Friend claiming benefits when living with an ex partner/father of child

[raininthesummer]

NC'd but asking on behalf of vulnerable friend who is single with a toddler.

My friend currently lives with her ex her mother's tiny flat is overcrowded with her adult children who have all finished uni/low wage etc., , and doesn't want to be removed from housing association's waiting list as her mother lives in a different borough.

She started claiming benefits the moment her ex spent all the money from their joint claim as she planned to re-pay debts incurred from basic living expenses as her ex wouldn't support her and she had to take on a zero hours job with sporadic hours. From this, she also had to pay for childcare in order for her to work at this job.

She has been unsuccessful in gaining a job- I think from stress with money and lack of confidence/low self esteem from her selfish ex not wanting to support her.

Now she is under investigation because she is still at the address, despite sleeping in her toddler's room and absolutely terrified as she doesn't want to move in fear of homelessness or losing her child to ex, and also from possibly having to re-pay benefits in case they see her as still being in a relationship.

What can I do to support her?

The best way to help her would be to book and go with her to an appointment with whoever the CAB have reccomended. She needs legal advice. If she is being abused by the "ex" financially or otherwise and has been coerced into this situation this must be raised. It will help if she has spoken to a DV service like women's aid. And as a pp said, she may be advised to also declare herself homeless and take temporary accommodation or even a refuge. It sounds to me that the "ex" knows exactly what he's doing and her depression and anxiety fits with her experiencing abuse. She might feel ashamed for going back to him and could be hiding how bad things are. If you can persuade her to go back to gp and tell the truth too he/ she can back her up too. Fear of social services involvement also indicates abuse. I'm glad she has a friend like you to help.

Your friend should inform the housing association about the domestic abuse she is being subjected to. I'm sure she would be made a higher priority for housing.