Partner wants me to pick him up

[Pissedoffatwork]

Hi everyone,

i've name changed as i don't want this linked to my other posts as partner knows my username.

I'm so pissed off. My partner is a gardener and works mon-Fri 7am - 4pm, though has been doing overtime recently and staying until 6-6:30 ish.
He doesn't drive though normally he works locally so it's not hard for him to walk home if he doesn't fancy doing the overtime, otherwise he gets a lift with the person he works with as he always does over time. Thursday and Friday last week i picked him up at 4pm, bear in mind i work 9:30-5:30 Mon-Fri, though i can be a little bit flexible and i worked from home for the rest of the afternoon on both days. He was also based 5 minutes from our house.
Today he was supposed to be local, he never asked me to pick him up but implied it last week. He's been sent about 25-30 down the road and wants to finish at 4. This means I'd have to leave my office for at an hour and then come back. As i work in the tourism industry it's the busy period for us, we're short staffed so it's only me in the office at the moment.
He text me off his work friends phone to call him, I said he was taking the piss and i couldn't pick him up , plus i won't have my expenses paid until tomorrow and only had 45km in the car and that wasn't enough to get there and back. He asked me to call his nan and ask to borrow 10, said i wasn't comfortable doing this plus there is a language barrier, i can speak the language at a good level, however she's going deaf and finds it hard to understand what I'm saying. I call her anyway, 3 times and each time i called she didn't understand me. Called my partner back and told him to borrow his friends phone again, call her and ask her to call him back. He refused as he didn't want to borrow the phone again (his credit had gone).
He's now all pissed off with me because i'm not going to just knock on his nan's door and ask for money or hand my phone to her and expect her to give me cash. Told me not to bother to come home tonight (which is so pathetic it's laughable) and now he has to wait around for 2 hours in the other town.
AIBU not to go to his nan's and just get the cash. She can't understand me, i don't feel comfortable doing it and it means at least an house out of work!

Yanbu.

You aren’t his personal taxi. I would stop any work related lifts as he is obviously coming to expect it now which isn’t good

YANBU. I wouldn't want to go to an in-laws house to beg money either. I also wouldn't act as a taxi service to my other half when I'm at work myself - CF!! If he can't even afford some credit for his phone, does he have any redeeming points OP?

Yanbu.

What does he think you're his personal slave and his nan is the bank? I wouldn't even have phoned her.

An hour out of your busy day? No chance.

What's the home situation OP? Is it his house, your house, does he contribute towards the rent/mortgage/bills? He's got a bloody cheek telling you not to come home because you're not able to act as his taxi or go begging for him. Seriously, why are you with this guy?

There’s no way I could just up and leave work for an hour to go and collect my husband. If he wants to finish work at 4pm, and you work until 5:30pm, then it’s up to him to get himself home.
I’d not be giving any lifts any more. He is an adult, he can sort himself out. He sounds a bit shit to be honest. What redeeming qualities does he have?

Why do you even have to ask if you are being unreasonable? Is your self esteem so low that you cannot see for yourself what a gobshite he is ??

YANBU. Why doesn’t he drive?

Woah, if my DH even thought about speaking to me in this manner, he would not be wise to come home. Has this dude got a diamond covered cock for you to put up with his crap?

You were at work! Hardly on a jolly. In my line of work it's never possible to pop out for an hour or so or leave early. He needs to sort out his own transport and money, instead of trying to make you do it

Most people would get the sack if they popped out of work willy nilly to give lifts.

I think he's better off doing the overtime on a permanent basis and then maybe he can afford to top up his phone and get his own transport.

What are you getting out of this relationship?

He only started working around 3 weeks ago so hasn't been paid yet which is why he doesn't have any credit.
He goes to his nan for cash all the time . His nan and grandad are minted, and she gives it to him! Unfortunately she's reaped what she's sowed as he's always up there.
We were surviving off my wage alone, which wasn't really stretching far, wages are low here compared to most European countries.
We currently live with his mum and dad we're trying to save money for a deposit and move out, (though i have been looking for just me) they were in the UK and we had the house for 1 year to ourselves but they came home last year so we've been there ever since.
There are a lot of cultural differences, link latino, so they overreact and shout and flail their arms a lot, though it's not always meant in that way if that makes sense. He'll be feeling really bad now about what he's said to me i know he will, though he'll still be moody with me when i go home later. I just ignore him when he gets like it, it's his problem and not mine so let him carry on. I'm just so pissed off at the way he spoke to me

it's a ciao from me, when it you become his p.a? it'll get worse if he sulks now and tells you not to come home. jog on chummy.
you sound as if you'd be better off on your own, try to move out if you can.

Yeah i came to that conclusion a while ago. Unfortunately I'm a sticky spot as rentals here are mainly for the holiday season and private rentals are usually word of mouth, we don't have rental agencies like we do in the UK.
Still, i have one of those bounce boogie trampoline classes for the first time tonight so that'll keep me busy

"Still, i have one of those bounce boogie trampoline classes for the first time tonight so that'll keep me busy" love it!
You know he's unreasonable OP

When you said "DP" did you actually mean "14 year old DS"? If not I couldn't be bothered with a man who can't organise himself enough to have a working phone and a means to get to or from work. No way would I be banging on his nan's door to borrow money either!

Fuck that. He can get the bus or you could offer to collect him after you finish work.

What are you getting from the relationship? Seriously? Unless you’re both about 17 this is all just nonsense.

if you're both so skint sounds like he needs the overtime.

Charley50 lol there's always an upside haha

I'm 33 and he's 29. Unfortunately he hasn't had a steady job since we came here, which was 2.5 years ago, i however have. I've told him he's not making a mug of me anymore. We had a joint account which my wages were being paid into. i've now got my own account so finance are separate now.
I'm actually not getting anything from this at all. And I've told him which is why i think he got his arse into gear and got a job. If i see anything I'll be moving. It's been very hard to save, now that he is working i'll at least be able to put some money by just incase

I'm a fairly laid back person and it's only recently I've realized that he's just walking over me and won't change. His mother agrees with me as well when we've discussed it.

You're dangerously dependent on this man. You really need to look for a different job.

Your DP is a manchild. You deserve better.

Another manchild and loser. Get rid.

Definitely get rid. It sounds like he'll do the minimum possible to keep you around. This is no way to live.

When he gets his first pay cheque he needs to buy himself a bike.
Would I fuck be calling his nan to ask for £10, how embarrassing.