To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

choices not choives

to the op. I often wonder the same as it would seem so alien to me to wish to do this.

help would be great... to do the housework, gardening, shopping, cooking ect.
if I didn't have to worry about doing all that, then just caring for the kids might be even more enjoyable than it already is. but then, I dont even feel the need for that. aren't I wonderful!

(cue. a slatting for being so smug )

whatever works for u

i do not think about anyone else childcare/domestic arrangements frankly because we are so diverse, that many things work for many people. if u gathered a group of madults togehter and questioned how they were raised/weaned/family routine/family values/sahm or working mum u would get a multitude of answers all varied, all diverse and all probably right for that individual

imo the anonimity of internet discussions can generate heightened opinions/entrenched debate because it-is-not-real-life-just-a-bunch-of-anonymous-strangers-with-time-pc's-and-opinions-they-p robably^-wouldnt-say-so-vociferiously^

i think in real life when we encounter the myriad of choices we all make (inc differnt ones to ourself) we are less judgemental, probably not giving it more than a cursory thought

Scottishmummy - this thread has been going going on for days and I have had about 750 out of 804 saying the same as you - although you are probably the first to actually try and convince me that you don't judge.......
However I think it is ridiculous to prioritise material things in front of your child whether that be they are 1 month, 5 or 15.
Its the premeditated organisation of maternity nurses and nannies that makes me cringe. At least take your maximum maternity leave or go back part-time at first if you can afford it - which these people can. Trade in the BMW for a corsa. Drop a private massage a week or perhaps get a normal decorator to paint your house rather than a ridiculously overpriced team of decorators.

To Blue - yes I work full time

To Happy Daddy - do not heap too much of a burden of expectation on Jehovah - you have replaced the chore of washing the dishes with the chore of stacking the dishwasher ... you save some time but not much IME

my mother grew up with nothing and motivated us to better ourselves by the promise of material things in our future if we worked hard. Worked quite well with a teenager, not so sure I would have been so enthused by the promise of eternal happiness as a 13 yr old. I must be shallow.

"premeditated organisation" - so a random and sudden decision on a whim to get a nanny is OK?! Sure thats not what you meant. Are you seriously saying that what you don;t like is that they planned it?

Gogetter - what careers to these people have? Why are you so certain that they are able to take full maternity leaves and go back part-time?

And - not meaning to cause offence - but why is it any of your business?

I am exceptionally lucky to work four days - most companies would not consider their Finance Director working part-time.

I'm sure she means something along the lines of -get help if/when you need it- rather than -right, lets get pregnant, check. cot, pram, clb book, check. maternity nurse, nanny, au-pair check.

it may surprise people how well they could cope and, god forbid, enjoy their children! if they could get near them from the start as nature intended

(stands up) my name is preggerspoppet and I judge (sits down)

i am a pretty organised person and on mat leave and with bubba i am routined/orderd because i like it suits me... i live in as much hartmony as my happy-chaos pals, whatever works i say and as i have emphasised dont really think about anyone else choices just my own - i have enough to do checking my filo to see when i have booked tesco to arrive or what baby class have i booked

that was to kewcumber re premeditated organisation

If answering a question on a public forum is none of gogetter's business, then I guess it's no-one's business.

We'd best all bugger off then

But the premeditation point is absolute tosh, isn't it? I mean how do you go about spontaneously recruiting a maternity nurse and/or nanny and/or au-pair?

Are you seriously expecting a nanny to appear on the doorstep a la Mary Poppins?

lol my spelling is applalling spellcheck missing it all as i type at speed. dont know how people find the time/inclination to ponder other mums situations- cant be arsed myself.. mebbe when i dont have drool on my clothes, or everything sorted ,or dont have an impending have-i-lost-forgotten-something-vibe
then i might have time to ponder other folks childcare...LOL but that day will never come

Kewcumber - You may technically work and get paid for 4 days a week, but I bet my bottom dollar that you do considerably more than full time hours.

oh god I planned my CM ahead. it was one less thing to stress about when it was sorted. Is it really not understandable to plan these things ahead?

I planned ahead too - because I had to! How is it possible not to plan ahead?

< quattro sounds like a broken record>

you are missing my point

Actually mingming - I don't work 9-5pm (cut from normal hours of 5.30) amd occasionally (and I mean very occasionally) I do an hour or two at home in the evening (maybe once a month).

The company get an experienced FD they couldn't afford in any other curcumstances so they are happy.

missed a strategic comma there "I dont, work 9-5pm"

That's excellent. I know so many women who work 4 days a week for 80% of the pay, but in reality put in at least as many hours as a FT employee and are on the phone all day Friday to work.

no I am really very ;ucky. On teh other hand. I earn half of what i did 5 yrs ago - no big bonuses, high salary etc so you could say that I work 4 days for 50% of the salary . Still can't complain, I earn more than most people would consider enough.

dd and ds were on nursery wait lists when I was 5 mths' pregnant. I would have put them down earlier except the risk of miscarrying was still too high. Ds registered on private school wait lists from birth. How is that for planning and spontaneity?

Anyone who has to go back to work has to plan in advance. I know so many SAHMs with vague intentions about going back to work, but who years later have yet to make that move. You have to really drive things forward on childcare to get back to work within a decent time frame. This is even if you want to go back to work after months, not just days or weeks.

I am not surprised a maternity nurse and nanny has to be lined up even before the birth.