To insist on packed lunches in school?

[PackUpAndEat]

DD is 4 and starts school in September.

She has a slight allergy to eggs and tomato. We’re not talking massive life threatening allergies, but she comes up in a rash on the skin areas they’ve touched – rash is similar in appearance to acne but only appears on the areas that have been touched by the egg/tomato.

School says school dinners are compulsory for years R-2 due to the Free School Meals and they can cater for allergies. However all the children eat together, DD is a social able child and likes to share her food with her friends and try their food she does this at Nursery – school have said they cannot stop this happening or seat DD away from her classmates unless the allergy is life threatening. School have said that even with a letter from Peads/Dietician (DD has other issues so sees both) so say she’s not contagious when it happens they will send her home everytime there is a visible rash on her mouth or hands to avoid her passing anything on as the rash appears suddenly and does look quite red/sore, it isn’t itchy and doesn’t bother DD though. She will also not be allowed to return until the rash has disappeared.

Menu has egg pasta, tomato sauces and things that may contain either on the menu most days. Children are guided but not forced to choose their own meals unless they have a red badge on which is the life threatening allergies only (so DD won’t get one). At home I avoid these as much as I can but I do have them in the house as I like eating eggs and tomatoes myself so she does sometimes come into contact with them. Nursery has changed their entire menu so she never comes into contact with egg (there’s another child life threateningly allergic to egg there so there is no egg at all in the building) and only occasionally tomato. Nursery also know the symptoms of her allergy compared to illness and will keep her with them and admit her on other days as long as it is an allergy reaction and not an illness.

Piriton and antihistamines do sometimes work on her but not always. She’s already on lots of medication for different medical conditions and paeds/dietician isn’t overly worried about DD as it’s not life threatening so are leaving putting her on anything more permanent for now – she may grow out of the allergy.

School say packed lunches children in years 3 and 4 (school only goes to year 4) eat in the outside classroom or in the warmer months on the playground (obviously they still offer school lunches to years 3 and 4 and they eat in the hall), they are supervised by a TA or lunchtime supervisor and they are known a lot more so would be prevented from sharing foods. DD already knows some of the older children due to the ASC at Nursery so she’d be perfectly happy to sit with them for 15-20 minutes until she could go back to the YR/KS1 playground.

AIBU to insist on packed lunches for DD from September? I am a single parent who has to work, I can’t risk having to collect DD from School or taking time off to care for her due to an allergic reaction. I have family help but they also work so can’t always help me out.

But she could easily come into contact with tomato ketchup or egg mayo from another kids packed lunch that has got all over the table.

Absolutely and I do get that and it happens at Nursery but they don't send her home. I am just trying to protect her education.

Can they impose food on your child???

What they said is they won't change the menu and DD will not be prevented from eating food which may contain eggs or tomatos unless it's a life threatening allergy. The lunch staff will guide the children and answer questions but won't stop them taking a meal even if it contains something they're allergic too unless they're life threateningly allergic.

Will talk to school again and see what they're suggesting. DD can't ask about stuff due to her other medical issues (she speaks and understands but has problems making herself understood)

*PFB

I would however be querying that the school would knowingly allow a child to choose something they are allergic to. This is clearly extremely poor practise!!

Schools and early years settings are usually really hot on the sharing of food. It is usually discouraged quite firmly, but with that staff ratio (which is bare bones) I can see it could be missed.

Surely if the rash was an illness like HFM, slapped cheek (both of which are illnesses where a child can attend school with the rash) or chicken pox....then there would be accompanying symptoms like sore throat, fever etc.

What does the senco say when you speak to them about this?

You need to tell nursery now that you want them to start to inforce the no sharing rule. Lots of kids at schools aren't allowed a wide range of things, you've got to teach her sharing food isn't ok and only to share at home. Even in the playground I'd never let my year 1 share an after school snack without our first checking with a parent so you've just got to toughen up with that and explain that certain foods can make some people unwell and we mustn't share at school.
As for the allergy, school meals really are a better option, kids tend to try a much wider range of foods when with peers and sitting with her class is really what she will want. Give it a go. If she has a reaction and if they call you to take her home then you have a case for saying they aren't managing it and she needs packed lunch however I'd give it a go first.

My son is in year R and they are told not to share food, so they don't. Draw all over each other's t-shirts, yes, but they do not share food. They don't have a lot of supervision either.

She needs to learn to stop sharing food - that is something that you can work on, and something she needs to stop regardless of where she sits. I would though be pushing for a review of her allergy needs and that she should get a red badge. Coeliac is not immediately life threatening but are they honestly saying that they would let a child with coeliac eat gluten and not have any safety procedures in place? Allergies are also unpredictable and they seem to be rather cavalier in their approach.

What does the senco say when you speak to them about this?

The SENCO is the HT and it's her that's been saying this about policy.

In every other sense the school is perfect for DD and I know she'll love it, it's just this issue which is concerning me.

From your update, it sounds like you're rightly fighting, but in the wrong battle.

You need to insist that your child isn't not allowed any food that she is allergic to from the school menu - that you have an absolute right to do. You just can't insist that your child is allowed to have a packed lunch and is ferried to a separate area when that's against their policy. It's not fair to expect the older children to have a four year old around in their separate area either.

My youngest had a nasty intolerance to dairy products when she was smaller. She has overcome it now, but it was difficult.

She was repeatedly given things at her infants, which she couldn't have. They also repeatedly 'accidentally' let her drink the free school milk!

