Who's being unreasonable about the holiday?

[aloeveraplant]

So need some outside perspective on this one.
DS is 19 and a first year at university. Every summer we go on a family holiday, but this is the first year that his brother won't be able to come as he has a job. Neither of them have ever contributed financially towards the family holiday, even his brother who came last year when he was 23. Since DS started uni in September, DH and I have been on 3 holidays abroad, so we are only going for a week this summer.

DS won a scholarship at university for travelling over the summer, and offered to us that if we go to a region of his choice then he'd pay for his own flights to come with us. This was fine, as the flights and cost of the region he wanted to go is the same as where we go every other summer. Plus, I wanted to go the region he chose. And we save money through paying just 2 sets of flights instead of 3.

Now we have flights booked, we are trying to find accommodation. DS thinks he deserves a say in the accommodation, as in his eyes he's partially funding the holiday. We told DS to look for accommodation with a budget of £1500 for the week, but DH has found somewhere for £800 that he likes, but it's not in the town DS wanted to stay in.

Should DS get a say? Or should he just suck it up?

Oh, come on, OP, you're being ridiculous. He shouldn't have to make that long bus journey for his actual academic work, and you shouldn't be changing the budget goalposts on him by that amount either. Find somewhere near where he needs to be and if you and DH really want to stay in the other place, do that on one of your other many holidays.

You’re being mean.

You sound really mean

Why did you agree to go on holiday with your son, knowing he had a specific location he needs to go to with the money provided? You are either going on holiday with him as a family (to the town he specified) or going as a couple, in which case why did you agree to go with your son?

It sounds as though your DS is sensible and resourceful.
Go to nearer his study centre and give him a break!
It's great he wants to go on holidays with you after all

I think it's mean too but can't imagine expecting or letting my own children pay to go on the family holiday.

You are going on your fourth holiday of the year.
You would normally take your sons away in summer for a fortnight at your expense. This year you decided to go for just one week with your son, not the fortnight he would have normally enjoyed.
Your son is actually going to study, not for a holiday, and so has to pay for his flights (from a scholarship he has won) . He may get some time to relax himself with you. He is not going on any other holiday.
You want him to spend 3 hours a day traveling to complete the necessary study, for the privilege of staying with you, on your fourth holiday.
Hmm, are YBU ? You really have to ask?

My first proper foreign holiday was last year, I paid for my nearly all my adult daughters expenses as I was just chuffed she wanted to holiday with us. I think you are being very unfair, he might as well go on this own to the centre he needs to stay at.