You happy? Why?

[sayalittlerayer]

If you are how have you achieved this, if you're not what needs to happen for you to find happiness?

I'm not entirely convinced that it's possible to be happy or even that we should strive for that. Maybe content half the time and sad the other half? Being unhappy can spur you to make changes too, which can be positive or at least make life less boring.

That being said I feel like if I used my uni degree I might feel more fulfilled. Studied for 6 years to get there (a national certificate, then an access course, then a bachelors) and it sometimes feels like a waste. Though it did take me to a new area and I experienced things I might not otherwise.

It seems that the "grass is always greener" though. I once sat on a train thinking the view on the opposite seats looked better..moved to them and gazed longingly at the ones I'd just been sat on!! Maybe if I got that job, the view would look different. Parenthood certainly feels that way (though granted it can be more demanding parenting before kids go to school!) X

I personally find that I’m never happy and always want just a little more than I’ve got. I’m trying to work on this! I suspect happiness has a lot to do with recognising when you should be happy with your lot and counting your blessings (assuming you’re in a decent domestic and financial situation).

Sorry, that sounds like I’m saying poor people can’t be happy. I just didn’t want to imply that someone in an abusive relationship or living through severe financial hardship just needs to look around and count their blessings to feel happy.

I'm happy. I have a good job with people I like, I love the house I live in & I love my partner of the past 11 years. I have tough times but am grateful for what I have, we could have more but would rather be happy & stress free

I'm disabled, in pain every day, use a walking frame, have had three pre-ops, still waiting for the operation to remove my right hip prosthesis which has shifted out of its socket. It won't be replaced as bones are like egg shell so leg won't be attached to rest of me so why am I happy?

I wake up every morning and I'm still breathing. That works for me.

I'm happy. New parent to a wonderful 10 week old. Happy marriage. Lovely house with lots of animals. Good job to go back to after mat leave. I do think that happiness can be chosen - I think we have a lot more control over how we feel than people realise.

I’m happy. I have great family, a few friends, an ok job and enough money to pay the bills and eat. Maybe I’m easily pleased but I don’t really care much for material things. The only thing that slightly detracts from my happiness is that I worry a lot.

I am happy. I would love to have more money, stop working, and take my kids around the world every time they break from school, but I am still happy.
I love my current life, I fancy my DH and he still makes me laugh, I am really lucky with my kids, I have a decent size house, we manage to spend a lot of time together. I still want a lot more but the most important thing is that I feel free: I can quit my job anytime and get another one, I could sell and buy something else if I wanted. Yeah, pretty happy.

I'd love to know if being rich would make me happier

Happiness is a temporary response to pleasing events. I think contentment is more sustainable. Being in control of your own life and responsible for your own decisions is important.

Have low expectations of what life should be like and surround yourself with kind people.

I do sometimes wonder if people are just predisposed towards happiness.

I've always felt relatively optimistic even when I've been on the bones of my arse (living in a hostel at a young age, making very poor life choices with very nasty people and seeing some awful things). I don't think it's resilience or attitude at all, any more than I think depression is a lack of resilience.

If it helps, I'm the sort of annoying twat that gets cheered up by a walk in a sun. And enjoys the sound of rain on my hood when the weather's shite. I think if I had kids, it's the one thing I'd want them to inherit, above money or intelligence or anything like that.

Hope that doesn't make me sound like an arsehole. But if depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance, why can't happiness?

I think people who expect to be happy all the time are unrealistic. Contentment most of the time is a better goal. I'm very content but I have a very lucky life.

I read a study that claimed there are only 3 things proven to increase happiness: regular exercise, daily gratitude and a job or hobby which helps others.

I think I'm happy, I have no reason not to be when i think about it it.....but then I wonder if I'm as happy as I could be. I sort of doubt my happiness or feel guilty if I feel my happiness (whole different story there)

Clashcityrocker..... that resonates

I’m happy because I appreciate everything I have. I love my husband, kids and animals. My house is comfortable and I have enough to eat.

