To think people on MN should be nicer?

[namehs]

Or anywhere on the internet for that matter.

I see a lot of threads with someone talking from a vulnerable position (especially on AIBU) to be given snarky comments or harsh responses.
I completely understand people giving their opinion but there's soo many nicer ways to do it rather than to comment on people's parenting and make nasty comments, you've got no idea what's going on behind the anonymous usernames on here.

Rant over! Apparently I'm sensitive this morning!

I do so love it when the old I bet they wouldn't say that to someone's face trope is trotted out, because, yes, I would absolutely say to someone's face what I say on here.

Fuck nice. Some people need a verbal slap and some advice not mollycoddling.

It's an anonymous forum. Some posters are just bitter keyboard warriors, it's obvious they are just bursting with rage and anger and don't dare saying a word in real life. they tend to claim having some kind of high level expertise in a subject too. Just ignore them.

Others will tell you what they really think. They would be politically correct and diplomatic in real life, but would still think it and possibly talk behind your back.

A safe example: no one will tell you that poems asking for cash on wedding invitations are absolutely cringing. In real life, most people will either groan or laugh because they think it's ridiculous but not to your face.

On MN, you get the non-filtered view.

YABU

I think mumsnet is actually often wonderfully supportive of posters in vulnerable positions or who are going through a shit time.

AIBU however by it's nature invites debate and discussion. If you aren't prepared to be told that your view is in fact unreasonable then AIBU isn't really the best place to post.

It’s irritating when people are nice just for the sake of it. It’s like they want an award.

It’s never going to be all cuddly teddy bears in here (thank God). But YANBU to think there’s a lot of people who just want to an excuse to give someone a kicking, and dress it up as “harsh truths” or “plain speaking” to pretend that said kicking is selflessly doing the OP a favour.

See especially, people who jump in on a 300-post thread to lay into the OP without bothering to check of the OP’s already accepted the previous advice or not.
“AIBU to think DP was being a cock here?”
“Yeah, you are a bit, sounds like he was just worried.”
“Oh okay, fair enough. We’ve both had a horrible week, I’ll apologise to him tonight.”
(several hundred posts later)
“God YOU sound like hard work! Your poor DP, he should leave you immediately, I’d help him pack just to get away from someone like you if I could...”

Oh! Another weekend warrior asking The Wimmins, pushers of prams, uterus havers, to play nice!

Nice backwards user name by the way!

@CuriousaboutSamphire hmmm good point there about the name,

Yes there are some really vile posters here, can’t put their point across without being rude. Also can’t get over how many invent or imagine things that are not in the op, but the most shocking thing for me is the hysteria and sheer ability to blow things out of proportion. It’s ridiculous!

YABU

Most people on Mumsnet are nice and sympathetic. A lot of help is gained from posters on here. However, sometimes a person will come out with something tactless, usually a gut reaction to the opening post or inappropriately worded. It's not meant to be horrible.

I would be comfortable to share a problem on Mumsnet if I needed to off load - and take any flak.

It's not meant to be horrible.

I admire your faith in human nature.

"I do so love it when the old I bet they wouldn't say that to someone's face trope is trotted out, because, yes, I would absolutely say to someone's face what I say on here."

Same. My friends value my honesty and I theirs. I'm in my late 40's I'm too old to be dealing with people who can't cope with honest, clear communication. Frankly it weeds out those I wouldn't want to be friends with anyway.

I can't be doing with liars, hypocrites or those who don't have the courage of their convictions.

"I think mumsnet is actually often wonderfully supportive of posters in vulnerable positions or who are going through a shit time" me too. I actually really like being able to help posters out and have had excellent advice myself and even made "virtual friends" with some posters who I regularly pm with (although not at the moment due to tech issues).

I've been very proud to be part of mn in helping posters with various issues.

A few months back a poster wrote something like

"On mn we might not tell you what you want to hear but we'll tell you what you need to hear"

And yes interesting username

It’s irritating when people are nice just for the sake of it. It’s like they want an award.

For which, see every poster typing "didn't want to read and run", almost always to a poster who is distressed or anxious.

Imagine refreshing the screen, desperately hoping for useful advice or help, only to see that self-indulgent virtue signalling?

Personally I don't think people should post on AIBU for 'traffic'.

Jeez those of us who've been here for years know exactly what AIBU is for.

And just for the record, I'm not feeling nice today, I'm feeling very angry towards some men.

And I like swearing, it helps me vent my frustration rather than swear at the dog.