This would mean I was called into school because she would have a sudden and chronic diorrhea explosion.

I ended up sending her with packed lunches despite her qualifying for free school meals. But omfg. And their attitude about it was awful.

The GP didn't help because she repeatedly didn't write the letter I needed which said she was intolerant. Then when I eventually got the letter, they ignored it anyway.

You're not being precious; I understand what it's like being a single parent and being called away from (in my case it was uni, in the next valley) repeatedly.

It was distressing for my youngest too, because of the fuss and the embarrassment.

So, SO glad we moved.

Coeliac disease isn’t (immediately) life threatening either but it is very serious. Do they really not steer kids away from foods they are diagnosed allergic to??

None of this makes any sense. Most allergies are cumulative. The more you are exposed, the bigger the reaction. The school has a responsibility to make sure she doesn’t eat anything that is known to cause a reaction, even if the current reaction is death.

You have a bigger battle on your hands than allowing a packed lunch.

Schools do get a lot of information about allergies but clearly this one has no sense. It is a ridiculous argument and agree to bring in school nurse - perhaps in conversation with a nurse from hospital team. Kids that age won't willing make themselves ill but you cannot put all the responsibility on a 4yo to keep themselves safe, also ridiculous. I had to battle over exposure with a life threatening allergy - SENCO felt they had to balance the other kids 'right' to eat nuts over potential death. I just kept going. I went to Governing Body but perhaps talk to a team in the LEA, this is not good (or safe) enough.

Some schools are completely clueless and dismissive about allergies.

The staff at my dd’s Primary seemed to think that allergies were made up by the parents. Not helped of course by those who say their child is allergic to onions or whatever because they don’t like them.

I just pushed and pushed until things were changed. I felt like it was my duty not only to my dd but to all of the other dc that would be going through the school who might not be as confident or articulate as I am.

I have never ever come across a school, and I’m in different schools all of the time with my job, where they allow dc to share food. How do they know that a child has eaten sufficient if the child next to them has ‘shared’ their fish finger?

You can't insist on packed lunches if this is against their rules. I think your daughter needs to be urgently taught to stop sharing food with classmates as this could cause many problems in the future if she has severe allergies. Packed lunches would be a temporary and inadequate answer to the problem which will continue until she learns about her allergies and understands why she can't share food.

Another thing is, what makes you think that none of the packed lunches will contain tomato or eggs? Confused by this.

This does not make sense to me. How do you know that your child won’t sit next to someone in Year 4 with a packed lunch and an egg and tomato sandwich?

The school aren’t being particularly helpful but if your child has an allergy, they should know under no terms can they touch or eat that food item.

I think the school is handling this really badly. I don’t think packed lunch is necessarily the best solution - and I agree with PP that sitting with older children regularly could eventually cause social problems. But I think you need to keep pushing the school to take her allergy much, much more seriously and give her the red badge. Can you ask her doctor to contact the school directly?

Bizarre from the school, potentially a child eating egg pasta or something else more subtly containing allergens and missing education weekly? Maybe ask a written response to your questions? Then take the response to the governors or LA? Mine weren’t disobedient at all at that age but certainly couldn’t monitor food themselves or communicate that well. I was happy if they ate, reception kids do odd things. One group of boys I remember we realised didn’t want to miss any football so they were scrapping their lunch straight into the bin! Moody afternoons until we caught them.

I can understand only monitoring allergies confirmed by a doctor, but beyond that is odd. Generally as school staff we take reasonable precautions all the time to prevent the children being ill, for example we use non-toxic paint even though they aren’t meant to eat it, we don’t have a spiked fence even though they shouldn’t climb it and we get involved in informing parents if we know about minor things like pinworms going round or nits so parents can manage them. We don’t just tell them not to and let four years manage a range of risks themselves.

Allergens also develop and change a lot at that age, I remember a kid who only had a rash with peanuts and piriton only going into shock with a cashew when apparently she’d had pesto in the past. I was responsible for allergies in a school and 5 or 10 photos and notes behind the counter made little difference.

The school is handling it very badly and I’d be annoyed.

But you do need to teach her not to share food because even with packed lunches there is very likely to be egg and tomato as they’re standard packed much items. I’d fight for the red sticker, I don’t think it should matter if it’s life threatening if it’s an allergy it’s affecting her immune system every. single. time

I would look for a different school. You say its right for her in every other way, but she could potentially be ill every lunchtime!! Also, theres no way food sharing is allowed in the majority of schools nowadays.
Staff not steering 4 year olds away from food the adults know would make her ill?? You must have got that wrong surely?!!

Perhaps have another chat with school. I found that they talk in riddles sometimes and assume you know things you couldn't know until someone told you!

You said mildly allergic in your OP. Are they misinterpreting that as "don't like". Worth a chat.

Reiterate, sitting with KS2 kids isn't the right answer or fair to the KS2 kids!

School doesn't seem to understand that allergies can worsen after each exposure, so the more they allow to have egg pasta, or tomato, the more her life threatening her allergy may start to become.

Also be aware that as she has an allergy to tomato, she may have an allergy (or develop one) to latex, as they are in the same group of allergens.

Ask how they prepare their meals, which food hygiene gloves do they wear?

Latex is a definite for airborne and touch particles, as I have it and cannot have balloons in my house, and have to carry anti-histamines.

Oh & I developed my allergy. Through repeated contact. Until it got to the point where it became problematic to be around latex.

OP are you taking onboard everybody saying you should ask your DD to stop sharing food and ask her current nursery to stop allowing it?