Friend claiming benefits when living with an ex partner/father of child

[raininthesummer]

NC'd but asking on behalf of vulnerable friend who is single with a toddler.

My friend currently lives with her ex her mother's tiny flat is overcrowded with her adult children who have all finished uni/low wage etc., , and doesn't want to be removed from housing association's waiting list as her mother lives in a different borough.

She started claiming benefits the moment her ex spent all the money from their joint claim as she planned to re-pay debts incurred from basic living expenses as her ex wouldn't support her and she had to take on a zero hours job with sporadic hours. From this, she also had to pay for childcare in order for her to work at this job.

She has been unsuccessful in gaining a job- I think from stress with money and lack of confidence/low self esteem from her selfish ex not wanting to support her.

Now she is under investigation because she is still at the address, despite sleeping in her toddler's room and absolutely terrified as she doesn't want to move in fear of homelessness or losing her child to ex, and also from possibly having to re-pay benefits in case they see her as still being in a relationship.

What can I do to support her?

Forgot to add.

Her ex is letting her live there rent and bill free as long as she keeps the house clean. He doesn't take on any childcare but has a relationship with the child.

What benefits is she claiming?
She could get into a lot of trouble for fraud.
I would help her get her cv in order, make an appointment at the council for housing.

It is possible to claim as a single person whilst living with an ex. The DWP will look at several factors in making a determination, such as financial links, how other people view their relationship, sleeping arrangements. Who buys her food? Would GP/ health visitor etc know that they are not together? Did she declare that she was living with her ex when she first claimed?

If she has been called for a compliance interview then she needs to be honest and provide any information they ask for.

She's on universal credit.

This is actually quite awful that she could get done for fraud just because ex is financially abusive.

She she just stop the claim?

Who would "other people" be? I don't think she's told anyone else besides close friends that she's not with ex

I would suggest she goes to the CAB and asks for their advice.
Can the EX not leave the home?

She buys own food for her and DD and they eat together. Ex doesn't eat with them as he's always out the house.

I think she's told GP that she's no longer with ex.

I'm really worried for her as she suffers from anxiety and depression, which has been made worse with this whole situation.

Does she need a legal representation? or some other advocate because she's vulnerable?

The flat belongs to ex. She is on the housing association register for housing but if she moves she will be removed.

I know you could claim years ago whilst living with an ex because I had to whilst divorcing. I'd suggest she calls Shelter or CAB for proper advice though.

They have asked her for the tenancy agreement although she's not named/ Why would they ask for that? They didn't when she lived at her mother's. But as said before, she can't move back there as she'll be removed from the housing list and there's no room as a sibling has moved back in after finishing university.

She was in touch with CAB but they redirected her to the Law Society to speak to a solicitor. This is all very awful, God.

I'd suggest she calls Shelter or CAB for proper advice though.

Also try Women's Aid

Has she been called for an interview under caution? How long has she been claiming for?

I take it she's not claiming for housing costs?

If she closes her claim they'll still investigate what has happened up to now.

If her GP can confirm that she has told them about the breakup that would be helpful. The test for living as a couple is about building up a picture of the claimant's life, whether to an outside person (no one in particular, just any bystander) they would be seen as a couple or not.

Unfortunately the benefits system is not supportive of women trying to leave abusive relationships.

Good suggestion about Women's Aid. They'll be more understanding of her situation.

When she registered with the council/ housing association, has she told them she needs to move because she has separated? This would also be good evidence of them not being together.

She's been claiming for 1 month. She hasn't told the HA because she doesn't want them to remove her, so they probably think they're still a couple.

She doesn't want WA involved in case they alert SS- She doesn't want this.

She's trying desperately hard to find a job, any job so that she doesn't have to claim. But she has weekly expenses and debt to pay off. Plus, as she has a child, there are certain jobs she can't do because they start too early/late or are night shifts. Childcare expenses on top of this- childcare is all down to her.

The HA situation- She joined them as her ex's partner. That's how she got on the list, as a provisional member. But if she's leaves, without full membership which will happen next year for her, is that she'll have to leave the list and then can't apply for one of their properties.

So are they DWP/HMRC or whoever it is watching her?

Why would woman’s aid involve social services?

If she is living there rent free then why is there a problem. She only needs to tell them its rent free does she not. She will still be entitiled to money to live of just not the housing benefit.

If she is living there rent free then why is there a problem. She only needs to tell them its rent free does she not. She will still be entitiled to money to live of just not the housing benefit

They want the tenancy agreement- why?. She's and her DD are named as living there not as tenants, so it's not like she can kick ex out.

The problem is- She's terrified at what could happen. Maybe it's because she's depressed/anxious I don't know, but she got her self in to debt to get by and claimed as a last resort after ex spent the first payment as they paid it to him- Why did they do this?. Last job was temporary and she didn't manage to get a job even though she want to lots of interviews, paid all that on travel.

I'l just put it down to her overthinking things due to her mental condition.

She needs to get herself to CAB or similar and get help from a benefit adviser. Cohabitation cases are really a minefield, and it is the easiest thing in the world for a claimant to trip themselves up.

She should make sure she has someone to accompany her if she gets called to a meeting. She needs to be utterly clear and consistent that her relationship with her ex is over, in part because of his financial abuse. If she can produce bank statements, receipts etc or any other evidence to support this, that will help.

She will need to establish that they now live entirely separate lives, demonstrate that he buys and cooks his own food and that they eat completely separately, that they don't socialise together, spend their evenings together and so on.

Another thing that the DWP take into account is whether or not family and friends regard them as a couple, so any evidence of her telling people that they've split up, eg FB screenshots, texts, anything like that, dated before or very soon after she started her single claim will help.

She really does need specialist advice though.

She needs to explain to DWP and to Council Housing Dept, that she's had to move out of her Mum's due to overcrowding, and therefore had to move into her XP's place TEMPORARILY, out of desperation, that they have NOT resumed a relationship, and that she's now effectively homeless.

She should be prepared to go into temporary accommodation, if it is offered.

she got her self in to debt to get by and claimed as a last resort after ex spent the first payment as they paid it to him- Why did they do this?

Because that's how UC works: the money goes to the person who starts the claim. There is provision in the regulations now for split payments in abusive relationships, but I'm afraid I don't know how to get that implemented, as my clients are invariably single.

The potential for hardship for abuse victims was flagged as a concern at a very early point in the consultation for UC, but the goverment were blinded by dogma and didn't take a blind bit of notice.

LakieLady is right that other people's understanding of the relationship is important. You could write a “to whom it may concern” letter explaining what she’d told you (at the time, rather than since the investigation started) and attaching screen shots of any texts/WhatsApps/emails.

Does her ex own the flat? That was the conclusion I jumped to when you said it "belongs" to the ex.

If I was right, she doesn't need a tenancy agreement as her status is akin to a lodger, albeit one who lives rent-free in exchange for cleaning. In fact, as she has no rental liability, why would there be a tenancy agreement?

However, if I've got that wrong, and the flat is rented, that's a bit more awkward. If it's rented in joint names, she shoul provide it. If it's just in his, he will already have provided it in connection with his claim.

Actually, if they accept her case that they're not a couple, then that puts him in the wrong if he hasn't reported that he's now single.

She really must get advice, this is proper messy.