To not know how to feed my family

[WhenZogateSuperworm]

I am a terrible cook and have had issues with food and eating in the past so find that I can have no motivation or inspiration in the kitchen.

I’ve got a 2.5 year old and am on maternity leave with a newborn so all the cooking falls to me as DH doesn’t usually get home until 7pm. Toddler is fussy, I am also fussy but DH will eat anything.

Please help me with some ideas (I will need ingredients and instructions) that I can cook. I really want to be able to put a decent meal on the table every evening but am failing miserably.

As a starting point things my toddler will eat are;

Pasta
Meatballs
Fish fingers
Chicken nuggets
Potato
Sausages
Carrots
Peas
Green beans
Pizza
Ham sandwiches
Stir fry (the noodles and veg only)

Me and DH will eat on rotation;
Pie and mash (shop bought as I can’t make my own!)
Pizza
Sausage and mash
Lasagne
Spaghetti with either smoked salmon, bolgnaise or meatballs
Fish and potatoes
Hunters chicken
Chicken noodle stir fry

Ideas that can be made at 5:30 for me and the toddler and then reheated at 7:30 for DH would be great. I have a slow cooker but toddler won’t eat anything in a sauce so it rarely gets used!

Could you try recipes with hidden vegetables? I started making these when my eldest was a baby and now the whole family eats them: www.annabelkarmel.com/recipes/chicken-apple-balls/

I also find my veggie resistant kids prefer roasted veggies to boiled ones, and try to add veggies to everything (ie grating carrot into spaghetti bolognaise)

Other super easy and quick meals popular around here include:

• salmon fish cakes (if you make your own batch cook as they’re just as good from the freezer)
• chicken fajitas/chicken wraps. Good for fussy ones because they can pick and choose which bits they add

-ham and pea pasta with cheese sauce. Add roasted broccoli or cauliflower to bulk up the veggies.

• sausages and frozen Yorkshire puddings
• home made pizza (again let them add their own toppings. My son actually tried his first olive this way (and ended up liking them) because it was the only round thing we had to use as eyes for his ‘face’ pizza). You can even buy ready made bases so you just have to add cheese, tomato purée and toppings.

-jacket potatoes

Also let your son help you in the kitchen, if you can cope with the mess. Even if it’s just buttering his own toast, he’s more likely to eat it if he’s proud that he did it himself!

I would second putting grated carrot into things like bolognese not so much for the vegetablyness of it but because it does lighten the texture, making it less dense.

For your fussy 2.5 year old have you tried them involving in any food prep? Breadmaking/shaping springs to mind plus you can both feed the results to your unfussy DH!

I've been told I should write a 'cheat at cooking' book. I love to cook but disability has made it harder.

OK CHicken and mushroom casserole. I use a slow cooker but you could put it in the oven for 45 mins.

2 chicken breasts cut into chunks (or buy the mini fillets and cut in two).
I jar Campbell's condensed soup
3 mushrooms sliced
1 leek sliced - or a hand full of frozen leeks

Put everything in the slow cooker on high or in a casserole dish and put in the oven for 45 mins. If you are cooking in the oven check after 20 mins, if there isn't much liquid then add a bit of boiling water.

Serve with rice or potatoes

If you do it in a slow cooker then you can feed the toddler and then leave it on 'warm' for when dh comes home.

If you buy a packet of rolled puff pastry and make a double batch then put the leftover in a foil pie tin or two and top with the puffed pastry - freeze for pie another day.

To get the pastry top the right size put the (empty foil) upside down on the rolled out pastry, and use a butter knife to cut about 1 cm around the tin - don't worry if it is a bit raggy.

You can add or remove different veg to try.

On the veg front have you tried chip sor wedges? Make exactly as you would with potatoes but use sweet potatoes, carrots and parsnips.

Sorry but the blanket 'I don't eat vegetables' is silly when you list jacket potato and mash as food you eat! What do you think potatoes are!

So you DO eat vegetables. So all you need to is expand your range. Bake a sweet potato instead of a normal one for example.

Do you ever have a full English with baked beans?

DD likes risotto and corn on the cob goes down pretty well

How about stew? Will you eat finely cut vegetables in a one-pot dish like that? Can you cook it? Why don't you try and master a couple of one-pot dishes that can incorporate hidden veg, be reheated for your DH, and also be frozen?

How about blending the veggies into tomato sauce, the sweetness means that even fussy toddlers like it, the sauce with hidden veg can be used with pasta, cook sausages in it, to make the base for shepherds pie, add spices for a chilli. But to be brutally honest, if you want your toddler to eat well you need to get over the vegetable dislike yourself, vegetables come in so many shapes and sizes and textures, surely you eat some or you will be risking all kinds of long term health issues

Personally, I would make the fresh meal for you and DH for 7.30 and then give leftovers to DC the following day. Toddler won't be fussy about what's reheated so that will give you more options.

