To insist on packed lunches in school?

[PackUpAndEat]

DD is 4 and starts school in September.

She has a slight allergy to eggs and tomato. We’re not talking massive life threatening allergies, but she comes up in a rash on the skin areas they’ve touched – rash is similar in appearance to acne but only appears on the areas that have been touched by the egg/tomato.

School says school dinners are compulsory for years R-2 due to the Free School Meals and they can cater for allergies. However all the children eat together, DD is a social able child and likes to share her food with her friends and try their food she does this at Nursery – school have said they cannot stop this happening or seat DD away from her classmates unless the allergy is life threatening. School have said that even with a letter from Peads/Dietician (DD has other issues so sees both) so say she’s not contagious when it happens they will send her home everytime there is a visible rash on her mouth or hands to avoid her passing anything on as the rash appears suddenly and does look quite red/sore, it isn’t itchy and doesn’t bother DD though. She will also not be allowed to return until the rash has disappeared.

Menu has egg pasta, tomato sauces and things that may contain either on the menu most days. Children are guided but not forced to choose their own meals unless they have a red badge on which is the life threatening allergies only (so DD won’t get one). At home I avoid these as much as I can but I do have them in the house as I like eating eggs and tomatoes myself so she does sometimes come into contact with them. Nursery has changed their entire menu so she never comes into contact with egg (there’s another child life threateningly allergic to egg there so there is no egg at all in the building) and only occasionally tomato. Nursery also know the symptoms of her allergy compared to illness and will keep her with them and admit her on other days as long as it is an allergy reaction and not an illness.

Piriton and antihistamines do sometimes work on her but not always. She’s already on lots of medication for different medical conditions and paeds/dietician isn’t overly worried about DD as it’s not life threatening so are leaving putting her on anything more permanent for now – she may grow out of the allergy.

School say packed lunches children in years 3 and 4 (school only goes to year 4) eat in the outside classroom or in the warmer months on the playground (obviously they still offer school lunches to years 3 and 4 and they eat in the hall), they are supervised by a TA or lunchtime supervisor and they are known a lot more so would be prevented from sharing foods. DD already knows some of the older children due to the ASC at Nursery so she’d be perfectly happy to sit with them for 15-20 minutes until she could go back to the YR/KS1 playground.

AIBU to insist on packed lunches for DD from September? I am a single parent who has to work, I can’t risk having to collect DD from School or taking time off to care for her due to an allergic reaction. I have family help but they also work so can’t always help me out.

*guided but not forced to pick so they choose their own meals

Sorry, just to make clear, school have said they will send her home every time she comes out in a rash/reaction?

Sorry, just to make clear, school have said they will send her home every time she comes out in a rash/reaction?

Yes

I imagine you’d have more luck saying the additional medical needs means her allergy needs to be considered more serious and give her the red badge?

Surely it isn’t enough to say: Not life threatening, so we’ll take the risk?

I’d attach a link to the child who died of his allergy after a classmate threw cheese at him. This is an easy thing for them to get right imo- give her the badge and treat it as seriously as they do other allergies.

...to add....even if she has a letter from a paed stating that she reacts to egg and tomato, with the reaction being a rash?

Goodness, this school sounds like hard work!

Compulsory school lunch? Allergy but not life threatening so no special treatment? They sound like idiots, if I'm honest. I've never worked in a school where the staff, especially in early years, won't go out of their way to make sure children are settled and safe and parents and happy. I would carefully read any appropriate policies, they should be available on the school website, and go in for a discussion with the head. They should be flexible in this. It's ridiculous they're so rigid.

...to add....even if she has a letter from a paed stating that she reacts to egg and tomato, with the reaction being a rash?

I have a letter from a paediatrician stating that she is allergic to eggs and tomato and the allergy appears as a rash. School have said they will still send her home if she has a reaction.

At our school children are taught right from the get go to not share food because of allergies. My son told me from week one that 'M. has a special bracelet, because she can't eat all foods'. I think schools are pretty good about these things now. Look into getting her an allergy bracelet and make sure that class teacher, office and kitchen all know about it.

If she has medical needs won’t she have some sort of care plan, signed off by her paed? Surely if that states that there is no need to send her home because of the rash, they won’t be able to?

If not, I would keep arguing with them. What they are proposing is not workable.

I think you need to speak to the school nurse and the senco and have a care plan drawn up that says she should have a packed lunch.

Does she have any input/support for the other issues you refer to?

YANBU although you do run the risk of alienating your DD. She will always be the weird kid that eats alone in the classroom I think... Unless they’d let her eat her packed lunch in the hall with everyone else but I doubt it, they have to set a precedent for everyone.

You could always choose a different school perhaps? I’ve never heard of one that insists on school dinners only, sounds odd.

