Husband rough 'play fighting '

[saffy1234]

AIBU for not wanting my husband to really roughly pin me down or squeeze me in apparent 'play fighting'.
He's just done it again ,came up behind me and squeezed me that hard i had to scream for him to get off me.I was nearly in tears.He's now sulking because it 'wasn't that hard',really fed up of it and say it every time he does it.

My now DH of 30 years used to hurt me, almost whenever he touched me it seemed. Every hug was a big bear hug, every hand hold was a squeeze, that sort of thing. BUT he would stop and reassess his grip, his touch etc if my eyes widened or my body stiffened, I raraley had to say anything. He worked on building sites, had very strong hands and upper body so his finer muscle control was a bit hit or miss comfort wise - but only for a few months! He learned quite quickly without shouting, sulking, or any nads being punched.

I never had any doubt it was accidental. Had I just once thoguht of it as a power trip, controlling I don't know what I would have one. I would hope I would have walked, left him to it!

I hope he IS contrite and neer does it again... but you need to work out what you will do if he continues to do it and explain it away as you being pathetic!

Fucking hell guys I didn't see the other post stating he was controlling, I therefore retract my PP about good in other ways because it is evident there is more to it.
But FYI I meant if OP knew he liked playfighting before marrying him and was ok with it to all of a sudden not being then wondering why he was abit taken aback then that IS unreasonable and there is obviously a huge lack of communication.
I enjoy playfighting with DH, it's about the only time I don't have to be a responsible adult and can act like a total kid, he isn't abusive and if he did show any red flags along side it then I would start to question if he was.
Play fighting, pranks, innapropraite jokes are not signs of abuse in a singular act it all comes down to what you find fun and enjoyable. Some couples are laidback and it's unfair to throw the "abuse card" around like it's a joke, just because you don't find it fun.
As I said thought i still retract my PP as I have now read OPs updates and see the bigger picture.

Oh and I have been in a DV relationship, have been a part of the freedom programme and do recognise signs of abuse.

But has he always done it? Meaning before you chose to have kids and marry him? If so then YABU.

Are you seriously suggesting the OP gives up any right over what her partner does to her body when she gets married? So say if they had sex every day before they were married he has the right to demand that forever for the rest of her life? That’s a disgusting view.

It's not abusive in anyway shape or form if he is otherwise a good man so I don't know why people automatically jump on that bandwagon hmm it really dumbs down actual abuse.

Oh course it’s abusive" he’s hurting her, he’s doing something to her she’s told him not to, and he’s trying to manipulate her by sulking. All those behaviours are abusive.

MissPolly Your views are horrific and dangerous. I’ve reported you.

@Lalliella literally laughing my arse off that you've reported me when TWICE I have said that I did not see the other posts and retracted my PP.

Oh and what a fucking reach going from play fighting to marital rape disgusting how you can even compare the two.

My ex boyfriend when I was 19 ish used to tickle me and I hated it. One day I had enough and spat in his face. He didn't do it any more.

Kick him in the balls. Horrid man.

Bluerussian (MissIllusioned, your son's what?)

I meant sons as in more than one. Autocorrect very kindly put an apostrophe in fore and I didn't spot it.

*for me! FFS!

My dad used to do similar (just to clarify - not in a sexual manner, just physically aggressive) and I had to put up with it for my entire childhood. There is no excuse for repeated behaviour that consistently hurts someone. It's abuse.

I had a step dad that did this to me.i didn’t cry at his funeral .

I feel for you op ,because I can remember the helpless hate I felt for him.my mum would back him up and say he was just playing ,and I was dramatic .
Hope you get it sorted out 😢💐

Thankyoy @Feelingwalkedover
Although some of the responses on here are the exact reason people avoid posting on here x