AAARRRGGGHHH!! She's doing it again, Chewing with her mouth open!!

[IfIwereable]

What's a polite way of saying STFU while eating!! Hate being stuck in an office with someone who can't chew without chomping and clapping their lips together!! (eating an apple so also have slurrping sounds as well)

Oh yeah what's my AIBU?? to just say STFU!!!

A difficult one because she's going to feel offended whatever you say. However, I'd probably say something like; 'I wish we had a kitchen or staff canteen. It's not nice having to eat at our desks where everyone can hear us'. Use of the word 'hear', rather than 'see', might get your point across. Fairly passive/aggressive, but what the fuck - listening to other people chewing noisily makes me want to scream.

OP I feel your pain! I started a thread on here a few weeks back as the fucking invigilator of an exam I was sitting chomped loudly on 3 bloody apples during the exam!! Misophonia is a nightmare and I wish there was either a cure for it or people would learn to eat like human beings and not like vile animals

@BigSandyBalls2015
Regarding the boss who eats like a pig.... this is a way of telling the people around him that they are subordinates, that he doesn't have to mind his manners in front of them because they don't matter, that's what's going on there

Find a way to get a conversation round to "sayings you don't hear any more". My DGM always used to say "if you have to chew with your mouth open, you obviously have too much in it".

ALL of DP's family clack their teeth when they eat - it puts me off my food

i loveit when you are in a lecture and some tit starts crunching on an apple for half an hour getting every last bit. I want to murder them with a chair leg.

I see the judgey pants are out in force today.

All of DPs family (weirdly, except him) eat like that and it drives me insane!!! I hate being invited round for dinner.

I have terrible misophonia and the sound of people eating makes me really angry and almost tearful. I feel like I need to get away from the noise immediately.

Up until recently I worked in an open plan office and there was a woman who ate celery/apples/crisps so loudly I could hear every crunch from the other side of the room. I had to get up and walk out until she was finished.

I am currently eating prawns at my desk, along with a crunchy salad. I'm sure you'd all hate me!

Excuse me while I vomit at mine.

I'd find myself just saying something. A few years ago I was in the cinema and there was a group of women in the row behind us, and one of them was eating sweets and sounded disgusting. I suddenly found myself turning round and saying "Didn't your mother teach you any manners? close your mouth when you eat!" All her friends laughed, (probably grateful!) and she stopped doing it!

@81Byerley

Thank god for that!

@isabellaLinton the rest of my team just ordered in a ton of sushi, so I'm the least offensive person in here right now

I have some very noisy eaters. Especially someone who chews gum half the day. It makes my skin crawl. I have to stick my earphones on and drown it out (luckily managers are not fussed about earphones - it keeps us all sane). I also have to join a conference call a few times a week where the person presenting is always also eating their lunch so you get all the sound effects from that. It's disgusting. And we are their customer so unprofessional too.

mAYBE THEY have a NOSE PROBLEM

Yabbers - who's being judgey?

I loathe noisy eating, but appreciate that some (not all) people can avoid it. It makes me feel quite queasy TBH.

And it's the same with slurpy kissing on the tele. Stephen Graham sounded like he was rivalling Dynarod in The Virtues - it was the only thing that spoiled it for me!

OMG do you work in my office.....

woman opposite eats an apple, two carrots very very loudly, every single morning. How i haven't screamed at her yet is beyond me!!!

"That reminds me, I must book in with the dental hygienist soon....."

I also have misphonia! There were some kids behind me on the bus noisily crunching crisps. Despite a sprained ankle I had to get up and stand as far away from them as I could!

I cannot stand the scrapey sound of feet on a particular kind of tiled floor kind of tiled floor. I find it almost distressing.

My CEO sits opposite/next to me, but side-on (my desk is at the end of his desk), so I get full visual around the computer monitor. He was eating something the other day, and I couldn't hold it in any longer, and just snapped 'enjoying that, are you?!'.
Luckily he just sort of stared at me and then went off to continue his slurping and chomping in the meeting room.

Oh god it's like torture listening to someone eating loudly. I don't have the guts to say anything so just sit silently plotting their slow, painful demise!

at telling off your ceo.

@category12
I know, it was like a volcano erupting inside me though 😂 it was out my mouth before I had chance to clock what I was saying or to whom!

I know how you all feel. Crisps are the absolute worst, people seem to throw them in and then "pop" them with their teeth somehow. I generally make my excuses and go to the loo/drinks run... but can't if they bring their crisps for an inpromtu meeting!

My boss used to bring an entire bag of mini carrots in, probably 500g worth and chomp through them. Argh.