Tragic Events & Aftermath (Trigger Warning!!)

[BearRabbitPants]

Posting in AIBU for traffic.
I was just wondering to myself about the aftermath of tragic events, in the very first minutes, hours, days after the event.. for example 9/11, or the London Bombings.
I suppose I've pondered Upon this as I visited London at the weekend with DH and a horrible fleeting thought went through my mind that if there happened to be a terror attack & we were killed our children would be orphaned ! (Very morbid I know, apologies!)
Has anyone experienced a tragic event & it's immediate aftermath? Or helped someone caught up in one of these events? Or worked for ambulance/fire services- maybe saved a life? I know we hear a lot on the news reports but I just can not fathom out how someone IRL copes with witnessing or being a victim of such an event & continuing with those memories... I find it so upsetting still when I think of the people that jumped from the World Trade Center , and the services that cleared the wreckage & what they must have seen...

Have a read of "Out of the Tunnel" by Rachel North, written as she recovered from being caught up in the bombing at Kings Cross on 7th July 2005.

I had just come out of the tube and was walking towards London Bridge to go over when the attacks happened, saw the van crash and the terrorists get out it was all very surreal and I couldn't quite understand what was going on and still went to go towards the bridge until we heard the screaming, a man on a bike stopped in front of me and just scream they are stabbing people run, so we ran back to the tube station and saw it all unfold on our phones and TV when we got home.

It didn't really hit me until a few days later, then all the thoughts of if I was 5 mins earlier I would have been on the bridge instead of someone else, should I have gone to help etc.

I had to give a statement to the police and they did offer support.

I was in the arena of the Manchester attack with my little brother. I can still hear the bomb that sounded like thunder, the smoke coming through the doorway into the arena and it smelt exactly like sparklers. People screaming, climbing over each other, people falling over running. Outside was chaos, police everywhere, roads closed, armed police asking if we were ok if we were lost. My boyfriend was picking us up (we live an hour away) and on the way out of Manchester about 3 miles from the city I had counted 40 blue light ambulances on the other side of the motorway heading towards the city. That night was rough. The time after was tough. I have a lot of anxiety, I was signed off work for a bit. We went to the one love concert (I did not want to go but my brother did) and I was so on edge and felt sick the whole time. I've never been to an arena concert since and I will never ever ever return to Manchester arena. But it gets better with time, and I count my blessings that we are both alive and not disfigured, dead or grieving for a loved one like so many others x

Compartmentalisation is a handy tool in carrying on with life.

I experienced a major earthquake several years ago that killed 150 odd people in the city I lived in. I lived in the city centre where the damage was the worst. I saw dead bodies under rubble and dying people on the back of utes (ambulances couldn't get to them). I also walked past a building on fire, I remember covering my nose because of the smoke, it turned out there were many people trapped in there and who died. I didn't know at the time.

It took me several years to get over the trauma and I jumped every time there was a loud noise, for a very long time.

Different people react differently to different situations.

Some will go down the PTSD route, some will haul themselves up by the bootstraps and get on with it.

I've lived in a war zone and I cant say it affects me, perhaps its supressed. I no longer duck when I hear a jet, but I still feel relief when I hear a certain helicopter (chinook). But I'm very no nonsense and very stoic. Others, not so lucky and over think and dwell.

Some people may not be comfortable sharing their experience, or may have difficulties revisiting their trauma.

Some will go down the PTSD route, some will haul themselves up by the bootstraps and get on with it.

Oh, do fuck off.

No one 'goes down the PTSD route'. It's not a fork in a road you decide to take.

for everyone who has posted that has been affected. It's scary enough attending shows/concerts since the Manchester attack for anyone let alone someone who was witness to it, I'm not surprised that anxiety & fear stays with you. I hope each & every one of you received the support you needed.
It's always hard to imagine what I'd do if it were to happen to me. As pp states- it would almost feel 'dream like' (nightmare probably a better word) and so surreal it would take the brain a while to figure out what was going on!

@Ilikeanimalsmorethanpeople don't ever feel you should have done something to help- you kept yourself safe, rather than becoming possibly another casualty. Anyone would have done the same, including me. Even police state 'run and hide' and do not try to be a hero.

Some will go down the PTSD route, some will haul themselves up by the bootstraps and get on with it.

Jesus.

Nobody chooses PTSD as a 'route'

There's a horrible silence in the aftermath of a terrorist attack that seems to last for ages and ages, though it's probably a second at most.

I don't think this is a terribly tactful thing to ask, though, in all honesty: I've survived terrorist attacks, and been a first responder to others. I've lived and worked in war zones and natural disasters.

I'm not going to tell you what people smell like as they are burning to death, or what it's like to see traumatic amputations and wipe other people's body parts from your skin, if that's what you are after from this slightly odd thread.

