Preg with twins. AIBU to hate DH?

[nippsout]

NC'd as this is just a bit of a rant.

Currently having a miserable twin pregnancy. I was sat in the living room just now feeling a bit miserable when the door went. I am in NO fit (physical or mental) state to be around people. Despite it chucking it down today I have been having hot flushes and sweating my tits off. I've basically been waiting the entire day for my nausea to pass in order for me to have a shower and wash my greasy hair. I feel horrendous and look worse.

Dh answered the door and I closed the living room door to stop the dog getting out/avoid human interaction. 5 mins later Dh calls me out into the hallway to talk this handyman his dad had sent over. I'm sat in a stained white t-shirt (ate soup for dinner) that is completely see through to the point you can see my (currently) massive/dark nipples.

I try to make excuses but fucking dh is insistent I have a chat. I was dying on the inside standing there. Handyman was decent looking and the hallway was a bombsite which doesn't help. I'm normally obsessive with being presentable and it is so fucking typical of dh to not pick up on any of my signals. He thought he was doing me a favour by asking for my opinion. I'm just fuming that dh did this to me, he knows I'm not feeling great today.

I know it's my fault for not taking caring of myself but this has to be the worst day of my pregnancy (symptoms wise) so far.

AIBU?

Oh bless you. Pregnant with twins? You can hate anybody you want to.

I hope you manage to get your shower (maybe soak in a bath for a while?) and feel better soon

No - whilst pregnant with twins YANNNBU

Ha! Twin mum here, trust me when they will be newborns you will open the door in this state (maybe also no pants on). And you won’t care anymore 😅
As a side note, congrats on the twin pregnancy, it really is a blessing to have two together.

Why couldn’t dh cope with the handyman on his own?

Oh I remember those moments! When I was pregnant with my twins I was an absolute disaster and so was my home. Also suffered with HG throughout and yet DH still invited his parents around every sodding Saturday.

PIL would pass comment on my appearance and the state of the flat we lived in then - DH would laugh it off and I’d make excuses to go to bed. Then when they left I’d have a chat with DH explaining that the effort to just talk to people was too much, let alone his judgmental PIL... after all there were only so many “oh you look awful” and “you’ll need this place to be a lot tidier when the twins come” statements I could take. After the first trimester I had a meltdown and said that unless I invited them, NOBODY was allowed in whilst I was pregnant- he would have to go to his PIL if he wanted to see them 😂 he listened after that. Men are generally clueless.

My twins are now 19mo and I’m still in a constant state of messy clothes, unwashed hair and messy floors... (every mealtime half goes in mouths and the rest onto the floor haha) but I’ve since decided that, so long as the twins are happy and healthy - I couldn’t give one fuck what other people think of me 😊 I’m too tired to care. But my god do DD and DS make it worth it :D

Congrats OP on your twins. Hope when you get the chance to explain to your DH that he put you in such an embarrassing situation by being an oblivious twit he’ll take note!

Thanks for the comments. Both Dh and I are twins so I guess I only have my self to blame. Just wish he wasn't so clueless, I must have given him at least 3 different excuses as to why I couldn't leave the living room.

Apparently, he only needed me for a minute. Lies.

Why couldn’t dh cope with the handyman on his own? He wanted my opinion on whether we should paint the arch white or match it with our walls. Answer: I could not give a flying fuck!

His totally oblivious smiling face made me snap!

My sister is telling me off via text.

I was gardening today in shorts and a t-shirt, which I removed, the t shirt, being too hot, we're not overlooked at all and I'm 70+. OH calmly walked through the gate with a couple of men, quite hunky, who were measuring up for a fence. Not sure who was more embarrassed, me or them!

You are defiantly not being unreasonable.

Men are such helpless little lambs sometimes and can't pick up on signals. I absolutely refuse to come to the door now as DH always calls me to speak to the chuggers/religious groups/ sales people at the door. Just no

YANBU

At least you didn't snap and fart! (did you??)

YANBU at all. Pregnancy is hard, pregnancy with twins is doubly hard.

@LadyRannaldini absolutely brilliant. You should have just greeted them and made chit chat as if nothing was amiss.

Men have no idea!
When I was 8 months pregnant with twins he complained that I wasn't wall papering the spare bedroom quick enough, I could only manage to hang two lengths of paper a day. I worked out I could get it finished in time, but he still grumbled.
However once they were born he was besotted, and in awe of me and apologised for his lack of consideration during the pregnancy.

Next time (I hope for his sake he doesn’t repeat this) shout from the living room why you won’t be coming out. I did this 4 days PP, totally topless trying to get DD to latch. Husband bright red, I didn’t have to move, DD got fed and I think a lesson was learnt by all.

Yab a bit u for not saying no and mean it, a firm 'No' lm not coming out the living room and nobody is coming in and mean it. I don't see short of dragging you out physically he could actually 'insist' you went to speak to this man. Don't let him do that to you again, you and only you should be in charge of who you meet and when.

Twin pregnancy is really rough.

Tell dh he needs to hear you say “no” or you will allow him to experience your wrath.

Oh my goodness, you are not being unreasonable at all. Congratulations on your two babies on the way. For next potential visitors...have a code phrase!!!

Why is it relevant that the handyman was decent looking? Your dh should have picked up on your hints, though you could have said, but the man being cute is nonsense as you're not there to look nice for the men.

@LadyRannaldini Tue 18-Jun-19 21:08:09
I was gardening today in shorts and a t-shirt, which I removed, the t shirt, being too hot, we're not overlooked at all and I'm 70+. OH calmly walked through the gate with a couple of men, quite hunky, who were measuring up for a fence. Not sure who was more embarrassed, me or them!

Ha ha! oh I'm cringing for you!!

OP congrats on your twin pregnancy, I always wanted twins! So special! but you need to perfect your evil eye

Tbh when I felt awful in pregnancy I hated my husband for imprinting me, for not being pregnant himself, for being a man etc so YANBU for hating him for any real reason

Ah, OP, my sympathies! I have twins, too, and desperately wanted to be one of those earth mothers, with the perfect half-basket ball bump and a >cough-cough< "Oh, it's a baby!" delivery my friends all seemed to have. Ghastly, ghastly, ghastly. Hormonal, huge, ultimately hospitalised. Who on earth would want to reproduce themselves in such a ghastly way?

Hate the whole world. It deserves your hate. You're a !

I had a friend who, years ago during her first pregnancy, hated her DH so much, if they had to drive anywhere, she'd sit in the back while he drove. She couldn't stand the sight of him, the smell of him. She couldn't even breathe the same air as him! They've survived!

Pregnant with twins and the weather is shit? Bring the h8! Tell the handyman you need a special, dark cupboard built for your DH for times like this one when you just need to put him away for a few hours. Or have the handyman come around again to lend DH a shovel so he can dig his own hole.

You didn’t have to go. No matter how insistent he was.

Handyman was decent looking

Would it have been less embarrassing if he weren’t decent looking?