To ask for help with 69

[Deafdonkey]

You lovely mumsnetters have helped me in the past so asking for your knowledge and experience.
My year 6 has asked what 69 is. They know its something to do with sex. Can anyone help me to age appropriately explain it.

Thanks

The difficulty is that the child might then ask what the other 68 positions are and is 69 it or are there more?

X post, I was agreeing with OP earlier message about giving age appropriate information!

Also I am not suggesting the whole second speech I gave in one go, but those are the points I'd cover as part of a conversation if the child asked more questions.

What happened to "I'll tell you when you're older" as a parenting technique? It's what my parents used with me, it's what I use with my child when it's a seriously age inappropriate topic. (NB, not a pearl clutcher, have answered all his questions about biology in an open way - but there's just stuff he doesn't need to know at late primary school age.)

I think I would have said that it's something they don't need to know at this stage. It's mortifying!

I have a year 6 DD and I would NOT be telling them it’s when adults kiss each other’s private parts at the same time. It’s not an age appropriate thing to say IMO. Just keep it vague.

Winding you up, want to see you squirm. They need a book on the subject. Are these your family or you're a teacher and these are kids in your class? I would ask them what they think it is, what they know already. Do they know what a bj/oral is. Give them the technical terms too and remember safer sex

I also use the ‘I’ll tell you when you’re older’ technique!

@81Byerley I've always said to them I will do my best to answer but sometimes I may need to think about it. As soon as I heard this question I said I'd need time to think about how to explain it in way they could understand. Then I thought.. Please help me MN

Kissing each others bottoms might make them say yuk and wish they'd never asked. I do know what it really is.

My DD heard about oral sex in year 8 in sex ed and was shocked. We had talked about sex and making babies etc when she was in yr 6/7 but hadn't gone further. The look on her face when she told me, poor thing felt sick at the thought. Tread very carefully.

What about just staying off sex and deal with it by referring to positions only.

it's a way of describing people lying head to toe - if necessary draw two straight stick men and say you can see how the head of the 6 etc - be stick very position factual and no sexual references.

Then you can explain two fat ladies.

• joking about the the two fat ladies.

@puffinhead

But what would you say, I think that's a fairly appropriate description - I'd rather be a bit more open now, knowing in three months they're going to be at a secondary school with access to older teens who'll happily explain in graphic detail.

You thought 'I'll go to AIBU to ask MNers to explain 69 to primary school children' ?

Tell them it's a product of two primes, their Maths homeowrkis to find out the two primes. Take their mind of other things for a while! Answer is 3 x 23.

are you so inexperienced a teacher that you can't swerve this question?

For clarification.
I'm the mum
I used Aibu for selfish reasons as I knew something had been worrying DC all weekend and finally found out before bed. I had no idea how to deal with it but knew I don't think 'you are too young to know' is an appropriate answer. If they are old enough to ask the question I think they need an age related response. So said I'd think about it and let them know. I know Aibu is the only forum likely to get any replies on a Sunday night.
@Missingstreetlife no not to make me squirm. I'm fairly it took a lot to ask me the question.
@BadnessInTheFolds thank you. I found your post very helpful.

I was year 7 when I asked my mum. She just told me in a matter of fact way. It was fine. (Something like, it's a sex act where your heads are both near each other's private parts)

It'd been mentioned at school, so I asked mum, she told me.

@Userplusnumbers, I can only go by my daughter’s reaction, she would be appalled. We have talked about sex together but she’s still at the stage where she finds it disgusting! I’m all for being honest - up to a point (cop-out!).

I think it's great that your child has asked you, OP. Lovely relationship there (if a bit awkward on this occasion!).

As they've learned about sex already, I think the PPs explanation of 'its a name given to a way adults can have sex in' could be enough, or a very matter of fact 'sexual positions have names - that one's given because people can be different ways up'.

I know it's a bit ewwwww to be speaking to your kids about it, but Given that secondary school is just 3 months away, keeping them in the dark when they've directly asked you and they trust you to tell them the truth isn't the right route, in my opinion.

@letstryanewone thank you. I didn't have a parent like that and remember feeling forever confused and embarrassed as school peers mentioned stuff. Although it appears against the grain I think your mum did good.

They are taking the piss, they know what it means but just want to embarrass you.

I remember when DS1 was about 10 he'd heard some talk about blow jobs at school, and asked me what they were. I told him it was a kind of sex and waited to see if there were any supplementary questions. There weren't. I think he might have been wondering if they were a real thing.

Tell her it is a special kind of icecream with a big chocolate flake

Doing sex education at school. Have been told that a penis enters a vagina and that can make a baby

This in inappropriate for children to be taught this in school. There doesn't seem as if there is a baby shortage in the U.K.

Also people read MN from all over the world and many of us do not know what age children are in 'year six'. Do you know what age 5th graders are or say grade school kids?