To be surprised that boys who do chores tend to be happier adults?

[jennymanara]

A study of 268 boys over 70 years found amongst other things, that boys who do chores at home, tend to be happier as adults.

news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/

Why is it surprising?

It’s satisfying to be able to keep your home tidy.

It also means people you live with don’t have issue with your slobiness!

That doesn't surprise me. It's about self esteem and contributing to family chores and being recognised for this help to develop this.

Okay that makes sense.
Interesting, I have read so many comments in the past where some think chores for children don't matter at all.

Happier as adults as their relationships won’t go to shit the way lazy, slobby men’s relationships tend to go when their partners can no longer tolerate the inequality. That’s my guess anyway

I did a lot of chores as a kid and actually it helped a lot. Especially being sent to the shops for groceries.

I’ll be upping the chores for mine as I’ve let them slack!!!

I think a lot of problems in marriages/relationships can result from men not pulling their weight in the home and seeing domestic chores as woman’s work, so these boys are likely to have better relationships as a result of this.

I need to show this to my 12 yr old DS. Nobody else in his class has to do household chores apparently... He's very badly done to he thinks!

What iggly said.

It doesn’t surprise me at all - surely any child who has been taught useful life skills and a sense of responsibility will be happier than one who hasn’t?

Surely a man who contributes towards the running of the home is in a better relationship than the one who doesn't? That it turn must make for a happier life.

This doesn't surprise me but its nice to see it officially confirmed.

I can't see why it would be the least bit surprising.

Some of the unhappiest adults I know (m or f) are the ones who did no chores growing up. It's good to learn early on that there are loads of boring bits to life but the rest makes up for it, rather than being pandered to as a child. I believe this really strongly.

Doesn't surprise me at all.

People get a huge amount from being capable and from knowing that they contribute positively to whatever situation they are in, and also a lot of positive reinforcement from people who appreciate their efforts.

...

Surprising? It shouldn't be. Very sad if it is. Chores in childhood teach children invaluable life skills, self-confidence, and self-reliance. I think it's horrible so many young children today are not made to pitch in around the home. It's a recipe for failure and dependency.

They probably have happier relationships, no one complaining at them for doing nothing.

Also living in filth is awful. I couldn't be happy with dirty sheets, unhoovered floor etc.

Relying on other people to do stuff for you makes people unhappy even if your own laziness is to blame.

I was shocked when I went to university and discovered many had never used a washing machine or cooked something as simple as pasta. How can you be happy when you are so helpless?

I'm in my 30s and many of my friends think it's amazing that I can cook sauces from scratch. I'm not talking about anything fancy, just pasta sauce or white sauce. Living off processed food is shit for your health and is more expensive so of course that contributes. Knowing I can feed my family healthily for a couple of pounds is a reassuring feeling in case anything goes badly wrong financially.

Partly responsibility and achievement?

To be able to do a few things in a home are skills. Skills are achievements. A sense of "being able to do things". A sense of competence.

Possibly also those families are more mature, work more "together" and share things?

Could be a number of reasons. Its sheer speculation to my mind!

paddling sums up one reason v well.

DD was taught from a young age to clean up after herself. If she spills a drink she will say, "sorry" then go and get a cloth and clean up. Her friends get shouted at and their mum cleans up.

When she cleans up she feels effective and in control. I always thank her and she feels appreciated. I don't find this study surprising in the least.

DGS is already wiping up his own spills at nearly two, and loves sweeping up. He does neither very well, but it's a good start. Unfortunately yesterday he swept out the (cold) woodburner, so I spent today washing the floor, the wall and the brushes.

Doesn't surprise me at all. Although I have noticed that some people think their children doing chores is some sort of child abuse

I’m not surprised either.
As well as what others have said, kids who do chores develop a ‘can do’ attitude that not only helps them with home and relationship life but in work life too.

Er..couldn't see chores mentioned in the article.... I know its late... re-read it twice....

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The sense of competence is really important.

Also important are the sense of belonging to the Home Team - boys in particular need a team ime, and the feeling of having a trusted role in a team. Sports or musical ensembles can also fulfill this need but chores are free, require no special equipment and nobody gets their eardrums pierced by beginner clarinet practice...

Perhaps overlooked is the amount of parental effort that goes into organising and motivating a child to do chores and keep at them consistently, and the effect of this on the child.

If done right, i.e. without nagging or threats or bribes or worst of all, sarcasm, the closeness to the parent that results from teaching and then gently monitoring can greatly enhance a child's sense of self esteem. The parent can encourage and praise (in a measured way) and show by their own commitment to consistency, patience and positive interaction, and maybe above all their belief that the child can learn and can master what is expected, how to work with others respectfully.

It takes effort and commitment on the part of the parent to keep a child at a daily or weekly chore, and this example rubs off on the child.

I'm not surprised, feeling capable is a good thing. My kids always had allocated tasks and were expected to help around the house. They still need nudging occasionally (late teens) but I am so glad I stuck with it. I am currently having treatment for breast cancer and fatigue is a major side effect, I am totally relying on them with DH to do the household stuff. Imagine if they had never been taught how to clean a bathroom, do laundry or tidy up properly after a meal! They are happy that they can help.