To cancel psychology appointment for Monday

[SimplySteveRedux]

Not sure I can take much more of this "impending doom" pressure. First appointment with this doctor, had no psychological input for over three years, shitting myself and the mental feeling is so fucked up. My heart rate is up,,my blood pressure is up and I can only sleep in chunks of an hour/two hours here and there.

I know I need this therapy though, thanks to my childhood, but actually following through and doing it is so hard.

Thinking I should cancel and carry on with the fucked-up childhood rolling round my head (I've been told by numerous professionals in the past, including doctors, I have PTSD and CPTSD, this would be the "official stamp" on it).

Should I just cancel?

Nope, you should go.

No.
You made the appointment for good reasons, they are still good reasons.
Accept that going is hard and you feel uncomfortable about it. Then take a deep breath and acknowledge that you need to go.
Focus on a reward you can give yourself for going and how quickly it will be over.
You can do this.

The thought of opening up to someone scares the living hell out of me. There's so much that happened that I've never disclosed, even to 20+ year DP. It's just so hard and my anxiety is through the roof.

Definitely go. In the long term, hard as it can be go get yourself there at first, not going is way harder. You can do it

ITs worth it. It can change your life so much.

*to get yourself there, sorry

You don't even have to 'open up', just say you've experienced trauma and are looking for stabilisation/grounding coping skills.

Feels like I need to open up though, GP has been prescribing diazepam for about six months but she wants a psychological/psychiatric dr to "justify my use".

You don't have to say more than you are comfortable with, you are in control of what you say and when you say it.

From my own experience, it's not a case of introduce yourself and then immediately unpack everything. You only ever have to tell them what you're comfortable with, and only at your own pace

The waiting list for NHS appointments are way too long. Please go so that you can start to get to the end of what could be best for you in the 'long run' sooner. They will probably not be able to fill the appointment time as effectively at this point so everyone is a winner if you go.
Good luck, you are worth it.

It sounds like it is the anxiety talking. Please go. Take each second at a time. Your anxiety may get worse before it gets better but it will get better.

Thank you. I think my anxiety will get rather bad today, hopefully I can push through it and go.

GP has been prescribing diazepam for about six months but she wants a psychological/psychiatric dr to "justify my use"

Thank your lucky stars you have a competent GP who is using their professional specialist networks to get you in front of the right people to ensure your medication is appropriate.

Use the appointment to give the specialist information and background about what has happened in your life and give them the context of why your GP has prescribed the diazepam.

You might as well go now, you've already had the anxiety and sleepless nights. If you cancel you'll have to go through all that again next time.
Make a list of some things you feel you need to open up about and hand it to the psych. Just say you can't talk about it yet but these are the issues.
They will be used to that.

Go. I have CPTSD and my psychologist is my lifeline

Definitely go. I had therapy for a few years, diagnosed with CPTSD. I had the same feelings, the doom, anxiety, insomnia. It changed my life, I feel like a different person. Go, it's not going to be easy, it never is, but it will be worth it

Please go. Tell her you're scared and it needs to be slow and trusting. It's a chance to unpack the junk and move towards self acceptance and peace. Good luck.

Go. It’s totally understandable that you’re scared but it’ll be worth it. This is you moving forward and you’re allowed and able to do that! Be brave and good luck x

Don’t cancel the appointment. Maybe write some notes they can look at to help you get started?

Please go. Some years ago I was in exactly the same position as you (including wanting to cancel) and now I pinpoint that first appointment as the start of my getting better.

Another one here saying you should go.
Can you practice some relaxation techniques to help with your immediate anxiety?
Often the first step is the hardest. See if you can focus on how much better you'll feel after the therapy, imagine yourself free of the worst of your fears. Concentrate on that, rather than the process.

The hardest this will ever be is the first time you go. Once you’ve got in there once you’ll always know you can do it again. I know it’s scary, I know it’s big and it feels too much, but you can do this! Diazepam is a fabulous tool to get you through a bad day, but it won’t get you through a whole life. This is an opportunity for real change, grab it with both hands.

So many encouraging, supportive posts. Thank you, I'm going to try and push through and go. The centre just closed so I'm unable to cancel my appointment now, and it's first thing in the morning. So I just need to push through tonight. I'm definitely going to write some notes too.

So sorry to those who've needed therapy and @Grumpbum123 and @MrsFrankCastle for having CPTSD.

I love MN for this kind of amazing support, thanks so, so much

Good luck x