I could dwell on all the things that have gone wrong for me and my family- bereavement, ill health and constant pain... but how would that help? I prefer to dwell on the positives.

Seems contentment suits us better than happiness

I am happy with my lot - job, partner, good health, family, friends, house, area I live in, - we all have down hours/days but currently happy.

I sometimes think I would like a bigger house, part time hours, more money etc but unless I do something about this it won't happen.

As long as there is enough money to pay the bills I'm 😆 happy

I actually feel somewhat guilty for feeling happy which hinders me

On the whole yes, probably because I have achieved that work/life balance thing.
I don't much like my job, but it pays well, decent pension and I work part time so its bearable. I have a nice walk through the park to the office so no stressful commute. I don't drive so no hankering after fancy cars. I have a fairly ordinary Victorian terrace which is in a great location. I would love a utility room or office but next year I will get the loft done so I'll be happy with that. I have great friends, a cat and my allotment.
Life is not always easy, I have an amazing so who I adopted 7 years ago. He has ASD. He has been through so much and astonishes me every day with his resilience, determination and sheer joy for life.
I've had some I'll health over the last few years but am grateful for the NHS as I sit drinking tea recovering from surgery.
I was happy enough before my son, my money went on travelling, gigs, theatre. If you asked me the top 10 things I wanted to see and do in the world I"ve been lucky enough to do them, some of them twice.
For me happiness or contentment has little to do with big houses, flash cars,fancy holidays. I'm 54, I gave up my dream job to adopt my son, this has taken me down a far more fulfilling path than my 'career'. He is nearly 15 so getting quite independent and I'm getting my life back. In five years I will retire from the civil service and plan to provide supported lodgings for care leavers as my pension won't be enough. I will potter round the garden and allotment, release my inner hippy, get a dog, make jam,volunteer in my community.
We are not rich, but have more than we need and are far from poor, we have love, family and friends. That's more than enough for me.

I’m happy most of the time. Not necessarily ecstatic, but generally content and appreciate all the small things in life. I think a lot for me is just my personality- I’m naturally an enthusiastic, open, optimistic person with a positive, ‘glass half full’ outlook.

There have been plenty of times when I’ve felt down or unhappy and have faced adverse circumstances. But for me, the key has always been that I’ve felt in control of my life. So whenever things have not gone well, I’ve either viewed it positively as a new opportunity, or made changes to get myself out of that situation.

I’ve always felt like I have choice and autonomy in my life, so maybe that helps - if I had ever been in circumstances that were totally unable to be changed and I had no way to influence them, then maybe I’d feel less happy.

I feel happy most of the time and have stopped wanting too much.
I'm more grateful for each day that passes without incident.
It could be a whole lot worse...

I'm happy,always have been and I've got no money, live in rented accommodation and have been a single parent for 15 years.

I was really shocked when a close friend who has money, a lovely husband, and their own house with no mortgage said to me "I've come to the conclusion that life is just shit, with the occasional good day"

I do suffer badly from depression at times, but I have this weird optimism that no matter how bad it is, and it does get bad,it'll always get better.

I think my main thing is I'm not materialistic, if you're content with what youve got and only buy what you need to, then happiness is easier to find.

Happiness is not a constant state. if you expect it to be you will never find it.

Strive for being content, have moments that spark joy and embrace sadness.

sounds like mumbo-jumbo-hippy-nonsense but honestly, expectation will be the thief of any happiness you may feel.
Practice mindfulness and living in the now. It will bring you peace and the ability to handle life.

also

get outside more
smile at people
make chit-chat to strangers
get lots of sleep
less SM more books
eat well, drink water, exercise.

Yes I am happy, my husband is in better health for which I a very thankful. (Thank you NHS).

I am happy because I want to be happy. There is no point in being miserable.

Right this minute I'm happy. I ran 10 miles in the forest this morning in the drizzle ( this helped a lot). Going to have burger and chips for dinner. Children are all happy and occupied.

Sometimes life is crappy but other times you have moments when you think, actually, life is pretty good.