well as recipes, hope there's something there for you OP.
www.deliaonline.com/learn-to-cook

Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

I do sometimes eat two dinners, a small one with DS and then my main one with DH later!

I can’t eat vegetables, i’ve tackled all the other food areas I wouldn’t eat but vegetables I just can’t do.

Chicken Soup?

Roast dinner

Tacos

I wouldn't worry too much about the lack of vegetables. My son has never eaten a vegetable in his life and he is very fit and healthy at 30.

I like tray bakes. You can cook it all together then just eat the things you like and then reheat with extra vegetables on the side for DH:

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2411639/lemon-and-oregano-chicken-traybake
www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/cumberland_sausage_59571

What is it about vegetables that you can’t do? Is that every single veg from cucumber to lentils? Because it’s not one big group with the same taste and texture - they can be very different.

Puréed squash, or carrot mixed into the mash would be a start.

Yes to tray bakes and one pot wonders. I do most family meals in one pot or tray, there are endless variants from a pot roast joint of beef to a massaman curry.

I am currently counting down to holidays and eating up the fridge and freezer. Every day will be a dinner made from odds and sods. Cola gammon tonight, just need to get a bottle of coke from the Tesco express later. Pinch of Nom website do loads of slimmer friendly but very tasty one pot recipes.