I think the school should ensure she doesn’t come into contact with eggs or tomatoes either by ensuring there is a suitable school dinner or allowing packed lunch away from the school dinners. Four year old cannot manage their own allergies.
My DS has non life threatening food allergies which result in a significant amount of pain and I despair at the attitudes of some people to allergies. DS is only two and I’ve not left him in any childcare setting yet.

I have mixed views on this.
Firstly, she most certainly needs to be discouraged from sharing food, this would not be allowed in the school I work in (or any school I'd imagine) for both hygiene and allergy reasons. So you definitely need to have firm words with her about this and ask school to stop her too.
Secondly schools are very clued in to allergies, our children have a separate menu to choose from, they wear an orange wristband at lunch to indicate they need their allergy meal, their food is served separately on individual trays, so chance of contamination is tiny.
Thirdly, school should have an individual medical plan in place for your child, every member of staff should be made aware of her allergies and what is needed in case of a reaction. You should be able to give permission for them to give antihistamine or whatever medication is necessary.
In light of all this and given that her allergies are not life threatening, I do think you're being a bit precious.
However, having said all of that, I had an extremely fussy DS who would have really struggled to eat school dinners at that age, and so I would only have chosen a school that allowed pack lunches.

The care plan should also detail the reaction, and that sending home is not necessary.

What do the school think the rash is going to be mistaken for?

The problem with her sitting with her friends in the hall is that there is 2 lunchtime supervisors for an entire year at a time, so that's 60 children they're supervising so they can't stop them sharing food.

I'd ask for her to go to and sit with the Year 3 and 4s who have packed lunches in the outside classroom/on the playground as I said she already knows some of them and considers them her friends.

Wow, I have an allergy to lamb which means I have diarrhoea (tmi) for the next 48 hours... I’d like that to be considered serious enough to mean I would get special treatment. The same should apply to all known allergies. If it is likely to cause discomfort then they should do everything in their power to stop it as part of their duty of care!

What do the school think the rash is going to be mistaken for?

Chicken Pox, Slapped Cheek, HFM where the ones mentioned.

You need to insist on packed lunches

Have the school confirmed the above in writing to you or just verbally?

I would be more keen on the social aspect to keep DD with her year group, can you not tell her there’s a school rule of no sharing lunches etc?

You should be strongly discouraging your dd from sharing food, and you should expect the nursery to do the same. Sharing food brought from home has never been allowed in any school or setting I have worked in unless it has been given to staff first.

I don't really think you have the right to insist that your child is catered for separately by being moved to other year groups. It's not fair on the older children and it won't do your child any favours when it comes to forming friendships either. As the allergy isn't life threatening, or even a threat to health, you'd be better off training your dd into recognising foods that she can't have or should ask about, and teach her never to take food from anyone's else's plate. Obviously she's little so that won't be a guarantee, but she is better off learning to take responsibility for it herself as early as possible.

You have been told that they will cater for her allergies, and schools and catering companies in schools do take this very seriously. Your dd will be fine, don't be that parent before she even starts.

How very odd of them. They get the cash whether you eat it or not!

I'd watch the y3/4 thing. She might consider them friends bit there's a limit to how many lunchtime they'll want a reception kid with them and their own friends. Watch her feelings on this one.

Really odd school reasoning. Can they impose food on your child??? I'm a rule follower usually but this is nuts! (Or not in our school policy!)

But she could easily come into contact with tomato ketchup or egg mayo from another kids packed lunch that has got all over the table.

4 is old enough to have it explained to her that she must not ever eat or touch anyone else’s lunch.

Jeez, your school sound out of step. One of my DC has a non-life threatening allergy, but one which would cause her a unpleasant and painful reaction. She had a special menu from day 1, everyone aware. Very little chance of exposure and never happened.

I would possibly start down the route of more special provisions around lunch time, write to the head, and move on to governors after that. A letter from paed which explains that the allergy is ‘serious’ if not life threatening may help.

Many people assume that parents are precious and chuck around the word ‘allergy’ for special treatment. I had some eye-rolling reactions from school chef/lunchtime assistants who just thought I was being over sensitive about my PRB, but the Head and LA caterer took it fully on board.

I wouldn’t insist on packed lunches yet but I would press the point for more to be done.

4 is old enough to have it explained to her that she must not ever eat or touch anyone else’s lunch.

This.

And, tbh, one supervisor for 30 children should be able to police a school rule of not sharing food. I think it's ridiculous that the school are saying this isn't a rule and aren't willing to enforce it.

Is your daughter really disobedient?? In every school I’ve worked in, sharing food has been not allowed. Surely if your daughter gets ill when she eats something, she should be able to understand why she must not eat other peoples food? Most children, especially girls, at that age are very compliant and want to please and will follow the rule not to share - especially if it will make them ill!!

My school insists on school dinners right through (it’s private). We have no nuts on site, but other allergies are catered for in the menu. Lunch staff know who has what allergy and those children have alterations to menu where necessary. Even the 3 year olds in nursery are fine as they know not to eat off other people’s plates.