To want to LTB because DH insists on putting chilli on everything.

[polarbearparenting]

Raw chilli.

So if I make spaghetti Bolognese, he'll insist on chopping up a raw chilli to sprinkle on top.

If I make chilli, he'll chop up an extra one.

Tonight he's complaining that there is no chilli to chop up with his meatballs and pasta.

It really gets on my tits. It feels like he's complaining about my food by default. It's ungrateful.

He'll also walk over and put extra salt in it.

He has a go at DC if they don't like what's for dinner - but this is the exact same behaviour.

Permission to rub chilli and salt in his face.

Also I’d add hot sauce and something from the excessive end of the Scoville scale to his underwear wash . However if you want to stay on the violent visage approach feel free.

My DH is a balsamicvinegarfucker - a particularly rare and niche variety of fucker. He puts it in everybloodything, on the basis that if it's good in salad dressing, it must be good in everything else.

I just don't know how the hell his mind works at all.

I know someone who does this and it's a dominance thing for him. He will not admit that anyone can make anything to his satisfaction so he must gloop the seasoning he prefers all over it, without even tasting it first. There is also lots of "constructive criticism" about every single meal that is prepared for him. I'm pretty sure he'd be outraged if anyone did the same to him.
I don't know if he adds the seasoning when he is alone and cooking for himself, I bet he doesn't. Arsehole.

Does he put it on his own portion or on the whole dish before plating? If it's everyone's, he definitely deserves it throwing at him

The spoonyfucker thread is one of my all time favourites. YANBU OP.

We take it in turns to cook. If I have something on the stove I have to watch it like a hawk, because OH will try to slide herbs, spices, etc. to it. Drives me nuts.

I don't see the problem - my husband generally likes things spicier than I do, so I will cook it to my tastes and he adds hot sauce to pretty much everything, especially if it's something that isn't even supposed to be hot like spaghetti bolognese or meatballs. Why should he eat a meal that suits me rather than one that he would prefer when there's a simple remedy? I really can't see why that's annoying.
Surely it's like me insisting that he has a bite of un-buttered toast before buttering it just because I prefer plain toast!

Argh. It's so annoying. Spice your own plate! I enjoy spicy food, but some foods don't need chili since they are flaworsome otherwise. My father has started doing this and my mother is seriously considering getting her own shelf in the fridge for "her" food. My bf used to do this but once he mixed the chili and tomatoe puree and that taught him the lesson. He is welcome to add chili to his food. Similarly I add salt to mine and sugar to deserts since he doesn't like to add neither.

Okay, i re-read and it seems like in the OP he adds it to his own plate. Now it's less annoying. I can understand that it can get on your nerves since he is hiding all the flaws and co starkly "improving" your food. But at least he doesn't seem to be ruining the food for you.

I used to put encona hot pepper sauce on everything. I used to eat it on cheese on toast by the bucketful. Think that's what fckd my stomach up 😂

Frank's buffalo wing sauce is about as hot as I go know. Still put it on a lot of things.

When they start adding it to breakfast cereal you know they’ve lost it.

I've got one of these too!!'

I’m with your dh. I generally add dried chilli flakes or Encona hot pepper sauce to my own food - I have to calm it down for everyone else so I know it won’t be spicy enough for me. Does he smoke or vape by any chance? I think that’s what’s killed my taste buds
Chilli is a bit addictive.

If he did that to my food he'd be wearing it.

OP, I wish for your husband to do what mine did. He was cooking a curry (for himself, I'm allergic to turmeric and chillies) and after chopping the chillies, decided he needed to pee. I said to him as he walked past me 'wash your hands first'. This was all good natured. Then the noises started coming from the bathroom, getting louder and more agonised. He was in the shower for over an hour and still in pain when he came out. The best thing I could suggest from the first aid kit was Acriflex, that old-fashion yellow cream that's cooling and moisturising. Even putting that on hurt. He did eventually get back to full physical action, but it took several weeks.

dontdribbleonthecarpet that is exactly what it is.

It's the ceremony of getting involved in the last 5 minutes of cooking and then trying to 'improve it'

I don't mind him adding chilli sauce or salt or something to his own plate - and for years I made curry with yoghurt for the kids and extra chilli for him so we all got something we liked.

But it's the way he does it, as if the dish is 'wrong' or that I have forgotten some important process by not cutting up a chilli. I think he likes the whole, getting the chopping board, knife palaver whilst I'm trying to dish up.

My DH does this with bloody everything or else drowns it in hot sauce even toast! He does it without even tasting it first. He also salts his food to the extreme where I’d have to spit it out if I tried some

I did not mind adding condiments to meals such as mustard etc.

But I can’t abide people who salt food BEFORE tasting it, FIL I am looking at you.

Dh covers some foods in chilli sauce but at least he tastes it, I’m allowed to occasionally whinge about it.

I have a huge aversion to salt. I don't know why I'm so sensitive to it but I know my mum didn't add any to our meals as children, because it's so bad for kids particularly.

I've had people add salt to what I'm cooking and it's absolutely ruined the food for me.

It's insulting but live-with-able if someone wants to cake their plate in salt, ketchup etc, but don't fucking add it to the food while it's still cooking. That's really disrespectful.

If I'm having soup, pasta, or something along the lines of sausage, mash and veg then I might bring a liberal amount of black pepper onto it. But I don't go about modifying the food. And I always praise someone's cooking, I really appreciate their effort.

OP, buy some Tabasco or another brand of hot sauce. Stir a liberal amount in to your partner's food before you serve it. And let us know how it goes.

I did this to someone once, it was hilarious and luckily it was taken in good spirits.

Oh god, I too have a Chillifucker.

He is expanding his tastes though. When we first got together he put brown sauce and pepper on everything. Including a lovingly prepared pan fried salmon steak with a lemon-butter jus-type-thing.

He's lucky I'm too lazy to dig a patio.

XH used to put sauce of some kind on everything I cooked.
It used to really piss me off! (I can actually cook quite tasty meals, if I say so myself. )
Leave him to his own chilli chopping heaven and start eating without him.

I've taken to calling Fiance into the kitchen to let him add his chilli flakes to whatever I'm making, after I've portioned off my own (admittedly bland) bit.

But it's the way he does it, as if the dish is 'wrong' or that I have forgotten some important process by not cutting up a chilli. I think he likes the whole, getting the chopping board, knife palaver whilst I'm trying to dish up.

Either he is a wanker who is making fairly harmless action into a big deal about your food not being 'good enough' for him, or you are interpreting a fairly harmless action as an ongoing source of criticism from him. Either way, it sounds like it's not really about the chilli!

You're probably right, it's part of a much bigger 'the world must be exactly to my liking' issue which is driving me nuts.

My husband would regret it. I'm allergic to chilli so he would be holding my hair back for me and cleaning up the mess.

Buy him some chilli plants to grow his own. They can be chopped and frozen then he can add to his own food at his own leisure