NDN complained about ball bouncing

[Bonkersblond]

DS15 Birthday today received a much wanted Basketball hoop, DH spent the morning building it, DS enjoyed using it for 45 mins, probably some novelty factor here, anyway NDN turns up at door visibly upset and says she can’t cope with the ball bouncing, we are detached house with garages in between. Of course we immediately asked DS to stop and he has since gone out with friends. Since NDN coming round we have discussed moving hoop to end of garden, DH will put a base down. AIBU in letting DS use his hoop in short bursts of 10/15 mins until this happens, he will be so disappointed if he can’t use today of all days since he’s only just got it. I was feeling really pleased that he’s getting into more sport and encouraging him rather than nagging him to get off his Computer and phone. Feeling a bit miffed and not sure who is being unreasonable here so would like some advice.

@BogglesGoggles dribbling (bouncing the ball) is part of playing basketball and skill practice what planet are you living on?

I can see how the NDN was irritated but the first day he got it? Not even a full hour of play?
I think she is being very unreasonable and dramatic.
It’s not as though he’s bouncing it against an interior wall and she cannot escape the noise. She can go inside and close her door. People who want uninterrupted peace should not live in suburban areas. Let the poor guy play with his birthday present!

You could always come to an agreement. If 45 mins is too much for her then agree to a reduced time. Or just ignore her.

Of course we immediately asked DS to stop

I wouldn't have done this. You've set a precedent now that you'll pander to her. I'd have told her to go fuck herself!

For goodness sake, the thing is a brand new ‘toy’ and a novelty. It’s one thing to complain if it’s been annoying you every day for a week, but the first day? It’s not as if it’s anti-social hours or hours on end. The things that people complain about boggle my mind.

As long as your ds isn’t bouncing the ball against a connecting wall, or her walls, or throwing it into her garden, then she needs to accept this is general playing noises. Is she older? No DCs? It amuses me that the older generation go on about how technology has replaced outdoors play that they used to enjoy, but then want to deny children doing what they used to do. TBH I think people are so used to not hearing children playing outdoors these days, that they pick up on any noise going on outside their home.

They are being OTT. If it was all day every day, I could see a neighbour getting upset.
Some people believe once their own DC grow up, the world must be silent, it is ridiculous.
This area is a mixed bag of older and younger parents, I grew up here, I know lots of the older parents, I played with their DC, Some act ridiculous they congregate at the end of their garden complaining about the DC playing in the large green area.
God forbid a child would enter their garden.
My DC make noise, never before 11am or after 8pm, it is as much consideration as I am offering.

My NDN teenage son plays basketball. He's always out in the garden bouncing the ball.
It drives me up the wall. I can hear him bouncing now. All weekend and most evenings. I've never said anything as I thought I would be unreasonable to ask him not to and I didn't want to be some kind of CF neighbour.

Plus I have 3 toddlers who all make a fair amount of noise in the garden despite me constantly telling them keep it down so I would feel cheeky and a bit rich commenting

No help except to say it is annoying sound but I think sometimes you have to just suck it up.

There's a difference between playing, say football in the garden and the continuous sound of a ball bouncing off a hard surface. The latter is like torture.

We used to live opposite a brick wall so kids from adjoining streets used to come and kick a football against the wall. Even five minutes is enough to drive you mad so I think the NDN has a point.

Better than my NDN kids’ bloody trampoline going SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK from 8am to 9pm all weekend

I think i'd rate them about evens. Two really annoying sounds.

No, because one activity was for 45 minutes, the other one was all day, until 9pm. The first wouldn't bother me (unless it went on for longer), the other one would drive me up the wall.

We bought DS a basketball hoop a few years ago, but TBH he never really used it as I agree that the noise is terrible...it sort of echoes in your head, and I was so aware of how loud it was and didn't want it annoying the neighbours that I asked him not to use it.

You could put one of those large outdoor rugs under it? They would really muffle the sound. I had a huge one from ikea I used to let the kids play on.

It will still bounce properly if you get the thin ones.

I know it isn't parking but we need a picture...

Surely the point is that the hoop's only just gone up and he was bouncing the ball for 45 minutes. That, of itself, is not unreasonable. But the NDN didn't/doesn't know that. He only stopped after 45 minutes because she came round and said something. How long would he have gone on for if she hadn't? She could well be thinking that as of today it's going to go on for hours, every day. And then yes, that amount of repetitive noise would be unreasonable.

Explain to her what your plans are, tell her if he goes on it until you move the hoop it will only be for 15 minutes at a time and only sometimes, and then move it as soon as is practicable.

I have spent the best part of the last 20 yrs listening to balls being bounced and kicked by my neighbours children and it is extremely wearing however it is their garden and I have to live with it . I actually think it gets more annoying to listen to as the children get older not only because they kick / throw the ball harder so it’s more noisy but also because I sit here thinking why can’t they just go to one of the multiple parks / play areas that are all within a five minute walk .

I would have told her to get stuffed in so many words.

I have sympathy with those of you who said the noise is very annoying. Our neighbour's two boys were repeatedly kicking a football against their wall until 9.50 last night (started about 7.00pm). You really do get to the point where the bouncing noise drives you crazy to be honest. But this seems like limited periods of noise at a reasonable time of day, so I think there needs to be a compromise if one can be found.

Argh! This would drive me bonkers too. Doing it for short bursts of 10-15 mins is no better to be honest. I'd be on tenterhooks all the time not knowing when next you'd be disturbed. Why not just do it for one fixed hour during the day?

Better idea to put it at the bottom of the garden though.

@Broombroomshaketheroom I do know how basketball works but I still don’t understand when he would be dribbling when he has a hoop (way more fun) unless they have a huge terrace or something (in which case I can see the fun but just standing there any bouncing it is a bit boring surely).

It's the repetitive noise - it doesn't matter what it is, it's like a constant drip, driving you mad.

We lived somewhere where the neighbours DS used to repeatedly kick the ball against our shared fence as he used the fence panel as a goal. Over...and over....and over endlessly. It used to set my teeth on edge but I would never have dreamt of saying anything. He was entitled to play in his own garden.
You sound like a considerate neighbour planning to move the hoop and restrict his play but it’s a shame he isn’t allowed to play when he likes.

People like that need to live in a cabin in the woods

I think it's completely reasonable to bounce a ball in your own garden. It's annoying yes, but so is someone complaining about something like this. The complaining that seems to be deemed reasonable drives me nuts.

If you are on good terms with the neighbour, perhaps go and explain - new hoop, novelty etc. Explain your plans to move the hoop, but this will require some weeks to get it sorted. In the interim your son will limit use to 30mins at time, ?3 times a day and never before/after certain times. Apologise for the noise, but also state it is a reasonable activity for a teen, and whilst you are trying to accommodate it in order to be good neighbours, there is no law against this and you are being more than generous to make this allowances to her.

And for the bouncing, there is a lot of bouncing pre and post shot - it is annoying, but hey that is life in the suburbs, if you want tranquility, best be buying somewhere further from neighbours in the country somwhere.

I think this sounds like reasonable noise and the neighbour should really get a grip.

I honestly don’t understand how things like this bother people. Can’t you just put the telly on, or play some music so you can’t hear it?
This is one of the joys of growing up in terrace house in a London council estate, there is so much constant noise, that things like kids making noises by playing don’t bother you.
Honestly, I can’t believe how miserable people are.