I struggle with this too OP. I hate cooking more than any other chore. I’m really uninventive and often need step by step instructions. Two fussy toddlers and a DH with the most underdeveloped palate you could imagine.

I too never ate veg, my mum tried so hard when I was a child but I would literally vomit. But I do tend to agree with pps who say for the sake of your DC and for your health it’s something you simply have to “get over”. I cover them in sauce/gravy or mush them into mash but I make sure my DC see them on my plate and see that I eat them.

I won’t serve plain mash to my children and never have - there has to be at least one veg mashed through it (carrot, parsnip, brocolli, cauliflower etc) they don’t know any better and it’s often the only way I’ll get veg into them. I always cook enough for two days so I don’t have to think every second day at least!

I’ve tried a hidden veg sauce with limited success but it might work with your DC? If you’re buying chicken begets/fish fingers ellas kitchen does both with veg in them, they’re quite expensive compared to normal ones but I’d pay anything for mine to eat more veg!

Chicken *nuggets

I'm jealous of your toddlers list! My 2.5y is a nightmare with food!

I grate carrot and zucchini into my spaghetti bol sauce.
I also grate these into my sausage rolls.
I used to look after a friends children after school and her son did not eat veggies.
He loved my sausage rolls and did not realise that he was eating sweet potato, carrots and zucchini.
His Mum was pleased.

Being fit and healthy at 30 is pretty easy Bertie. Come back and tell us how he's doing at 50.

Thanks everyone, some good ideas for me to try.

I will be honest and admit to using pre made mash that goes in the microwave! Does anyone know if I could make my own at a weekend and freeze or store to use later in the week? Could add veg to it that way.

It’s hard to cook anything that requires much prep while toddler and baby are about so I favour throw in the oven/microwave options.

Have you got a slow cooker op? Irish stew or a tagine in a slow cooker is ideal as you can have it ready for 5.30 and then put it on keep warm mode so it’s still good when she gets home. You can also prep it all in the morn/day can make it before he leaves for work and then it saves time in the evening!

Toad in the hole is super easy. Fresh sausages into a oven dish with a smidge of oil for 15 mins. Whilst in, get 140g plain flour, add two eggs and whisk. Then slowly pour in 175mls of milk whilst still whisking. Bit of salt and pepper.

After the sausages have been in 15 mins (that's 15 mins from when the oven gets hot), take out the dish, pour in the batter mix, return to the oven for 25 mins. Don't open the door before 25mins.

Serve with mash and gravy.

Those frozen pellets of mash are totally fine. Anything to make life a little simpler. If you eat mash at Nandos and even most chain hotels, you are eating frozen mash.

A tomato sauce is also very handy to learn. Tinned Tom's, some dried herbs, diced red peppers, diced onions, celery if you can, corgette. Shove it all in a pan or the slow cooker. Once done give it a blend.

Can be as it is on pasta, mix in some chilli for a kick, cook some mince and tada, Bolognese, add mince and chilli and kidney beans and that's chilli.

Dippy eggs are pretty easy especially if you buy one of those egg boiler machines.

I know how you feel. I find making a meal really difficult since dd arrived and food shopping is just as hard.

We had fish and New Jersey potatoes last night with peas and green beans which was lovely.

The nandos chicken marinades are nice with some pitta breads.

Yes you can freeze mash, it freezes well. I'd probably freeze it in portions.

Potato mashed with parsnip and a clove of garlic is one of my favorites, I sometimes add a bit of ginger too.

You could start by using jars/tins then work up to cooking eg start with a jar of curry sauce and some chopped chicken, just put them together and put in the oven, then gradually start adding onions and different spices.

Why don't you get a cook book designed for students, we bought one for our granddaughter. She's graduated now but ate very well at Uni as the recipes were very easy to follow.

When you make your spag Bol- into the sauce add onions, mushrooms, peppers, celery, and give it a blitz in the blender. You’ll have a smooth sauce with the added goodness of veg. Use the same sauce to make your lasagne, and as a plain sauce on pasta with some grated cheese.

I know how hard it is to get motivated and find the time when you have very young children, but could you set yourself a challenge to learn to cook one new recipe from scratch each week? That way you could start to slowly expand your repertoire and gain confidence in the kitchen.

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You could start off by making your own pie and mash for you & D&H, for example, and your toddler could have the mash with fish fingers and veg.

Do you eat anything spicy? Curries etc?

Soups??? Leek and potato (use a hand blender) - can add carrot to this too.