If you really can't imagine what it's like to keep going after seeing horrific scenes then I will tell you that. You crack on with life, sometimes feeling slightly guilty at having survived/failing to save someone. What the fuck did you think ?

I was working in a high profile area of London on 7/7. A colleague’s husband was the first on the scene at Tavistock Square. I was responsible for keeping 120 staff safe. A family member was part of the team coordinating the police response.

It was a deeply unsettling day, but one that made me proud of humanity rather than despair of it. Life is very much for living, and memories of that day and the days and weeks that followed it remind me of that.

@SarahAndQuack I agree PTSD is not a "choice"... I know a guy who was in the army and had to help slaughter and burn livestock when the foot & mouth outbreak happened, farmers literally held a shotgun to his head trying to defend their cattle & sheep because their whole living was being destroyed, plus the fact that the soldier was also vegetarian, it affected him terribly... the cries of the animals, the smell of the carcasses burning... he said it was one of his worst moments in duty & received counselling for it. Some people are unable to just 'get on with it' but I do agree if you are living somewhere where you are witness to war you would become 'numb' to the horror of it all.

What was weird was how quiet the streets were. Parliament Square, Millbank etc all silent apart from police and ambulance sirens. No buses or taxis to be seen anywhere. Not many people walking around either.

DS1 was in a terrible accident last year and almost lost his life several times. I witnessed the accident and spent the following few months next to him in hospital while he recovered.

I'm quite stoic and practical and not prone to panic. But this has knocked me sideways in terms of anxiety. I've never struggled with it before but now if either DC is away from me I have a pain in my chest I can't even begin to describe other than my heart skipping a beat with worry. I know eventually I can work through it, I know realistically that life will move on and it'll get better. But watching my boy almost lose his life blew my heart apart and I don't think that will ever leave me. I said to DH not long ago that now that DS1 is recovered and back to 'normal' that it's only now hitting me how truly awful the situation was.

How emergency services personnel deal with such terrible situations day in day out is beyond me. One event with one child tipped my world on it's axis, let alone an entire career spent saving lives. I take my hat off to anyone who runs towards any kind of emergency situation in order to help, whoever they are, because it takes an absolute core of steel.

You have some bad attitudes about mental health, myopinionisvalid

Your opinions in that post are horrible, and bollocks!

Some will go down the PTSD route, some will haul themselves up by the bootstraps and get on with it

What a fucking disgusting comment. I have severe PTSD and if you think I chose that route there must be something seriously wrong with you.

Different people react differently to different situations. Some will go down the PTSD route, some will haul themselves up by the bootstraps and get on with it. I've lived in a war zone and I cant say it affects me, perhaps its supressed. I no longer duck when I hear a jet, but I still feel relief when I hear a certain helicopter (chinook). But I'm very no nonsense and very stoic. Others, not so lucky and over think and dwell.

What an unspeakably horrible and demeaning post. Genuine PTSD is not a choice and has nothing to do with "strength". Shame on you.

@Hefzi no not at all, I think you have misinterpreted my OP completely, I'm not a troll wishing to upset anyone, hence why in the thread title I stated trigger warning.
Apologies that this hit a nerve as you have been at the scene of a tragedy. I'm sorry for what you experienced.

My ex husband witnessed a horrible RTA.
Lorry came off motorway at speed. Hit a tree. Cab was sideways.
He stopped immediately and approached the cab. Two closer witnesses were walking back down the hill. They told him not to go further. He could hear screams, so he went.
He climbed in, and sat between them. I won't give unnecessary details, but he held one guy in the cab to prevent his death. The other guy died as he held him. My ex-H then pretended to converse with the deceased man, to prevent panic in the other.
The police arrived, vomited, and walked down to await the ambulance.
He had to make a statement, then called me sobbing from the nearest services. Then he went to work. He was covered in blood.
He was not offered any counselling, and he had daily panic attacks. He totally changed. It destroyed him.

Some will go down the PTSD route, some will haul themselves up by the bootstraps and get on with it

Well you clearly know fuck all about mental illness, your whole post is nasty implying that people who dont "just get on with it" are somehow weaker.

PTSD is not a choice.
Anyone who believes that has never experienced sufficient trauma to trigger it.
It's a bit like men saying pregnancy and childbirth can be 'overcome'.

@FudgeBrownie2019 so sorry for what happened to your son. You must be incredibly strong, but I suppose as a parent you just have to be! I'm so pleased he is well now. You are right it takes a special person to be in the emergency services.

@Pretendingtobeapsychokiller that is terrible that he was offered no support or counselling... especially as counselling services privately are extortionately price so many people can not afford them. It sounds terrible what he witnessed.