To wonder why people have children when they clearly put their career first, by having a 24hr maternity nurse from day one and a full-time nanny from 3 months?

[gogetter]

Call me old fashioned but why bother when you are going to see your child for maybe an hour a day on weekdays?
It's not financially needed for mum to return to work (far from) so why leave your teeny weeny baby with a nanny during the most amazing time of their lifes?

A bit strange I fear!

Doesn't anyone think it's about time granparents were paid to look after their grandkids so mums can work? Traditionally they always have done, for centuries, and surely much more preferable to a nanny if you are lucky enough for them to do it.

even!

NO, of course not...but then, that is probably even a rarer scenario....well, and the mum would probably not be gallivanting about, etc...
but I can see where you are getting it of course not always is what you see what is actually happening....

Mary Rose...now that would be great...wouldn't it....

In an ideal world...maybe we should petition or new Prime Minister?!!!!

Now I am back at work 9having got bored of all those new hairstyles and lunches-AS IF!) my mum looks after the youngest part time, they don't need the money but if grandparents who did could be paid I think people would probably find it more acceptable than hiring a nanny.

Maryrose - I agree with you. If the grandparents are agree then this the perfect solution. If the parents need care for their children so that they can work, for whatever reason, so much the better if that person is part of their loving family and can instill some of the shared family values and history as well.

Ah but then maryrose - you run into the value the older members of our community can give to the workplace! Another hot topic! My mum still works and in her job - her experience and patience is making her get promoted and poached by other depts year on year! LOL - i couldnt afford my mum as my nanny!

My mother is too busy being rather eminent in her own field!

True, it wold have to be their choice. My mum still does occasional supply teaching so she doesn't go stir crazy being with my dad all day but she can fit it round me. Guess we're lucky.

3andnomore - I agree, very rare; but it could be the case - along with many other things (someone very early on said what about PND? not always obvious to people and very well hidden if you want to). Life isnt easy and judging people for their choices cannot make life easier. But I guess we all do that on some level day in day out. we cant help it i guess.

I just wish parents of every walk of live were allowed to make their choices and not be allocated into a 'good parent/ bad parent' category as a result.

Dal, in that perfect worls, we would never be judged...but you are right, we are judged all the time...it doesn't matter what you do anywya, you can't do right for doing wrong anyway....

Maryrose - you are lucky. am preggers with my first one and would love to have my mum on hand to help out. but she is close enough for lots of qual time with us on weekends!

We live too far from family to ask them to help with childcare. We can't afford for one of us to stay at home anymore.

If that makes us bad parents in your book, I won't read your poxy book.

Lucky most of the time-unfortunately as she helps me out so much I have to bite my lip when I get lectured on her superior parenting style!!!!!

3nomore - LOL, soo true. really cannot do right for doing wrong! think that encapsulates this thread! you damned if you are, you are damned if you don't!

anywya...oops...spend far far far to much time on here...was meant to do some cleaning and then there is that shopping...sigh....I probbaly deserve the worst mother award right now, for spending so much time on here....but thanks to the trampoline outside, my Kids don't even seem to notice if I am here anyway, lol....

Ah maryrose - tis a small price to pay! My mum frequently has my nephew for 5-7 days when she has half term etc. and one time she had him, she returned him to SIL completely potty trained! In one week! I kid you not! My bro and SIL were so grateful. I take my hat off to my mums superior parenting! (think though that my nephews quick aptitude had a part to play too!)

I had better get back to work too!

Don't know how those at work find the time to join in these debates - you would think they had too much else to do .

Kind of wish I had stayed lurking on the fringes of MN instead of joining in this week - it seems to have taken up too much of my time today already.

I agree with that one. Kids cost money, and if you're not prepared to do without your luxuries you'll have to work. but that's everyone's personal choice.

Kerrymumbledore. Excuse me.

My child is very loved, very happy and developing nicely, thank you.

I know my circumstances, whereas you don't. So please, don't dismiss my "we can't afford for one of us to live at home" statement.

Niecie - we're on teleconferences (or at least I am). Just need to listen very carefully in case someone seeks your input, and remember to take the phone off mute before speaking.

There are probably even some MNetters charging clients in 6 minute units for this

wow kerry - nothing like coming back in swinging with your judgement and sweeping generalisations!

so question to those posters on here where both your partner and you work? lets take a poll. do you all have 2 expensive cars, a large house, and holidays in the sun. (Kerry can you help out here and provide me with a definition of 'expensive?' - £20k? £60k? £100k? and 'large' - bigger than 2/3/4 bedrooms)