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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NDN complained about ball bouncing

117 replies

Bonkersblond · 16/06/2019 15:12

DS15 Birthday today received a much wanted Basketball hoop, DH spent the morning building it, DS enjoyed using it for 45 mins, probably some novelty factor here, anyway NDN turns up at door visibly upset and says she can’t cope with the ball bouncing, we are detached house with garages in between. Of course we immediately asked DS to stop and he has since gone out with friends. Since NDN coming round we have discussed moving hoop to end of garden, DH will put a base down. AIBU in letting DS use his hoop in short bursts of 10/15 mins until this happens, he will be so disappointed if he can’t use today of all days since he’s only just got it. I was feeling really pleased that he’s getting into more sport and encouraging him rather than nagging him to get off his Computer and phone. Feeling a bit miffed and not sure who is being unreasonable here so would like some advice.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 16/06/2019 17:05

Op, your son has a right to play with his ball. The neighbour does not have a right to silence during the day nor can she dictate what others do. Don't put her unreasonable demand over your son, just let him play. If this was late at night, early in the morning, or for an excessive time then she may have a point, but less than an hour during day time hours is fine.

If you live in close proximity to others you cannot behave as she is.

19lottie82 · 16/06/2019 17:06

I’m all for putting up with “normal household” noise. But a bouncing ball on concrete, is really REALLY annoying. Take it to the park.

19lottie82 · 16/06/2019 17:08

Why can’t you move it to the end of the garden with a base? Your son can still play and the noise won’t annoy the neighbours?

CJSmith2019 · 16/06/2019 17:10

Basketball dribbling on a hard surface? That would drive me up the wall. It is an extremely irritating, repetitive noise.

Same here.

Lizzie48 · 16/06/2019 17:12

Basketball hoop at the other end of the garden, then your DS will be bouncing his ball on grass not concrete. Problem solved. Smile

Whedon · 16/06/2019 17:17

He has every right to play with his ball in his own home!

PreseaCombatir · 16/06/2019 17:18

The same people here moaning about kids playing ball games will be the same ones moaning that kids are lazy nowadays and do nothing but okay computer games inside 🙄

Oneminuteandthenallgone · 16/06/2019 17:19

6 years up to 3 house a day we had this. Basketball hoop in neighbours garage. It was so annoying. When they rented the flat out another neighbour took it down- I assume so that no-one else could take up the hobby.

Lipz · 16/06/2019 17:22

I think I'm in the minority here, I hate the noise of a bouncing ball, especially a basket ball as they are louder. I wish I could live up a mountain on my own but I have to find ways around the noise. NDN has a basket ball hoop in their garden, they have tarmac down so the nosie echoes more, it starts at 8am before school for half an hour then all day when they come home, on school holidays it's constant. They also have a tampoline that I can hear every squeak, then on top of that 2 kids that scream like wailing banshees non stop and then 6 dogs that run barking at the kids doing their games/play. I had asked her if she wanted the springy part off our trampoline as we were throwing it out, ours NEVER squeaked, but she told me to fuck off, so I bought cosy phones and I wear them when in the back of the house all the time. Maybe buy her cosy phone ?lol or maybe change where the hoop onto grass ? or get rubber mats ? or do nothing.

19lottie82 · 16/06/2019 17:22

He has every right to play with his ball in
his own home!

I have the right to do plenty of things, but a lot of times I avoid them or compromise as the are selfish / annoying / antisocial.

MonkeyTrap · 16/06/2019 17:23

This is normal day time noise. As pp have said.

Just because someone finds something annoying doesn’t make it reasonable to stop it.

PreseaCombatir · 16/06/2019 17:23

Playing games outside is the opposite of anti social surely? As otherwise, they’d be inside?!?...

RosaWaiting · 16/06/2019 17:24

If you live in close proximity to people, you should be decent. My parents would never have let us bounce a ball on concrete.

I wonder how far the nearest place is to play?

Reroute the damn thing to grass at least. Though I suppose the next thing we’ll get is “why should we spoil the grass”.

Lizzie48 · 16/06/2019 17:37

The DS stopped when the NDN complained, though, Rosa, so they're not unreasonable. And the OP's DH is planning to move it to the other end of the garden, so this OP isn't being unreasonable about it.

Gooseysgirl · 16/06/2019 17:44

I think that by moving the hoop further down the garden you are providing a very reasonable compromise! If you were my neighbour I would be happy with that and suck it up re. the noise. It's his birthday ffs, let him out there again today to play, nothing wrong with it... part and parcel of living in close proximity to others. It's hardly an all night party...

GeorgeTheFirst · 16/06/2019 17:52

I think you are being perfectly reasonable in moving it away. Assuming that will take a few days, I would limit his times and I would tell the NDN what limits you have set him (don't ask, tell, but politely). It will be probably be easier for her to tolerate if she knows what the deal is.

Buddytheelf85 · 16/06/2019 18:04

I think it’s very reasonable of you to move the hoop and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to let him play in short bursts until that happens. It’s probably a good idea to let her know that’s the plan.

Having said that, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for your son to bounce a ball on concrete during the day. Yes it’s an annoying sound but way less irritating than loud talking or loud music.

KatieB55 · 16/06/2019 18:08

Can you put thin rubber matting down to lessen the sound?

amusedbush · 16/06/2019 18:10

The sound of a ball bouncing is really irritating and after 45 minutes my brain would be coming out my ears.

It’s good that you’ve decided to move the hoop further down the garden.

mokapot · 16/06/2019 18:14

House is your castle and all that jazz

Greyhoundsaregreyt · 16/06/2019 18:17

That goes for everybody’s house...

VirginiaWolfHall · 16/06/2019 18:18

It would drive me mad, thank god you sound like a considerate neighbour unlike the majority of “stuff ‘em” posters on here. I think compromise and mediation is the best way forward here. It would take a lot for me to confront my neighbours so I imagine she was at her wit’s end when she called round to you.

Original poster
Bonkersblond · 16/06/2019 19:02

Wow, lot of responses, sorry just got back to this, and to see different opinions, had already made my mind up he was going to crack on and play when he came home which he has, DH has already been clearing the back of garden in preparation to move hoop down there, people at the back of us have kids and the other side so will be ok, I think she is BU, and we certainly do not have our kids playing out at unsociable hours, her grandchildren were round today and they weren’t exactly quiet! I think maybe we bore the brunt of her bad day as we have always had a good relationship, we have a dog who yaps occasionally which we endeavour to stop asap & who we have apologised for and they have always told us they never hear her or anything which is why I’m so shocked I suppose. I thought they were far enough away, I will go and have a chat with her as hate the thought of falling out after 20 years of NDN!

OP posts:
RomanyQueen · 16/06/2019 19:08

Maybe it was the 45 mins not the noise.
I don't think there's anything wrong with up to half an hour, it's your garden and it's only a ball.

Greyhoundsaregreyt · 16/06/2019 19:21

They’ve been polite about the dog, op. I really doubt they never hear her yapping... The bouncing was obviously the straw that broke the camels back.