Anxiety sufferers...how do you cope?

[Afternooninthepark]

Every day I feel as though I am swimming through a pool of treacle with concrete boots on and only just about holding onto my sanity by the skin of my teeth.
I have always been an anxious person but the last few years have been really bad and I am getting to the point where I honestly feel as though I am going to go insane soon!
I have so many physical symptoms from the anxiety (IBS/sensitive tum/indigestion/nausea, headaches, light headed at times, jaw aches, muscle tension/aches all over, feel weak and shaky (the list goes on 🙄) I am stuck in a vicious cycle of anxiety, physical symptoms, anxiety and then depression from the weight of it all, but outwardly I put a smile on my face and everyone thinks I’m ok.
None of this is helped by the fact my ds(13) at times has school anxiety/refusal and my mum has Alzheimer’s and dad isn’t coping well with her diagnosis. I know we all have our burdens but I honestly feel like a ton weight is on me at times!
I’m 46 so maybe my age may be contributing (perimenopause?) but I have tried so, so many things and nothing is helping, so far I have tried

Exercise - I walk for an hour every day with my dog
I am careful with my diet as I have IBS I don’t eat too much crap, no coffee, no alcohol etc
No drugs or other stimulants
I have had various counselling sessions and last year 3 months of CBT, none of that helped me
I listen to a relaxation/hypnotherapy app each day

My gp keeps offering me antidepressants the current one being Sertraline but I am absolutely petrified to take them, I just can not have any more physical symptoms (I am a PA for a disabled lady and drive a lot), the thought of having a bad stomach or feeling dizzy or having headaches from the side effects just exacerbates the anxiety (so, so stupid I know, just can not rationalise atm!!)

I just don’t know what else to do?
Any advice? What has helped you get through or just cope better with all consuming anxiety?
Apologies for the long ramblings but am hoping some fellow anxiety sufferers may see this post and can offer some advice which I might have overlooked in my quest for a peaceful mind 😊

I’ve shamelessly put this on AIBU for hopefully more traffic!!

I strongly suggest you look into HRT. I'm your age and started HRT last October. My anxiety is a distant memory. Never underestimate how horribly hormonal fluctuations impact your anxiety levels.

Fluoxetine. Seriously, you'd take medication for any other problem, so why not this? For most people side effects are mild and only last a short while. I take it for perimenpausal anxiety and sweats and it's great!

Have you tried yoga? I find it’s brilliant for calming my mind and body and will also teach you wonderful breathing techniques which also help anxiety. Check out Yoga with Adriene on YouTube she has loads of videos you can try. I can recommend her 30 Day Challenges. Her latest one is Dedicate. You don’t have to be experienced to do them. Also I found taking magnesium and Vitamin D supplements helped my anxiety so might be worth a go?

You have my sympathy OP anxiety is awful. I would consider the medication.

And yes to getting hormone levels checked and take HRT if necessary. Some of my friends rave about it.

aqua I do wonder if I am in peri but am having a battle with my gp he says unless I am missing periods or having constant night sweats then I am not in peri yet my gynaecologist says that’s a fallacy and I could most definitely be in peri!
flying it’s ridiculous, I know, I even have the prescription for Sertraline sitting in my purse, it’s just that I can just about get through each day with the physical symptoms I do have, the thought of having any more sends my anxiety into overdrive!

Wineloffa yes, I do some yoga each week, I was in H&B yesterday looking at magnesium might try that.

I suffer too and pretty much in the same way as you. One thing that's has helped recently (helped a little but any help is good) is having my DP explain to me that alot of what I was feeling was due to the circumstances I was in and that most people would feel the same. Overwhelmed, not having a clue on what to do, not wanting to leave the house etc. He said it wasn't my GAD causing that, it was what I was having to cope with and that nearly everyone would struggle just the same. So now I try and look at things and see that my response to issues is more "normal" than I though.
It sounds like you have a hell of a lot on your plate and I would imagine most people would struggle with all that going on.

As for the antidepressants, take them. Yeah u will feel rough for a few weeks but after that the cloud will left a little and life will be easier. And remember if they don't suit there are lots of others to try.

Give the medication a chance op. You might feel worse initially but if they work for you eventually it'll be worth it. Good luck, I feel for you.

