To think people on MN should be nicer?

[namehs]

Or anywhere on the internet for that matter.

I see a lot of threads with someone talking from a vulnerable position (especially on AIBU) to be given snarky comments or harsh responses.
I completely understand people giving their opinion but there's soo many nicer ways to do it rather than to comment on people's parenting and make nasty comments, you've got no idea what's going on behind the anonymous usernames on here.

Rant over! Apparently I'm sensitive this morning!

There is a difference between being an outright bitch for no reason and doing nothing but blow smoke up your ass, I agree.

But many people post here asking for help, and all the "poor yous" in the world won't actually solve anything, so a bit of plain speaking is sometimes needed.

YABU. I've said it many times before - this is AIBU, it's the bunfight topic, and it's really not meant for sensitive relationship / health issues or those who are having a crisis and need help or expert advice, precisely because it's harsher than the other forums and because it's full of the world and his wife spouting off and offering legal advice etc on things they know nothing about.

But people post in here "for traffic", when they would get much better support (albeit less of it) in another forum. Quality over quantity.

If youre the sensitive type dont post in aibu where theres no guarantee that people will agree with you

Or just have an autoreply bot that only posts yanbu on every post

I know MN is reducing boards, but I really think they should start a board called

"I've just joined MN and these are the things that need to change"

OPs could get bonus points for using the words

nicer
bullies
bunch of bitches
hysterical
vile
spiteful
vulgar
swearing
snobs

actually even more points if OP admits they have not looked any further than AIBU.
and it was probably some clicky batey link they followed to AIBU in the first place.

I dont agree. If it is a topic of a sensitive nature, I think people are helpful. But for topics like 'I hate my MIL', or 'my dh is texting colleague, is he a twat', you are going to get different responses.

I totally agree!! I've been shocked at some of the responses more recently on Mumsnet.

A perfectly resealable question or thread always has to end up with some bullying, vindictive comments that spoil it.

Or people get overly sensitive and starts taking comments personally when someone is just giving an opinion.

Really annoying I agree OP!

Yeah cause women should always be "nice" above everything else.
What is the world coming to when women are anything but nice?

Yeah cause women should always be "nice" above everything else. What is the world coming to when women are anything but nice?

This. Fuck being nice just because. I think women should find their anger and stop accepting appalling behaviour out of fear of offending and not appearing 'nice'. It's such a shitty blah word anyway.

Fuck nice. Nice is for biscuits.

If you want a pat on the back and an "awww poor you" go and visit Netmums. If you want the truth, visit Mumsnet.

Sometimes plain speaking is needed. If you want an , 'aww poor you' type response you would ask your real life friends however sometimes I think people are harsh just for the sake of it. I have come across some posts where the OP probably is unreasonable but could do with some constructive advice.

You can speak plainly without swearing

Some people take it too far, I would agree with you there.

Not everyone seems to consider that there is a sometimes vulnerable poster at the other end of the username, and pile ons happen.

It must scare off some people in genuine need of help, although I know there are trolls too and it can be hard to judge.

No. Because then it would just be a load of wishy washy advice that is no use to man nor beast. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Sometimes people can't face the truth or accept fact.

YABU. Some people are mean for sport. But I also think there is a mob mentality that kicks in so people follow the leader of the gang with increasingly mean comments

I suspect the mean ones on here wouldn't dream of saying the things they say to anyone's face.

You can speak plainly without swearing

You can eat your supper without salt and pepper. Doesn't mean you will, though, because they add flavour just as swear words add flavour.

I assume you've just joined and now want to change everything with which the rest of us who have been here for years are perfectly happy. If you don't like it hit the X in the top right corner. If you want unicorns and sparkles, Nethuns is that way -->

You can speak plainly without swearing

I could but I don't fucking want to.

Agree with pp, if you want ‘nice’ netmums is that way >>>

If you want honest opinions without having to comply with an outdated social construct of women being all fluffy kittens and rainbows then jump on board. Much the same as if you want to surround yourself with fake nice ‘huns’ (who will still presumably still have opinions- just either don’t express them or in my experience just express them to others behind your back).

Reading or taking part in threads or coming to Mumsnet at all is a choice - if you don’t like it then don’t do it. Simple really.

As for speaking plainly without swearing, sure - but I fucking love swearing & as an aside I was pleased to read this article which explains how the more potty mouthed amongst us are likely to be not only more intelligent, but happier, healthier & more honest.. ;)

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/health-benefits-of-swearing_n_5a5e44a8e4b0106b7f65b3a6/amp

Yeah cause women should always be "nice" above everything else. What is the world coming to when women are anything but nice?

Exactly. Two guys at work the other day were talking about how ‘violent’ the women’s football has been. I told them it was because women are all fucking cross most of the time but society expects us to be nice.

Being harsh doesn’t make anyone’s advice ‘better’ although some people seem to think it does. Personally I’d rather take advice from someone that doesn’t think they are doing me a favour by being harsh. Id just switch off!

Swearing certainly adds flavour but it also adds aggression. That's the last thing this society needs more of.

Well I agree with you op, i've been quite taken aback by a few comments recently. People wouldn't dream of being this unpleasant and rude in real life but feel entitled to swear and bully people online...... it's all very odd.

Ooh, has somebody joined so they can tell the gentle ladyfolk what to do?

I think, on the whole, people are decent enough here. I agree there's no need to be spiteful for the sake of it, but but disagreeing with someone, you especially when they've asked for an opinion, isn't nasty.

When people overstep the mark, other posters put them straight fairly quickly