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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have found this rude?!

92 replies

willynillypie · 14/06/2019 10:05

I am a SAHM with a baby. I was ja king small talk with my neighbour this morning whilst taking my baby for a walk. She has already made a few snippy comments about my “perfect life”. She was moaning about work so I said “yay it’s the weekend though” and she looked at me and said, in the bitchiest voice “well every day is a weekend for you.”

Not sure if I’m being sensitive or if this is rude.

OP posts:
Original poster
willynillypie · 14/06/2019 11:39

megrichardson

I am sure that that is true

OP posts:
Itssosunny · 14/06/2019 11:41

OP, I am a SAHM and people think I knit and read book all the whole day. It's insulting but it's our business what we do.

Lweji · 14/06/2019 11:41

you are being unpleasant

And you are being egged on by pps to be equally rude or unpleasant to this woman for how you perceived her comments.

Just stop chatting with her or letting her know about your life. Just say hello and move on.
It seems to me that she's hit a nerve, which is why you're giving her too much head space.

Itssosunny · 14/06/2019 11:42

"read books the whole day"

Dec2019mumtobe · 14/06/2019 11:46

I'd personally never make small talk again.

Smile, "morning" and walk off now.

who needs negativity in their lives...

PollyPelargonium52 · 14/06/2019 11:46

It astounds me when people have no clue with young babies how demanding they are. A furniture store wondered if I was 'having a lie in' when they rang me at 9 am when ds was just a baby. WTF.

Lilyannarose · 14/06/2019 11:50

She is very rude.

Someone once said to me "It must be nice not having to work".
I gave her a full job description of me being a carer to my severely disabled child. I didn't spare any details!

She stood there and listened and said, "Oh. I see. I didn't realise".
Never commented about me "not working" again.

tinylittlebird · 14/06/2019 11:57

What would people have said as a response? I am curious! I wussed out and said “DH is home at the weekend so that’s nice”. I’m annoyed with myself.

Grin and say 'Yeah!'. Grin

Liverbird77 · 14/06/2019 12:00

She is ignorant and jealous.
I am a sahm and it is bloody hard work. My husband does a lot of childcare at the weekend so he can bond with ds and I can have a break.
The weekend is definitely the weekend!

WhiteRedRose · 14/06/2019 12:02

An old friend was like that. Then she had a baby. I took great pleasure in reminding her of her shitty pa comments about sahm's when baby was about 10m old.

Since then she's moved on to being passive agressive about me moving in to a house that was ripped out and redone before we moved in, as if it's anyone else's fault but her's that she bought a house that was a shit tip and needed ripping out 🙄 (...and that 4yrs on she still hasn't done any of it).

Makes my blood boil a bit. She isn't a friend really much anymore for that reason.

ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 14/06/2019 12:03

The standard repose to this is to burst out laughing uncontrollably saying "I wish! Imagine going to work and never getting to clock off like you do for the weekend. Me? I'm stuck constantly caring for a newborn. No time off for me!"

Original poster
willynillypie · 14/06/2019 12:08

lweji

Someone does not have to have hit a nerve for their comment to be considered rude!

A PP is right though that being with a baby 24/7 and limited adult contact means I give her too much thought.

OP posts:
CruellaFeinberg · 14/06/2019 12:12

Isnt it friday today? Not actually the weekend?

InezInez · 14/06/2019 12:12

She's jealous!

Juells · 14/06/2019 12:15

Don't remind her about the birthday party. Don't know why you invited her anyway, if she doesn't have a child of a similar age. Wave and walk on by quickly whenever you see her.

PuppyMonkey · 14/06/2019 12:15

You could ignore as PP suggest. If you could say: “Yeah, I still love weekends though as it means I can have a lie-in till 6am rather than 5am because DH is home. Anyway, bye love, don’t work too hard.”

AryaStarkWolf · 14/06/2019 12:18

I would reply with "I know, how lucky am I?" would annoy her much more :p

Itssosunny · 14/06/2019 12:36

AryaStarkWolf, I like your reply. She could also suggest her neighbour to have a baby of her own.

Zilla1 · 14/06/2019 12:36

Yes, she was rude. Either inherently nasty or having a difficult time. Your response which implied you're happy that your DP will be at home at the weekend was a good response. You probably didn'tt intend it but your happiness with your DP might have annoyed her more than any planned or clever response if she's nasty and unhappy with her DP or with being a LP (I know not every LP wants a partner). To some extent, you can't argue or win with stupid or nasty people so just be yourself and enjoy your life (Sorry to sound like some sunny life guru).

loveskaka · 14/06/2019 12:40

I would have said 'at least u get a long lie on ur weekend, have a drink and basically do anything u want when u want!' Grin

BeaShehe · 14/06/2019 12:49

@willynillypie ahhh wrote my own thread as something similiar (snippy comments for being sahm) happened to me recently!

You're not being sensitive, you're right to be offended at her remarks

Keep up the good work :)

Nomorepies · 14/06/2019 12:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

SavingSpaces2019 · 14/06/2019 12:54

What would people have said as a response? I am curious!
"Errrr....everyone has their own parenting style. Mine isn't yours so don't project your shit onto me"
But then i'm very blunt in the face of nastiness like that!

ittakes2 · 14/06/2019 12:55

She does sound like she is being rude but I am also a stay at home mum - from memory the days did not change much with babies from mon-fri to sat-sun - same routine. I would give her the benefit of the doubt - if she says something again just say to her you sound jealous!

TenDays · 14/06/2019 13:01

The key phrase here is 'the bitchiest voice '. Of COURSE she meant it nastily. She's jealous/bitter for some reason, maybe because you have a loving hardworking DH and a beautiful baby.

I'd keep the contact down to a neighbourly wave from now on. Let her find someone else to hate on.