Sertraline. I was spiralling... God knows what would have happened to me if I had not born the bullet and tried Sertraline. I took a low dose for a year, stopped with no problems and now manage all anxiety with cbt techniques.

The side effects I got were: a little bit spacey feeling for the first few days and bit shaky in the hands, then nothing after a fortnight. Nothing other than feeling a whole lot better. I take a very low dose though. I totally understand your fear a d I put off starting after I read the possible side effects in the patient information leaflet! But I'm glad I started and I wish I'd done it far sooner. You can always give it a go, what have you got to lose? If it doesn't work you stop taking it and if does work you'll feel a lot better.

I'd try the Sertraline. You can always stop taking it; but it might make the world of difference.

HRT is a good suggestion, too!

My exercise has to be more than walking to affect my anxiety. A fast swim usually helps, or a run. There has to be an endorphin surge! Yoga has helped in the past, too.

Talking to someone always helps. My DP is wonderful for that, thankfully.

Eating well and getting enough sleep. I don't drink coffee anyway, and don't snack much, but making sure I'm getting plenty of fruit and veg, and I'm not nutrient deficient.

IGNORE your gp, (they are useless when it comes to treating peri-menopause), and get to your gynaecologist as soon as you can.

I have anxiety and the physical symptoms we're taking over my life. I was constantly on alert thinking I was about to collapse and have a heart attack or stroke.
I was scared to take meds but did agree to CBT which helped. One thing I would highly recommend is Paul David's blog and his book 'At last a life' really resonated and has seen me through some dark patches and I credit it with helping turn my life around.( No quick fix hard sell, just an honest account of his own struggle and what he learnt).

Thanks everyone. I do know that I should at least try the antidepressants. My gp prescribed 50mgs but I said that sounded to much to start so he has suggested halving the tablets for the first few weeks.
He is pretty useless when it comes to the whole HRT thing but unfortunately I’ve now been discharge from gynae so am thinking of changing my gp in the hope of finding a more menopause friendly one!

I do have a treadmill, I really should run on that maybe it may help but I’m so bloody knackered all the time.

Thanks Blue I’ll check out that book.

50mg is the starting dose for Sertraline. It goes up to 200mg maximum but most people find that 100mg is enough.

I won't lie the side effect aren't pleasant but they fade and I can't tell you how much of a help it can be. If you feel at the end of your tether I would take them. It can give you enough sanity to be in the right headspace to start CBT and other techniques to help you manage your anxiety in other ways.

I'm a similar age to you op, and noticed that once I turned 40 my anxiety got steadily worse, along with lots of physical symptoms. Been to A&E several times thinking I was having a heart attack but it was just anxiety.
What works for me is Propranolol 40 mg 3x daily, Citalopram 20mg each night, Magnesium supplement and Vitamin B complex.
Also regular epsom salts baths. Get a huge bag from ebay for about £20 which lasts months. Rescue remedy spray for my handbag for emergencies.

I also pray every day - but if that's not for you, the head space app is good for mindfulness.
Finally, No more panic is a great site for lots of tips on dealing with all levels of anxiety.

Good luck. Anxiety is so pervasive, causing physical symptoms which then increase the original anxiety.

I have GAD. It took me two weeks to pluck up the courage to take Sertraline, but I’m so glad I did. Previous anti-depressants had made me feel kind of deadened, not anxious or sad, but not happy either. It didn’t happen with Sertraline, I was still able to be happy (important as I have two small DC).

The other thing that helped was building up my exercise. I’ve always been pretty much sedentary, but I found High Intensity Interval training combined with weights was incredibly effective as a mood stabiliser. It also helped I could do it from home (no having to go to a scary gym and interact with other people) and get a workout in in about 40 mins when I could.

Obviously it’s important to everyone to be happy! I just meant that was one of my biggest anxiety fears - that I wouldn’t be able to be happy with DC, and that they might have ongoing issues due to my lack of engagement.

Medication

Sertraline has been a god-send for me. The first 10 days were rough, but I had no issues with driving or being at work, so they were manageable. I also take it at night, which meant that the worst of the side effects had worn off by morning.

Thank you everyone, looks like I really should give the meds a go.